Miscellaneous: Today, as I was telling people to please not pet the llama, said...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 19/06/2016 03:38 - United States - Toccoa

Today, as I was telling people to please not pet the llama, said llama spit on the side of my face. Not only was the smell so rancid that I gagged every time the wind blew from my left to right, but chunks also got lodged in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 28

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

sherman77 5

Monday 20 June 2016 1:51

Good demonstration on why not to put it!

Comments

sherman77 5

Monday 20 June 2016 1:51

Good demonstration on why not to put it!

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, and almost every day, I find out that something "mean" or morally questionable my parents used to do to me when I was a kid is actually considered abusive. I've now come to the conclusion that I was a victim of pretty much every type of abuse (except for the physical kind) during my childhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 187

Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our baby, and said, "Look, it's the fat kid that was in the nursery." My baby is six and a half pounds, and my wife hasn't stopped crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 996

You deserved it 2 918

Today, I got asked to a BBQ by new friend. I walked in, and to my horror she's a hoarder. The house was packed wall to wall and everything was covered in thick layers of dust and dog hair. Her dogs were filthy and untrained. They snatched food off the counters while she laughed and kept cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 96

Today, I jumped when, after being home alone for days, I suddenly saw the door handle move. Apparently, the cats weren't happy about being locked out of the kitchen and were pretty close to figuring things out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 203

Today, my deadbeat dad threatened to press charges against me for harassment if I ever contact him again. I've contacted him twice in the last two years, once to tell him he was going to be a grandfather, and once to send him a birthday card from my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 764

You deserved it 1 841

Today, at 7 a.m., I ended up outside in a nightdress, barefoot and in the rain. I've just found out that my two-year-old son now knows how to close the patio door, which of course, has no outside door handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 772

You deserved it 3 942