Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. Five minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog had shat in the exact same spot, apparently to make me look stupid. FML
Today, I couldn’t tell that my puppy had an upset stomach before I left for work. I came home to her covered in shit inside her crate. After cleaning her up and almost being done with the mess, my husband found where she had tried to lick herself clean and then vomited it up in our bedroom. FML
Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML
Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML
Today, my dog and I came in from an afternoon in the back yard and he immediately shat on the carpet. Way to go boy. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
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Top comments
ozpunker 20
You should give your husband the "You're sleeping in the couch tonight" face.
cb1002630 11
This is me giving you the "yell at your inconsiderate husband" face. >=|
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Comments (53)
jriley4u 17
Knowing how desperate your dog was at the moment, why would you make it wait until you changed your shoes? Surely it wouldn't walk far before doing the deed. You could manage that even in heels. Poor dog.
withered 30
How do you know? She might live in an apartment building. Perhaps in a higher tower on a higher level. And perhaps she lives in a city and needs to walk to some park? Use common sense. Changing shoes takes seconds. Her husband neglected the dog. So by your "logic" (the lack of it) it is somehow her fault for taking those few seconds to change into other shoes, so she can (perhaps) take the dog for a longer walk and not just potty? I will try to make it simple. Obviously OP didn't know the dog was THAT desperate. She saw it was desperate and that is why she decided she will take her out immediately (perhaps before her own bathroom break or before dinner). So because she saw the dog is desperate and wanted out and she wanted to take her out she changed into more appropriate shoes. That task is accomplished fast. She clearly did not know that her husband neglected the dog's needs. He was at home while she was at work. He clearly didn't let the dog out whole day. Yet somehow dense people like you see the problem in changing shoes which takes seconds and not in not taking the dog out the entire day you are home.
awkwardngrateful 10
Your husband is a shitbag. I should know. So is mine. Don't expect much.
Hangryko 32
I hope he's an ex-husband now.