Health: Today, I shaved "downstairs" for the first time. Today also happened...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Owch - 17/03/2016 12:03 - Australia

Today, I shaved "downstairs" for the first time. Today also happened to be the first time my cat tried to join me in the shower, making me slip my razor cutting myself, followed by several deep gashes from my cat to my genitals. FML.

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Keywords

Awkward Love Relatable Students Work Racism Relationship advice Health Cheating Pregnancy Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Food Revenge Animals Cats Boredom Management Sexism Parenting Kids Parents Weird Miscellaneous Job interview Social Media Jealousy

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You deserved it 130

Today, and every time I try to talk to my mother about being a lesbian, she just says in the most condescending way, "Oh no you're not sweetie, it’s just a phase." The "phase" has lasted 17 years, including marrying my wife and adopting twin sons, but sure, it’s “just a phase.” FML

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Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 546

You deserved it 3 569

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

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I agree, your life sucks 51 351

You deserved it 3 559

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I agree, your life sucks 2 199

You deserved it 291

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I agree, your life sucks 2 506

You deserved it 307

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 913

You deserved it 4 497