Miscellaneous: Today, I found out that drinking coffee is the only way I can...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By _nobody_to_you_ - 02/03/2016 05:45 - United States - Fraser

Today, I found out that drinking coffee is the only way I can stay awake through the day. Today was also the day I found out that coffee makes me incredibly sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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Today, my daughter got her first period, so I went and got some products for her, certain that I knew what was needed. The lady cashier took one look in my basket and sympathetically asked if it was my daughter's first period and if I wanted help, since I clearly had no idea what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 222

Today, my dad brought home a used hunk of junk from someone he knew. It was covered in rust and dents, and the engine was making weird noises. Thinking he was being generous, he said to me, "When you get your license, you'll be driving it!" It then died with a loud bang and black smoke from under the hood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 85

The Top

Today, I was trying to get a good night's sleep before the huge exam tomorrow, which I'm extremely anxious about. The SAME night my neighbor below me is having a home birth. It lasted NINE HOURS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 258

You deserved it 1 102

Today, I realized that the only food I have is four months' worth of nutrisystem food from when my parents went on the nutrisystem diet. I am not able to secure a job and buy my own food, so I have two choices: die of starvation or die of nasty nutrisystem food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 407

You deserved it 8 968

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 962

You deserved it 3 635

Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 027

You deserved it 5 048

Today, I biked to the lake. And by "to" I mean "into". With my phone in my jacket and my laptop in my backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 063

You deserved it 4 672

Today, my dad and uncle got in an argument over money and ended up fighting in the back garden. Only, my dad is a muay thai fighter and my uncle is an MMA fighter, and they're refusing to stop until one of them is out cold. I foresee me driving them both to the hospital before midnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 103

You deserved it 1 443