Intimacy: Today, I found out how I was conceived; my parents were originally... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By TheAspieDork - 27/01/2016 01:05 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out how I was conceived; my parents were originally just fuckbuddies, but they never had the opportunity to discuss birth control. They felt obligated to get married to take care of me, but they hate each other. My life is literally the result of stupid decisions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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Kids Music Names Work Customers Coworkers Bodyshaming Awkward Landlords Roommate Money Parents Allergies AITA Dogs Singing Cute Neighbours Embarrassing Ironic Health Accident Cats Animals Airport Love Intimacy Sex Cheating Relationship advice

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Today, I picked my sister up from the hospital. Apparently, she got into it with some guy who “didn’t look disabled” for parking in a handicapped spot and laid under his tires to stop him from leaving. He didn’t realize and ran her over. Now I have to listen to her bitch and moan about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 74

Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 174

The Top

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 317

You deserved it 17 972

Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 004

You deserved it 17 620

Today, my father told all of us that he eloped with his girlfriend of two months. I'm engaged to the woman's daughter, and have been engaged since before they met, but now my family is making fun of me for marrying my "sister". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 611

You deserved it 223

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 803

You deserved it 28 027

Today, after moving back in with my parents, I found out they had held on to a chunk of mail still being sent during the time I had been changing my old address. Included was a summons to jury duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 830

You deserved it 1 427

Today, I'm going on an 8-hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 469

You deserved it 4 090