By karmaplz - 23/02/2011 14:26 - United States
I agree, your life sucks
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karmaplz tells us more.
I feel the need to clear up some of this discussion! First of all--thanks to all these anon. people for defending me. I honestly submitted this immediately after getting the phone call @ 8:30 am, never thinking it'd be posted. Secondly-- is he a bad guy? No. I'm sure if being a cop is what he wants to do, and has his heart in it, he'll do great at his job. As far as the disrespect: it got to a point where I wasn't valued as a person, and some very vulgar, vile, rude and hurtful things were said/done to me, that wouldn't have been done if I was respected for who I am. If I was seen as a human with a heart and feelings, these things wouldn't have been done. Can I say that this will never happen to another female? No. Do I think he's pure evil? No. Saying bad things would have been purely vengeful and ruined a potential career. Also, I wasn't listed a reference, they required names and phone numbers of "significant relationships"--- I was asked if there was ever an assault between us, and about his moral character. That's it. I've had a seriously great laugh over realizing this was actually posted, and loved reading all the comments. Thanks!
Top comments
Comments
YDI for not telling them he's disrespectful. Why would you tell them good things about him? If he was that big of a jerk you could have stuck it to him and given him a very bad reference. Sheesh.
Seriously. YDI for sticking up for him and not having a voice.
Mokiikom_fml
8
You mean, not committing perjury. So many of you kids seem to fail to understand this basic concept. Making up crimes to get your ex barred from joining the police IS a crime. They wouldn't have discarded him for breaking her heart! She would have had to make up something for them to kick him out!
guestxxx
0
58, it really depends on the level of disrespect. If he abused her in any way, it would have been better for her to tell the truth. It's difficult to tell whether she would have to lie to the police or not since we don't have all the details. I think she shoul have told them how she truthfully felt about him, including the negative things about him.
guestxxx
0
should** iPod sucks >.>
sourgirl101
28
Look on the bright side, hopefully he'll never give you a speeding ticket because you're such a sweet, caring, selfless person.
Presuming you were honest, well done :D
Why did you have to say nice things about him? You simply could have told them that you felt you were an inappropriate reference because of your history with him. Or, if you know his work ethic, thats all you talk about. Its not necessary to give glowing commendations. Just say they're a good worker or a bad worker.
Inspired22
11
Um, why do so many of you think she should be vengeful? If anything, she could have told them she was his ex-girlfriend, and therefore not a good source for information on him. But to trash him? Sorry, but that is just an immature way of handling it. Would it really make her feel better to sink to that level? Sorry, OP, he really shouldn't have used you as a reference.
sallen0046
4
You didn't have to do any such thing. If he was disrespectful to you, he's probably going to be disrespectful in the position, and they should have been made aware of it. What you should have done was tell the complete truth, or have told them you were not comfortable giving a reference for him.
bandit1107
6
All cops arent assholes
Just because he was a total douche as a boyfriend does NOT mean he'd be a bad police officer. Kudos to you, OP, for being mature enough to separate your personal feelings towards him from his professional life; as much as it may have opened up old emotional wounds, you're to be commended for being honest and taking the high road instead of being petty and vengeful.
Just because he was a total douche as a boyfriend does NOT mean he'd be a bad police officer. Kudos to you, OP, for being mature enough to separate your personal feelings towards him from his professional life; as much as it may have opened up old emotional wounds, you're to be commended for being honest and taking the high road instead of being petty and vengeful.
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Why didn't you just tell them bad things?
As someone who knows a fair amount about the hiring process, you should have told them he was disrespectful. It is NOT grounds for disqualification, but it would give them a realistic idea about who he was. They would talk to him about it, but that doesn't mean they would DQ him. You should have been honest.