By Stop_HammerTime - 04/08/2014 13:51 - United Kingdom - Northwich

Today, due to a hammer-related incident, instead of receiving glass ornaments as gifts from my trip to Venice, my friends will be receiving novelty postcards of Michelangelo's David's penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 305
You deserved it 6 327

Stop_HammerTime tells us more.

The truth is actually much dumber than some of you are giving me credit for, and definitely warrants a YDI. I'd bought a few small glass things for my friends from Venice. They were all packaged so they made it off the plane fine. When I got home I put them down and started nailing up posters that I'd got in the museums on my visit. I put the hammer down on a pile of boxes while I went to get more nails, which was dumb, and it fell off onto the ornaments. The novelty postcards were all I had left.

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I really want to know the story behind this.

I'll play it out for you guys. OP is at home, chilling. Suddenly, wall caves in. Don't ask how, that's disrespectful. Never disrespect a man whose walls have caved in. Anyways, he calls his handyman friend. He comes over to fix that shit, says for free. Little did OP know, free fixes are an invitation for a hammer party. Long story short, all his friends are invited to bring hammers, run around house swinging them. One hits OP's fine china cabinet, one hits his nuts. That's my highly scientific theory, anyway.

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I really want to know the story behind this.

btrag97 13

So do I lol

I'll play it out for you guys. OP is at home, chilling. Suddenly, wall caves in. Don't ask how, that's disrespectful. Never disrespect a man whose walls have caved in. Anyways, he calls his handyman friend. He comes over to fix that shit, says for free. Little did OP know, free fixes are an invitation for a hammer party. Long story short, all his friends are invited to bring hammers, run around house swinging them. One hits OP's fine china cabinet, one hits his nuts. That's my highly scientific theory, anyway.

#14 lay off the drugs. It's bad for you, son.

Well that's a hard situation to chisel yourself out of.

I'm guessing it was customs, assuming there were drugs inside

Follow up definitely needed, although after 14's awesome play-by-play I don't think the real story would be nearly as satisfying.

They need favorite buttons for comments

orbit 22

Luckily, #19, he has a hammer to help

#42, you the real mvp

Creative! But OP is a girl...

Is is weird that I read #14's comment in the voice of Jules from Pulp Fiction?

Well that sucks

What happened? Why are the postcards being sent?

Did you read the first sentence of the FML? If you did you would know something happened that involved a hammer and the smashing of ornaments.

Umm no where in the first line did it say the ornaments were smashed, just that a hammer related incident occurred

Also this FML is only one sentence, so idk why you said "did you read the first sentence of the FML" implying that there is more than one sentence

"Hammer related incident?" Those damn rogue hammers smashing things on their accord.

I thought it said hamster at first

How do you accidentally smash your ornaments with a hammer?

CaiDog 20

I don't understand why even in this situation, you'd send novelty postcards of Michelangelo's David's penis

im assuming OP spent quite a bit of money on the ornaments and doesnt have enough money left to replace them, but does have enough for postcards.

I would think it's more because OP bought the ornaments in Italy, and she's in the UK now. Sooooo... maybe the only thing left from her trip are the postcards.

Was Captain Hammer the culprit?

No, it was M C Hammer.

28- Op met M.C in Venice and asked him back to her place for some wine, and wound up getting hammered. A drunken op thought she heard,"can you touch this?" Thinking this was an amorous advance she touched that, resulting in everything in her room getting busted instead of more funky lyrics. He then made a quick escape, inadvertently forgetting his penis postcards which he had already signed,"Can't Touch This," which he had found out by spending"Hammer Time" in a Venice jail.

Never give a street magician your valuables when they ask "wanna see a trick?"

You take what you can get, I guess. :/ Sorry, OP.

Well at least your family isn't getting those