Intimacy Today, I hooked up with this guy for the first time. Things were... - FML

egglord - 17/01/2016 17:25 - United States

Today, I hooked up with this guy for the first time. Things were moving quickly, and while we were making out, he slipped his hand down my pants. Well, I was really relaxed I guess because I accidentally farted. Fml

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today was the last my last day of high school ever, to celebrate me and my friends were going to go into the city and hang out for a bit. I missed the bus they caught into the city so I caught the next one, when I got there I asked where they were. They didn't respond. FML

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Today, I applied for a job as a dishwasher. I was denied because I don't have enough experience. FML

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Today, I was walking my dog when I saw a cute guy jogging towards me. I tried to look cool and gave him a smile. At that exact moment, my dog stopped to poop directly on my shoe. The guy jogged past without breaking stride and muttered, “Perfect timing.” FML

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Today, I was supposed to be picked up by my date. I haven't got my license yet, so all my dates have to pick me up. He never showed. He also didn't bother to text or call that he wasn't coming. Neither did the five other dates I was supposed to have this summer. FML

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Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

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Today, I visited my mom at the graveyard first thing in the morning. Not even 24 hours after the funeral, someone’s dog had taken a massive, liquidy shit all over her grave. FML

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