Kids: Today, all four of my children are sick &My husband is at a work... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 03/02/2016 15:51 - United States - Livingston

Today, all four of my children are sick &My husband is at a work convention. After being up for the past 12 hrs with no crap break in sight,I manage to sneak off to the toilet. A few minutes in I feel something odd, look down and realize, I didn't pull my thong off. I literally split my shit. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

No comments yet.

Comments

No comments yet.

Keywords

Parents Relatable Work Awkward Job interview Love Social Media Jealousy Facebook Friends Relationship advice Kids AITA Roommate Shoes Annoying Names Music Customers Capitalism Money Education Gamers Weird Bodyshaming Coworkers Landlords Dogs Allergies Embarrassing

The Top

Today, I was at the hairdresser's getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 025

You deserved it 3 364

Today, I watched the new Fallout series, which was pretty good… except for the fact that Ella Purnell looks a lot like my ex. Now it’s 6 a.m., hours before I have to wake up, and I can't keep myself from crying. I broke up with this girl for a number of reasons which seem somewhat valid now, but I regret it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 275

The Top

Today, I went on my first date in six years. The guy was unbelievably creepy, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Right after we finished eating, he told me he loved me, then tried to lean in for a kiss. He looked like he was going to cry when I turned him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 962

You deserved it 1 966

Today, on my way out of the subway station, I noticed an older woman standing at the bottom of a flight of stairs with a large cart. I went up to her and asked if she needed help getting it up the stairs. She looks me up and down and says, "No, not from you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 066

You deserved it 4 255

Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 165

You deserved it 3 622

Today, my girlfriend and I were lying in her bed. We fooled around and were about to have sex as she suddenly began to cry without any reason. She cried for 30 minutes until I finally managed to calm her down. She said there was no reason for her crying. Then she fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 134

You deserved it 5 093

Today, I was sitting down in the hallway at school. As I tried to get up, I lost my balance and fell against a hand sanitizer dispenser. It then continued to squirt sanitizer all over the back of my shirt, drenching the whole left side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 013

You deserved it 1 434

Today, the father of one of my music students asked me out to dinner via my work e-mail. I thought it was kind of sweet, albeit a little strange, until I got his daughter's instrument rental check, with both his and his wife's name printed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 021

You deserved it 632