Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend. His response was to shoot me with a nerf gun and laugh. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML
Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML
Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he didn't believe in marriage. His response was, "I believe in marriage. Just not marriage with you." FML
Today, I proposed to my boyfriend. He laughed at me and said that proposing is a man's job, not a woman's. FML
Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 10 years has a beloved wife and a gun. I never even knew he was married or that he packed heat; others outed him. His response is not one of remorse but of self-righteousness and being outright mean to me, especially fun given my dad just died, and my uncaring mom attacks me for not supporting genocide. FML
Today, my boyfriend crossed a line with his bullshit "jokes". At dinner, he once again annoyed my dad by insisting that the "AR" in "AR-15" means "assault rifle". My dad is an NRA gun nut, so he finally blew up and told him that he was going to "AR his nuts if he didn't quit fucking with him." FML
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Top comments
PrincessCastiel 27
It's nerf or nothing
obelisk_43055 6
He seems immature
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Comments (98)
SWC_Penguin 17
[A grease-stained mechanic emerges, wiping his hands on a rag.] Well there's your problem!
RedPillSucks 33
The nerf of him!
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
He's got some nerf!
SmokinGuns 13
Sounds like he's too immature to think about that yet.
speakersboom 19
Sounds like something I would do. :)
JMichael 26
Hopefully he's just messing with you, if not don't break up with him. Talk to him and discuss each of your feelings on marriage. Maybe you two can come to an understanding.
perdix 31
And this is why your better states don't allow 14-year-olds to marry.
challan 19
But he's her cousin so it's alright.
tukies 28
Honestly nerf guns are a lot funnier than marriage anyways.
lightanddark 17
well, that settles whether he thinks he's ready, and whether you think he's ready
mrd_princess 6
If he likes it than he should have put a ring on it!! Maybe he needs to mature a little.
speakersboom 19
Why put a ring on it when you can just stick a nerf dart to it?
specialist8404 10
When in doubt nerf out!