Money and Holidays: Today, after months of saving for a trip to India, I learnt that... - FML

By sufia - 30/08/2018 23:30 - Pakistan - Lahore

Today, after months of saving for a trip to India, I learnt that because I was born in Pakistan, I can't use my Canadian passport and have to apply for a Pakistani one. I also learnt there is a ban on Indian tourist visas for Pakistani passport holders. There goes my trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 809

You deserved it 346

There's no helping some people

BO Central

Weird reason to leave, but OK

By Anonymous - 15/03/2013 04:01 - United States - Appleton

Today, I told my girlfriend I've been a vegetarian for 6 years. Hearing this, my mom said, "No, you're not. I fry your mushrooms and onions in bacon grease." With this new information, I've been a vegetarian for about 76 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 228

You deserved it 9 650

Yummy

By Nawel - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I helped myself to a piece of a cake brought by guests at a birthday party. I didn't like it much so I discreetly attempted to give it to the girl next to me. I asked her, "Do you want some? It's sort of disgusting." She replied, "Thanks, I made it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 204

You deserved it 35 949

By darn it. - 20/02/2009 16:16 - United States

Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 964

You deserved it 4 136

By Ouch - 10/04/2011 08:55 - Canada

Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. I had my headphones in and was blasting my music. It was also cold so I had my hood up. I had my back turned to the house and wasn't paying attention. My brother thought I was a burglar and tackled me to the concrete. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 850

You deserved it 30 657

Baby you can drive my car

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 05:01

Today, as usual, I work nights and sleep during the day. I found out that my brother uses my car and never puts gas on it when he called me for the first time to actually ask me if he could borrow my car, and also to lend him $20 to put gas in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 90

By Anonymous - 19/01/2017 08:22

Today, the last parking space outside my work was tiny but I tried to parallel park there in desperation. A school kid saw the whole attempt and sarcastically clapped me as I gave up and drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 835

You deserved it 1 196

By KC - 17/02/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, the priest was handing out red roses after church. The woman ahead of me asked for a rose. The priest said, "Sorry, we are only giving them out to single women since they didn't get any for Valentine's Day." Then he hands one to me. This was the first time I have been to that church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 356

You deserved it 4 359

By fuck gangnam style in the anus - 20/10/2012 22:48 - United States - Stevenson Ranch

Today, I purchased a brand new television. Not long after the professional who hung it on my wall left, it came crashing down on my hardwood floor. I'm now left with a busted TV, a tear in my living room wall, and a severely drained bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 983

You deserved it 2 828

By Anonymous - 09/03/2017 12:00 - United States

Today, while e-mailing my dream college, I noticed you can see other people's profile pictures when I saw a lady I've met before. I've been using this e-mail account to communicate with all the colleges and universities. My profile picture is baby Elmo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 976

You deserved it 4 282

No one is that good in bed, surely

By Anonymous - 31/01/2021 16:59

Spicy

Today, my ex-boyfriend is still stalking me after several years. I asked him why he doesn't just move on and let me be. He replied that I drove him crazy one time when we were intimate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 110

By Anonymous - 17/05/2009 13:21 - United States

Today, I was in the dressing room of my favorite store. While looking in the mirror at a shirt I really like, the fire alarm went off. In a panic, I ran out of the store like everyone else. The sensor went off on my shirt and I was banned from the store for attempted theft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 550

You deserved it 4 796

Caught

By fuck - 09/11/2013 23:30 - United States - Hubert

Spicy

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 254

You deserved it 5 249

If only they hadn't learned to read…

By Anonymous - 20/09/2019 00:01

Today, I was hosting my kid's birthday party. I had a bunch of small trinkets, so I grabbed the first container I could find to put them in. It wasn’t until I went out and someone yelled, "I’ll take a heavy flow!" that I realized it was an empty tampon box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 658

By anonymous - 25/10/2011 01:33 - United States

Today, I was so bored at my job as a receptionist that I actually got excited when the phone rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 253

