Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I picked up on a telemarketer and started speaking in Portuguese. It turns out that this particular telemarketer spoke it as well. Every time I hung up, he called back. Telemarketers get really excited when they find out someone else speaks their language. FML
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML
Today, I got a phone call, and the person on the other line started speaking French. I assumed it was my friend, since we usually speak French with each other, so I said in French, "What do you want, asshole?" It wasn't my friend. It was a representative for the exchange program I'm applying for. FML
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
Today, a customer asked me if I was English, because I was struggling to understand what he was saying. I said yes. He then called me a liar, and said I must be "one of them Polish immigrants." Oh, and he also had a thick Scottish accent. FML
Today, while working at my call center, I took a phone call. The guy on the other line just yelled "FUCK YOU!" twice at the top of his lungs before hanging up on me. But of course, the phone agent is always at fault. FML
Today, a telemarketer called and asked if they could speak to my "Mommy or Daddy." I'm 25 years old. FML
Today, my boss rang me for the 5th time on my day off. Frustrated I pushed 'ignore' and yelled a string of obscenities at my phone. Turns out I pushed 'talk'. FML
Today, a telemarketer called my house phone and asked for my grandpa. We were in the middle of having his wake. FML
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Top comments
OhDearBetrayal 25
See that's why it helps to know an indigenous language.
tacojauns 45
Why didn't you just hang up instantly like a normal person?
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Comments (79)
shadowrider879 4
Speak japaneese its hard to learn less likely someone will know it
Rababco 29
That's one persistent telemarketer! He must be pretty skilled, being fluent in German (unless he is German but I doubt it since OP's in China), I wonder how many other languages he's fluent in? He seems seriously under-employed, he should probably be an interpreter or in another career that requires fluency in multiple languages. Poor guy, being a telemarketer sounds horrible; you're always being rejected and hung-up on, it can't be fun to provide a service that no one wants. I've always been surprised they still have human telemarketers; most phone calls that don't require human interaction are recordings or are messages from a computer.
UmbreonKirby 14
That's not an FML. That's this weeks "telemarketer FTW"
Blippety 23
Pretend to go along with whatever they're trying to sell you and then, when they start asking for personal details, say, "Wait, I've just thought of something that might be a problem... I don't have a phone." They will either hang up, or you get to enjoy the sound of their brains imploding as they try and figure out what to say to you.
Dynamite73 25
I like how it says Shanghai, China as the location. For someone speaking German I wouldn't have expected them to be there.
daemonsparta 16
theyre learming
theonlynormalper 6
If hes that commites to telling you about his product maybe you should have listened to him out of kindness and becuase you already lied to him.
chenejvp 8
As a telemarketer, I get it. The calls are annoying. You're just as annoyed receiving them as myself trying to make them. Just tell them you're not interested and hang up. It doesn't waste nearly as much time.
jc1015 25
Um...just hang up? Or don’t answer unless it’s someone you know?