Health: Today, I sharted. While I was naked. Standing on a new carpet... - FML

By SSS - 18/11/2018 03:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I sharted. While I was naked. Standing on a new carpet in my girlfriend's bedroom. In front of my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 016

You deserved it 881

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

whiskey'swino 15

Sunday 18 November 2018 4:10

Never trust a fart.

Rabite 28

Sunday 18 November 2018 4:27

How does this keep happening?

Comments

Mungolikecandy 19

Sunday 18 November 2018 15:13

To work out FML or YDI more infomation is required. Is this a random bowel explosion or was it alcohol related?

Charlie Given 26

Sunday 18 November 2018 18:49

I farted ,it tickled ,my butt cheeks wiggled hey look Jesus is on the carpet🤣🤣🤣

l_train 2

Sunday 18 November 2018 23:33

That's called "marking your territory".

Linda Graber 12

Sunday 18 November 2018 23:51

Well ain’t that the *****.

jabc34 9

Sunday 18 November 2018 23:53

hope she had stain master protection

randybryant799 20

Sunday 30 January 2022 2:46

Could you not feel it coming???

wrenavery90 12

Friday 19 August 2022 1:45

I have to admit that would be a deal breaker for me.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Cheating Babies Love Surprise Health Gross Poopoo peepee Transportation Weird Awkward Facebook Paranoia Jealousy Embarrassing Cute Sexism Painful Birthday Insects Miscellaneous Vacation Food Television TV shows Money Bosses Work Public freakouts Cops Fight

The Top

Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 457

You deserved it 4 424

Today, I called my husband and he told me that he was going to invite his friend Jeff over that night. I told him I would prefer that he didn't come over. He took it to mean that I wanted to spend time with him and came home with flowers. Then had to tell him I was leaving him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 638

You deserved it 158 192

Random

Today, I was intently watching my odometer to see it change from 99,999 to 100,000 when I ran into the back of another vehicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 287

You deserved it 31 668

Today, my older brother offered me a cigarette. I took it and barely took a drag before he socked me in the arm and lectured me for taking the offer. He's an alcoholic, and smokes daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 192

You deserved it 9 625

Today, I discovered my new step-dad has a rule about the shower. After three minutes, he turns the water off at the source. I had to beg him to turn it back on whilst covered in shampoo suds, and the only way I could get him to give me another minute was to forfeit my phone for the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 609

You deserved it 2 289

Today, my husband was disgusted by me expressing breast milk while we were in the shower together. This is the same man who thinks it's funny to pee on my legs because, "It'll wash off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 128

You deserved it 4 999

Today, for the third time this week, my boss made me switch desks. Each new desk is closer to the door than the last one. I think he's trying to tell me something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 870

You deserved it 2 773

Today, I waved at a cute guy when I was leaving Wendy's. I then ran into a curb, spilled my Frosty, and hit my head on the steering wheel. I turned around and both the cute guy and his dad were in hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 259

You deserved it 43 975