Miscellaneous: Today, I found out the hard way that blood-filled deer ticks...

By Anonymous - 21/02/2015 15:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out the hard way that blood-filled deer ticks can look a lot like black jelly beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 015

You deserved it 8 563

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/02/2010 14:21 - United States

Today, I realized that the "pimples" on my back weren't pimples at all. Because I was unable to see how bad they were for the last week, I never caught on to the fact the they were, in fact, ticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 231

You deserved it 6 768

Yucky!

By theapplesleader - 23/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 566

You deserved it 3 812

By Luna - 22/07/2012 02:30 - United States - Carmel

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 684

You deserved it 3 530

The spirit of John Lennon

By Becks - 07/09/2020 23:01

Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 565

You deserved it 103

By seadrick - 06/06/2015 16:19 - Canada - Granville Ferry

Today, I learned that not only do wood ticks have a habit of dropping off of branches onto you as you walk under them, they also like to hang out in groups of five or six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 801

You deserved it 2 132

By ewwww - 26/05/2013 17:55 - United States - Oak Lawn

Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 574

You deserved it 4 311

By rivercitybarf - 08/08/2009 08:48 - United States

Today, I found out that worms in apples aren't something that you just see in cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 697

You deserved it 6 896

By John - 26/03/2012 02:53 - Saint Lucia

Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 676

You deserved it 3 031

By awkardtaco - 28/09/2018 13:30

Today, in spite of 2 different types of bug spray, underwear, and jeans, I discovered not one, but two mosquito bites on my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 621

You deserved it 233

By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 04:32 - United States - Sparta

Today, I went to the Doctor's for a mole my husband had said was, "growing and changing color". It turned out to be a wood tick. My husband knew, but said it was too "icky" to take off himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 591

You deserved it 7 765

dylanger16 19

Sunday 22 February 2015 5:32

You might want to go to the doctor and get tested for diseases then

Queensland 27

Sunday 22 February 2015 5:33

Why would you want to eat a black jelly bean anyway, they're the worst!!

Comments

itsCoCobish 7

Sunday 22 February 2015 13:49

Well his lil bad ass had some nerve...

thejonac 21

Sunday 22 February 2015 15:40

it's really of utmost importance to seek medical attention immediately OP

askingandy 23

Sunday 22 February 2015 16:06

Oh god, I might cry

nachoz 2

Sunday 22 February 2015 17:09

Man I hate it when I want to eat a blood-filled tick and end up eating a black jelly bean.

JKPwnage 27

Sunday 22 February 2015 17:36

"Slimy, yet satisfying!" -Simba

JayVicious 20

Wednesday 25 February 2015 23:10

pretty sure they both said that

marigoldcobain 21

Sunday 22 February 2015 18:24

Eww, gross! Really, I have nothing else to say, that's just really, really gross... FYL.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 22 February 2015 19:25

EWWW! Black jelly beans are nasty! But seriously, I'd contact a doctor ASAP. Yuck!

peace150 12

Sunday 22 February 2015 19:44

gross!

Catlover1130 14

Sunday 22 February 2015 19:51

Ewwww!!! Lmfao both my friend and I gagged on this one.

noahsmith25 9

Sunday 22 February 2015 19:58

It's things like this that are the reason for my trust issues...

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Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 247

You deserved it 7 781

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 1 709

The Top

Today, my wife made me sleep on the couch because I ate the last Magnum Ice Cream bar. Last week, she bitched me out for singing too loud in the shower. I strongly regret leaving my ex-girlfriend of 5 years for this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 1 862

Today, police questioned me on behalf of my doctor, who couldn’t believe one person could use so much insulin, so he thinks I’m selling it to bodybuilders. I really do use it all myself, I use about 6 times as much as my sister who is also diabetic, and my diet is normal. I only weigh 10.5 stone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 109

Today, I went to the emergency room for a broken collarbone. This wouldn’t be so bad if my parents hadn’t paid $20,000 for me to go to a snowboarding academy all winter. Today was day one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 341

You deserved it 980

Today, my boyfriend moved out because our son was diagnosed autistic and he is completely uninterested in raising a child who will never be "normal" and who will "never make him proud." He also said if I want child support I’ll have to take him to court because no way is he paying willingly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 208

Today, I was backing out of my garage when my neighbour's collie ran behind my car. Unfortunately, I didn't see it, but I heard a thump. They were out, so I rushed him to the vet's. I was upset, and I guess I was driving too fast and didn't see that another dog was crossing the road. I killed two dogs today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 463

You deserved it 429

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 082

You deserved it 99 041

Same thing different taste

Yucky!

The spirit of John Lennon

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