Health: Today, at the doctor's, I dropped my pants and the attractive... - FML

By mind your own business - 05/10/2017 06:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Spicy

Today, at the doctor's, I dropped my pants and the attractive nurse assured me it was the biggest one she had ever seen. Unfortunately, she wasn't referring to my penis, she was, in fact referring to the huge haemorrhoid hanging out of my asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 140

You deserved it 1 948

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Top comments

The_Sewage_King 9

Tuesday 14 June 2016 16:09

Dammit, where's my eye bleach?

abNormal62 23

Tuesday 14 June 2016 16:54

Biggest hemorrhoid ever? No ifs, ands or butts?

Comments

Justinspires 5

Wednesday 15 June 2016 0:22

Hemorrhoids are no joke painful. Sorry bro. Hope you get better soon

xMaeLA 24

Wednesday 15 June 2016 5:24

In the words of our favorite animated comical beloved black guy, "Oh, that is just nasty."

SiraSiemens 21

Wednesday 15 June 2016 10:31

is that cleaveland brown?

xMaeLA 24

Saturday 18 June 2016 6:35

Yes!

Krovels 10

Wednesday 15 June 2016 6:39

lay off the taco Bell

khiiirsty 14

Wednesday 15 June 2016 6:54

Ouch

protoskore 27

Wednesday 15 June 2016 8:04

to anyone with the same general problem, try taking stuff called "bioflavonoids citrus complex" for a couple of weeks. It helps, but I have no scientific study to back up the claim, just the results for myself and some relatives.

JCirca 5

Wednesday 15 June 2016 10:14

Don't be so "butt" hurt about it

lolnothanks 18

Wednesday 15 June 2016 12:08

Stay away from taco bell

HMYX1006 9

Wednesday 15 June 2016 17:36

? ? ?

Mister_Lister 5

Thursday 16 June 2016 7:42

Well that's a pain in the ass.

JigglesGirl 19

Thursday 16 June 2016 21:50

Hahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhha

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 85

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

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You deserved it 2 123

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 34 333

You deserved it 14 651

Today, my boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint to make an arrow on his stomach pointing down. I guess he thought he'd "spice up" the way he always demands a blow job before sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 047

You deserved it 6 371

Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML

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You deserved it 2 266

Today, I was gushing about my love for Disney princesses when someone told me I "definitely needed to calm down." By whom? A four-year-old girl. FML

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You deserved it 33 219

Today, I was jogging and was about to pass a woman ahead of me. I called out I was passing so she wouldn’t be scared. She waited till I was right next to her and pepper-sprayed my eyes while screaming, "Rapist." The cops were there in less than 5 minutes, and even though I was blinded, they still handcuffed me. FML

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You deserved it 110

Today, school finally opened up using a hybrid schedule. Unfortunately, two of my teachers were quarantined and half of the school was on Zoom. I spent two hours in the library doing nothing with a mask on. Everyone else was on Zoom in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 118