Miscellaneous: Today, at Christmas dinner, my grandmother talked about the death...

By dunn76 - 25/12/2014 11:47 - United States

Today, at Christmas dinner, my grandmother talked about the death of every single dog she ever had. All 10 of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 106

You deserved it 2 749

dunn76 tells us more.

dunn76 5

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 22:17

Hi I'm the op. To clarify, yes the dinner happened last night and so the 'today' thing is technically a lie, so sue me. My grandmother is 91 so she doesn't always have a filter as on what is appropriate to talk about. As to the 10 dogs, yes, there were times that she had 2 at a time. Most died of old age, but there were some that stuck out. One died because of cancer when she was a kid, another got hit by a car, and they had to put one down because she wouldn't eat because she was best friends with the dog that got hit by a car. Yes these were sad, but she is a good dog owner. She was tearing up when she was telling the stories. I love my grandmother very much and visit her at least once a week. As to the xmas mood, we decided to stop dinner and open presents to lighten up the mood for my younger sister. So don't worry, we had a good xmas!

Miscellaneous

Empathy lives

Late term

Clean up in aisle 3 please

By Anonymous - 19/04/2012 06:24

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 607

You deserved it 3 005

By analgirl - 09/11/2014 13:31 - France - Paris

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 018

You deserved it 4 381

By Anonymous - 10/11/2009 06:43 - United States

Today, I got a paper back that was given a zero for suspected plagiarism. Everything I wrote was my own thought and analysis. My instructor basically thinks my paper is smarter than I am. He won't listen, even when I explain my thought processes throughout the piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 591

You deserved it 2 719

Liability

By Anonymous - 18/10/2021 11:00

Today, my friend broke ties with me after I came out of the hospital from attempted suicide. She was the one who called the police for me to go in there in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 292

By mvp - 26/07/2009 23:51 - United States

Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 840

You deserved it 3 465

By hannamacintosh - 25/07/2016 14:13 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I told my husband that I think he has ADHD. He was offended and began to argue, then he got distracted by a dog outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 803

You deserved it 1 632

For real though?

By Anonymous - 15/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Parkesburg

Today, my father was offered 85 sheep for my hand in marriage. We live in the USA, and he is literally contemplating the offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 341

You deserved it 648

Great birthday

By Anonymous - 11/10/2021 23:00 - United States - Cicero

Today, I bought my boyfriend two concert tickets for his birthday to see our favorite band, and he told me he doesn't feel he loves me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 69

By Bg2466 - 15/08/2016 03:17 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I got a bad review on my work's Facebook page. The girl said I was very rude and I should never work with the public. I was trying to flirt with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 112

You deserved it 15 599

By Anonymous - 23/04/2014 02:46 - United States

Today, I finished building a porch I've worked hard on for the past 2 weeks, and I was very proud on how amazing it turned out. Within 20 minutes of it being completed, my pregnant dog decided to crawl underneath it to have her puppies. I had to take half the porch apart to get to her and them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 121

You deserved it 5 491

By Chewy - 05/01/2010 10:45 - United Kingdom

Today, after my girlfriend telling me for years that she would marry me in a heartbeat, I finally proposed. She said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 440

You deserved it 4 236

By sadNsingle - 23/09/2017 06:00

Today, my boyfriend of 7 years and I broke up right before my sister's wedding, because he didn't want to be there when we found out he gave the both of us an STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 454

You deserved it 794

The things we do for family…

By taylor_b22 - 13/09/2021 11:01

Today, I agreed to spend the evening walking around an antique tractor show for my dad and sons, but I’m bleeding too much to stay out of the bathroom more than an hour. I’m violently ill from it, and I already have a bum knee and asthma, so I don’t know how I’m going to pull this off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 100

By NotAmericanIdol - 23/04/2009 20:04 - United States

Today, I was home by myself. I was singing "If I Had A Million Dollars" really loudly since I figured no one could hear me. As I'm really into the song, my neighbor shouts, "If I had a million dollars, I'd give it to you to stop singing" and slams his balcony door shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 496

You deserved it 29 160

By raz - 02/10/2012 00:11 - United States - Fargo

Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 456

You deserved it 2 621

By Anonymous - 27/09/2014 02:46 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 035

You deserved it 3 494

By a genius - 12/02/2009 13:28 - United States

Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 876

You deserved it 60 194

By lifsabtch - 06/01/2013 17:24

Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 334

You deserved it 8 792

By Anonymous - 05/08/2012 05:33 - United States - Mahwah

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 316

You deserved it 6 593

Nature calls

By Anonymous - 03/10/2019 16:00

Today, I had to use a drop hole toilet while camping. The smell will haunt me for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 620

By amanda_ae_erin - 10/11/2009 04:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 7 years broke up with me in a text message. Then I found out from a mutual friend that he "came out" and told everyone at our school that he is gay. He has known he was gay for years and he was just using me as a cover up. What a great way to start my senior year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 935

You deserved it 5 003

By Sir Vom-a-lot - 14/06/2012 16:28 - United Kingdom - West Drayton

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 580

You deserved it 6 569

Love in the time of coronavirus

By Darkparcero33 - 28/02/2021 08:01

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Then my COVID test came back as positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 128

By Goodie - 09/09/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I found out my ex bought a digital camera, an iPod, and a large flat-screen TV, all purchased with the alimony I'm paying him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 697

You deserved it 7 740

WTF, dude?

