Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I picked up on a telemarketer and started speaking in Portuguese. It turns out that this particular telemarketer spoke it as well. Every time I hung up, he called back. Telemarketers get really excited when they find out someone else speaks their language. FML
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML
Today, I got a phone call, and the person on the other line started speaking French. I assumed it was my friend, since we usually speak French with each other, so I said in French, "What do you want, asshole?" It wasn't my friend. It was a representative for the exchange program I'm applying for. FML
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
Today, a customer asked me if I was English, because I was struggling to understand what he was saying. I said yes. He then called me a liar, and said I must be "one of them Polish immigrants." Oh, and he also had a thick Scottish accent. FML
Today, while working at my call center, I took a phone call. The guy on the other line just yelled "FUCK YOU!" twice at the top of his lungs before hanging up on me. But of course, the phone agent is always at fault. FML
Today, a telemarketer called and asked if they could speak to my "Mommy or Daddy." I'm 25 years old. FML
Today, my boss rang me for the 5th time on my day off. Frustrated I pushed 'ignore' and yelled a string of obscenities at my phone. Turns out I pushed 'talk'. FML
Today, a telemarketer called my house phone and asked for my grandpa. We were in the middle of having his wake. FML
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Top comments
OhDearBetrayal 25
See that's why it helps to know an indigenous language.
tacojauns 45
Why didn't you just hang up instantly like a normal person?
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Comments (79)
nnnope 26
"ich kann nicht dich verstehen! ...sheiße"
samikitty961 8
*Ich kann dich nicht verstehen. *scheiße
MrClean17 15
Grammar Nazis: no matter what language you speak, they will find you.
Soloman212 28
Well I would assume German was their native language...
nnnope 26
32: I'm running on 4 hours of sleep, give me a break.
rg350dx 29
...Break me off a piece of that kit kat bar.
samikitty961 8
Ey, du kannst einfach sagen dass du deutsch nicht perfekt sprechen kannst. Es ist kein Kriminalität. Ich kann deutsch auch nicht perfekt sprechen, aber ich bin nicht beschämt. Respekt an dir dass du es versucht hast!
Zebediabolical 45
All I ever do is hang up and go to the CRTC website so I can file complaints as I am on the Federal Do Not Call list. It's not perfect, but in Canada at least it does a decent job.
Sinsation 7
I'm sure if you just ask them to take your number off the list, they'll do it and stop calling you. I did that and it worked. I don't know how to get around getting the Spanish-speaking ones to stop, though. Language barrier is super-effective!
samcarroll 9
Hahahaha, you should've repeated the sales pitch back to him!
Wizardo 34
Just say no and add the number to a block list, much easier than lying.
SaxophoneHero 12
Try selling him something and see how he likes it!
rhysfucker 24
"I'm glad you called! Are you interested in a great offer on a slightly used Sham-wow?!?"
Capt_Oblivious 10
Just start asking them random personal questions regardless of what they say. Make it as uncomfortable for them as possible, they'll stop calling. Works for me.
Zimmington 21
I wasn't a Telemarketer but I had a job where I would call people for custumer care & an old women did that. Then she hung up when I stopped answering her questions.
freshko21 6
I was a telemarketer and my computer would chose which numbers to call and called automatically. I just had to pitch my bullshit. The only thing they could tell me to make the computer supposedly not call again was, "put me on your do not call list".
Cheeley 17
That is one determined telemarketer.
stormchaser24 24
I always speak Spanish, and they hang up. Sorry OP. get caller ID to screen calls.
xXSherikaXx 11
Haha. Maybe you could ask them to remove you from their calling list or block their number?