Miscellaneous: Today, I decided to attempt to relieve myself from my crippling... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Guido745 - 29/07/2016 21:40 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I decided to attempt to relieve myself from my crippling depression by reading through the top FMLs and thinking to myself, well it could be worse, but instead I ended up reminding myself of the frequent ones that already happened to me, it seems I have the bad luck of numerous people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 41

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

Sudoc 29

Wednesday 3 August 2016 22:19

At least you're not alone in your misery

Comments

Sudoc 29

Wednesday 3 August 2016 22:19

At least you're not alone in your misery

Keywords

Cute Love Music Gross TMI Coworkers Work Racism Scary Customers Kids Gamers Technology Geek Miscellaneous Neighbours DIY Relatable Ironic Social Media Awkward Cheating Sex Animals Health Insects Plumbing Money Insurance Embarrassing

The Top

Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 177

You deserved it 47 576

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 904

You deserved it 74 242

The Top

Today, I found out people are suspicious of me at work because I do a good job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 233

You deserved it 1 484

Today, I was at Walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong, she said that I'd "killed her nose." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 759

You deserved it 9 341

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 731

You deserved it 5 873

Today, a gothic 16-year-old with a bread knife tried to mug me. After warning her to back off multiple times, I punched her in the face. She ran off crying and reported me to the police. They don't believe my side of the story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 963

You deserved it 289

Today, I bought shampoos and household chemicals and was heading home on my bike when it started to rain. I felt a weird burning sensation down my back so I stopped and got off the bike. My backpack and jeans were covered in foam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 517

You deserved it 403

Today, despite having my 5-day-leave approved 2 months ago, my boss demanded I return to work in the middle of it. Why? She wants to go on a vacation and no one else is available at such short notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 469

You deserved it 1 566