Work: Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for...

By Marie - 08/06/2009 18:51 - United States

Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 450

You deserved it 4 793

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Same thing different taste

Business casual

By Anonymous - 08/04/2013 08:30

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 252

You deserved it 5 583

Memorable presentation

By paul - 02/02/2010 11:25 - France

Today, I had a big meeting. Halfway through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-workers, but I didn't understand what they meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, and he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 290

You deserved it 4 765

By screwedupfuck - 27/03/2015 21:19 - United States - Lowell

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 450

You deserved it 6 067

By gatorhead - 09/09/2010 18:05 - United States

Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 464

You deserved it 2 498

Hi guys!

By Anonymous - 06/08/2019 02:00

Today, I stubbed my toe, and as I was hopping about clutching my toe and swearing like a drunken sailor, I turned and saw my boss, our CEO and pretty much the entire board of directors through the boardroom's open door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 512

By Anonymous - 20/09/2015 15:23

Today, I accidentally farted at a board meeting. My boss thought it came from the guy sitting next to me and gave him hell for being a pig. I was too mortified to say anything, even when the guy blamed it on me, which caused my boss to rage at him for lying and then to kick him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 816

You deserved it 12 097

By Eric Forrest - 24/02/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, while at a work meeting, I finally summoned up the courage to share and express my opinions about unprofessionalism in the office. After the meeting, I went to clean up, only to notice in the bathroom mirror that I'd had a booger pasted across my forehead throughout the meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 139

You deserved it 23 959

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 976

You deserved it 25 500

By theshad - 10/09/2010 06:28 - Reserved

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 955

You deserved it 28 718

Leftovers

By anon - 16/11/2022 18:00

Today, I went back to work after a nasty sinus infection. While I was talking to my manager, I sniffled, and a huge ropy string of green snot popped out of my nose. My manager pointed and shrieked, "OH MY GOD! EWWWW!", getting the attention of everyone in the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 186

danplusplus 0

Monday 8 June 2009 23:22

You've got red on you.

blameyourself 0

Monday 8 June 2009 23:22

Maybe you shouldn't snort?

Comments

baydestrian_girl 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 19:18

that is really disgusting

rockstarK9 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 21:15

maybe you should cut back on the coke.

booter 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 22:47

It's been said but come on, really? FML for submitting in FMLs and getting beat out by this Scrubs rip off bullshit.

SVelasquez 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 2:10

...this is fake. The act of snorting is an inhale which means that unless she sneezed mid-snort, she'd have blood on her or up her nose.

MetalCraze 11

Wednesday 10 June 2009 19:24

this was an episode of scrubs your a liar

mustangsami118 5

Thursday 11 June 2009 17:45

im pretty sure polite snort is like an oxymoron

alison91896 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 16:38

agreed!

ChaosRuler5151 0

Friday 19 June 2009 7:02

time to get your nose cortorized... never too late you know

Guitarist45 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 8:21

lol! this happened in SCRUBS!

ridiculous502 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 14:43

I'm having trouble picturing this scene. Did your blood projectile onto him, or were you just siting that close to him.

klpryde 0

Friday 23 October 2009 20:11

HAHAHA #50!

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The Top

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 684

You deserved it 11 188

Today, my parents used to tell that me life gets way better after high school. Yeah, for everyone else at my school. They’re partying it up in college or travelling during gap years, meeting all sorts of people. I have to work more than full time because my parents kicked me out the week after I graduated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, my brother's life was ripped apart. His wife has chosen to no longer be his wife and is trying to keep his dog as well. My brother has always been proud of his family and hopeful for the future. He will spring back, but this came out of left field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 86

Today, I walked around town by myself for four hours because I was too ashamed to tell my parents that I have no friends willing to spend time with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 129

You deserved it 4 696

Today, I went horseback riding with this guy I like. I asked him to help me get on the horse. I slipped, and while trying to keep my balance, I kicked him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 940

You deserved it 5 727

Today, it was my mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room, only to see my dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain, I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now my dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 222

You deserved it 7 210

Today, for the first time, I hugged the man I have been in love with for four years. It was a congratulatory hug at his wedding to my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 932

You deserved it 14 487

Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 649

You deserved it 54 041