Health, Poopoo peepee and Weather: Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got...

By blabla - 28/10/2011 13:30 - Brazil

Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 313

You deserved it 12 995

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

We've all done it

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 04:00

Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall and the toilet paper had ran out. I had to use the socks I'd just bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 216

Soaking

By Dumbass - 19/11/2022 06:00

Today, I went to change my socks after I stepped in a puddle of water. As I walked out of my bedroom with a fresh pair of socks, I stepped in the puddle again. Three times. That's four pairs of socks ruined. God, I'm such a dumbass sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 1 118

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 011

You deserved it 2 788

By eggnoodles - 13/12/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 002

You deserved it 53 138

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 635

By phukt - 19/05/2010 18:42 - United States

Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 174

You deserved it 30 562

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 381

By Tp - 30/06/2010 00:39 - United States

Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 887

You deserved it 28 896

When nature calls…

By Anonymous - 23/10/2022 22:00 - Australia

Today, I got the strong urge to pee right as I got home from work. In my hurry to get inside, I grabbed my keys out of my pocket. They flew out of my hand, into the bushes. I couldn't find them in time and ended up wetting myself in my driveway, three minutes before I had to pick my daughter up from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 172

By Dani - 24/01/2012 05:23 - Australia

Today, I tried to take a piss in the woods, but ended up peeing all over my feet. I still had to hike another five hours in wet shoes. My boyfriend's only comment was, "At least you didn't wet your pants." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 318

You deserved it 26 726

Buttsexpirate 9

Friday 28 October 2011 15:50

Umm, umm, umm I can't do it! I just can't do it. Tell me please, the suspense is killing me!

RomanBeauty 0

Friday 28 October 2011 15:52

Why would you stand up before using toilet paper? Or- if it was used, why wouldnt you just toss it in right after you used it? Gross- either way.

Comments

All_Blacks 2

Friday 28 October 2011 22:05

I'm still waiting for the FML here.

SplotchyxDroneZ 7

Friday 28 October 2011 22:11

Not even an fml

iwadasn 32

Friday 28 October 2011 22:11

If the most FML-worthy thing that you can think of is that you wrecked a pair of socks, I'd say your life is pretty good.

Sniper3000 0

Friday 28 October 2011 22:22

Op is female

bubo_fml 10

Friday 28 October 2011 22:24

Neither...U dried off your feet w/ toilet paper because the sox were too wet!

Milovan 1

Friday 28 October 2011 23:15

Uhmm i think to read or text, read his recent FML's

starless_fml 0

Friday 28 October 2011 23:32

The socks?

starless_fml 0

Friday 28 October 2011 23:32

The socks?

gleeotch 1

Friday 28 October 2011 23:41

who stands up with the toilet paper still in their hand?

javierb88 3

Saturday 29 October 2011 0:24

The toilet paper because you are smart!

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The Top

Today, one of my roommates bought new cowboy boots. He insists on wearing them indoors. Every morning he paces up and down the linoleum areas of the apartment with the boots on until he absolutely has to go to work, waking us up with the clomping noises. I and my other roommate work night and graveyard shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 71

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 412

You deserved it 2 826

The Top

Today, it's my one-year anniversary of being sober. For the occasion, my father decided to spice-up my non-alcoholic cocktail with booze. I didn't realize, and drank it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 667

You deserved it 125

Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 100

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 454

You deserved it 10 180

Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 684

You deserved it 7 052

Today, my best friend rang me to complain about having to pay childcare fees when she's still working from home. She doesn't understand why I couldn't sympathize with what she was going through. Clearly she forgot I'm a childcare worker who would like to be paid for the work I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 871

You deserved it 192

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 190

You deserved it 3 669