By NNTA - 26/12/2013 23:21 - Netherlands - Maastricht

Today, as I was driving back home from my grandma's, I looked over at the guy in the lane beside me, only to witness him with a sandwich between his teeth and his cock in his free hand. Now I know why I don't leave the city, or even drive, more often. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 237

You deserved it 4 502

By tan disaster - 27/02/2009 23:09 - United States

Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 478

You deserved it 39 257

By cyprianista - 13/02/2015 16:13 - United States - Houston

Today, I spent an ungodly amount of money to send my long-distance boyfriend a giant bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day. A few hours after making the non-refundable payment, he let me know we weren't going to work out, and that he was already sleeping with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 088

You deserved it 4 398

By Crippled - 27/12/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, my parents bought me an alarm clock that runs away from you while beeping obnoxiously when you hit snooze. I just had ankle surgery and am unable to walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 606

You deserved it 2 882

By shit.... - 08/11/2012 18:25 - Malaysia - Kuala Selangor

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 574

You deserved it 31 234

By haunted - 23/10/2015 20:41 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I woke up at 2am and went to use the toilet. I sat there doing my business, when I heard a voice whisper my name from behind me. I live alone and the toilet is right up against the wall. I screamed and ran back to my room, then went without sleep for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 491

You deserved it 2 400

By Anonymous - 24/01/2015 17:24

Today, my manager gave me hell for leaving the restaurant early yesterday. Guilty as charged, but only because I was rushed to the hospital after going into diabetic shock. This assmunch is convinced that I either faked it all to get off work early, or that I'd been eating our own stock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 693

You deserved it 2 341

By ERnightmare - 02/08/2018 21:00 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I was lucky to have an extremely attractive doctor operating on me. This would have been great had he not been removing a foreign object from my vagina after an ill-fated masturbation session. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 053

You deserved it 4 095

By Anonymous - 11/07/2013 03:04

Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 952

You deserved it 5 639

Thanks, honey.

By Fluffy - 13/12/2017 19:00

Today, I noticed that I've been gaining some weight. Don't worry, my boyfriend doesn't mind. His new favorite thing is putting my boobs on his head and saying he feels "safe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 595

You deserved it 884

By Anonymous - 03/01/2012 01:10 - United States

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 736

You deserved it 3 630

Thanks for the memories

By Bpride1 - 10/11/2021 23:00 - United States - Moses Lake

Today, I was victim to not one but two narcissists. I'd totally thought that these people were my friends, but everyone warned me that, "They’re only your friends when they need something from you.” I should’ve listened. I constantly felt like they were just using me. A "Thank you" goes a long way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 212

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 01:51 - Australia

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting 'goo', which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 360

You deserved it 3 789

By dammit_ - 16/02/2009 07:36 - Canada

Today, I walked by my roommate and his girlfriend while they were hugging. I asked, "What's up lovebirds?" Turns out they were in the middle of a breakup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 068

You deserved it 10 213

Simple pleasures

By juggalo2 - 10/10/2021 05:00

Today, at work, I overrode the limit on my forklift, allowing me to carry four pallets instead of two. Then I was able to place them all within a ten-foot radius, giving a massive boost to my efficiency. My excitement faded when I realized that was actually the high point of my day/week/month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 220

By anonymous - 20/06/2012 14:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 068

You deserved it 6 580

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

saxitus 13

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 18:47

Did the conversation die along with it?

loganberrybat 11

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 19:08

You know all living things die eventually don't you...

saxitus 13

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 18:47

Did the conversation die along with it?

Duckzy 16

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 18:51

Along with the appetite and happiness

JMichael 25

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 18:58

Way to make everyone feel bad on Christmas grandma..

raffcity 7

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 18:58

Merry Christmas!

Patriots21 14

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 21:06

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.

dunn76 5

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 22:20

Kinda, we opened presents after

coming back in the future 30

Send a private message

Saturday 27 December 2014 9:22

#42 Home alone reference?

Internetdude 22

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 18:48

And I thought my dinner sucked..

manateesarecool 13

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 18:48

Does her name happen to be Debby Downer?

aruden 25

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 18:48

Thats a cheery Christmas topic.

fuckercakes 21

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 18:49

That really sounds depressing to me, your grandmother should learn what conversations are meant for another time.

badluckalex 23

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 22:01

you would think she already knows given her age

MrConcise 34

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 23:08

My mom just found out we have to put the dog down. Nobody in the world aside from me and my mom like him because he's high maintenance and bites when he's anxious. We kind of have a special bond with him as a result, so we've been spending lots of time just hanging out and loving on our buddy before he has to go. He still has lots of energy and such, so it's been really special. Death isn't always a sad thing.

CallMeWindSock 24

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 18:49

That's dog gone terrible

amadeclton 26

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 19:48

Just like your pun.

devin17 4

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 18:51

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

saraitkddh 47

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 18:58

you do realize that no one on fml write a post at the time of the incident, right?! It is not like a women would find her husband cheating on her and the first thing she does or pops to her mind is writing a post on fml.

royal_ranger 12

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 19:03

He probably wrote the Fml yesterday and It got featured or popular (whatever it's called) Today.

greencurtains74 11

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 23:11

also the time it shows is not necesarily the posters time zone.

Danise_123 9

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 18:52

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

loganberrybat 11

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 19:08

You know all living things die eventually don't you...

Danise_123 9

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 19:16

but all 10....dogs live long

brand125 17

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 20:06

maybe she had multiple (even like 3 or 4) of them at the same time over the years at a given time then it would just be that they reached their lifespan..

josh8215 21

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 20:39

Not of they were all Saint Bernards or another breed of oversized dog. Those things only live several years if I'm not mistaken.

loganberrybat 11

Send a private message

Thursday 25 December 2014 20:44

This woman is a grandmother. Chances are she's in her 50s or 60s or maybe even older. Dogs live on average 10-13 years; if she had multiple dogs at once since she was a child, this is more than plausible.