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TheLadyOpal United States

Today, I have such an irrational fear of the noise my smoke detector makes when it goes off, that dying in my sleep from smoke inhalation or carbon monoxide poisoning sounds absolutely peachy by comparison. FML

TheLadyOpal tells us more.

Aaaah! I finally got an FML published :D Awesome. Now to clear a few things up: I have had an irrational fear of sudden loud noises my whole life. Not necessarily the noise itself - (although there are exceptions if it's particularly loud, like the smoke alarm), but the anticipation of the noise - one of the reasons I hated school was because I would sit in class and worry about whether or not we'd be having a fire drill that day. And I don't keep an alarm clock. I have tried to keep one in the past, only to realize that if I'm expecting an alarm to wake me up in the morning, I don't sleep. I don't have a cell phone either, and I live alone, so to the smartass who suggested someone mess with my phone to set an alarm ring-tone, sorry to burst your bubble :P And no, I don't actually WANT to die - I was just thinking about this the other day and saying to myself, would I actually rather die in my sleep than wake up in the middle of the night to a terrible noise and have to maybe evacuate my house and call 911 and probably dissolve into a sobbing wreck due to all the anxiety? No, death is not the better solution, obviously, but irrational feelings tend to disregard logic.

Collection

Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Top comments

Alarm clocks must make you cry.

ineedalogin 19

Alarm clocks make everyone cry

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Comments (99)

"Dying is the easy way out Daniel-San!"

complaints like this..only in America..FML

Hiimhaileypotter 53

Comments like yours....only from idiots.

thats really weird, but FYL OP.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

you should try sleeping in your car at your garage with the engine turned on. the car will block most of the noise, and the engine will drown out the rest of the alarm.

I understand this is supposed to be a joke, and we are on a site known for its rather crass answers. But this kind of thing really seems beyond needed. I am not saying you aren't allowed to put it or that you are a terrible person for doing it... but suggesting someone poison themselves as 'solid' advice for a real fear... Idk it just seems sleezy.

Just as long as you remember the crappy second part when fireman carry you outside in your underwear.

Or worse not in your underwear at all!

Have you arranged for someone to accept your posthumous Darwin Award for you?

Imagine you can change the sound of the smoke alarm makes into something more...pleasing to the ear I suppose

the sound of your own flat lining EKG is far more terrifying, learn to love you CO detector

At least if you stop the microwave you are still safe. The smoke alarm is to sound to warn you of your impending doom.