You deserved it 3 442

By Unreality - 26/01/2011 21:26 - United States

Today, I discovered my fiancé has been telling everyone else we are just friends, yet last night he wanted me to go with him to pick up my engagement ring. I'm supposing the wedding will be a surprise to everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 956

You deserved it 3 545

By daddyslittlegirl250 - 05/05/2009 02:41 - United States

Today, we watched a movie in French class. I went on a French exchange last year, so I wanted to sound all impressive and cultured for my crush who is in the same class. I said that it was my favorite movie and I couldn't wait to watch it with everyone. The movie turned out to be about incest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 044

You deserved it 83 913

By Anonymous - 08/06/2015 14:11 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 919

You deserved it 2 210

By Anonymous - 11/01/2017 14:44

Today, I had to follow a diversion route home due to roadworks. It took me an hour longer than usual to get home. Too bad it turns out that the diversion was only for traffic, not people walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 754

You deserved it 6 239

By Arachnaphobic - 22/11/2009 08:35 - United States

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 184

You deserved it 4 761

By our kids will be derps - 22/06/2013 19:28 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 404

You deserved it 6 918

Observation

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 05:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 556

You deserved it 7 967

By Anonymous - 17/04/2014 16:01 - United States - Orange

Today, I had my first car crash. I ran into a parked car and the owner saw it happen. I then accidentally opened my door straight into her car as well when I went to give her my information. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 009

You deserved it 11 736

By 4yrldkicker - 29/07/2009 20:26 - United States

Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 668

You deserved it 23 450

Excuses, excuses

By jenn - 24/10/2021 17:00

Today, my daughter didn't clean the bathroom today, even though I told her yesterday that she needed to do it. She claims she forgot, because, she’s "slept since then.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 163

By Anonymous - 17/07/2009 20:23 - Russian Federation

Today, the two and a half hours it took our poorly air conditioned taxi to go 20 miles in stop-and-go traffic was highlighted by our son projectile vomiting all over my wife, a suitcase, and the car. It ended with me having to pay both for the ride, as well as for cleaning the inside of the taxi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 275

You deserved it 3 196

By Brian - 04/05/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 507

You deserved it 64 447

By vanessa_d15 - 10/11/2009 09:09 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in his bed watching football when it went to commercial. He started kissing my neck and trying to get me turned on. Then I remembered we'd be going to visit his mom soon, where we'd be playing Wii. That thought turned me on more than my boyfriend did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 464

You deserved it 23 583

By dykerino - 12/10/2014 00:11 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I cut my hair short and he didn't want people to think he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 628

You deserved it 7 526

Not my sunnies!

By ladyofzanarkand - 20/05/2020 20:00

Today, while out shopping, a middle aged man snatched my sunglasses off my face, threw them off the ground, and stomped on them, saying, "That’s what you get for trying to look cool, asshole!" I suffer from light-induced migraines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 362

You deserved it 125

By Anon - 13/06/2009 05:17 - United States

Today, I realized that I've been a member of eHarmony for almost a year. No one has ever contacted me out of the 134 people I've been "scientifically" matched with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 470

You deserved it 7 296

By Bridget Jones? - 10/06/2013 13:09 - United Kingdom - Wolverhampton

Today, I found out that my family has a bet on how long I will be single for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 396

You deserved it 5 110

By Anonymous - 26/01/2017 00:00

Spicy

Today, I'm dating a guy who's back hair is longer than his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 164

You deserved it 1 533

By Anonymous - 05/05/2013 19:35 - United States - Bellevue

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 837

You deserved it 6 003

Slot machine addicts

By Hospoh8r - 24/03/2021 18:01 - New Zealand

Today, I'm working in hospitality. I was serving a customer when another customer came up to cash in from the pokies. I told them I'd be there in a minute, and they said OK. By the time I got to them, they were complaining to my boss. Guess whose side was taken? FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 50

By Anonymous - 22/12/2009 01:30 - Canada

Today, I got fed up with the amount of hair on my feet, so I went to get my foot hair waxed off. When I removed my socks, the waxer laughed the amount of foot hair. I'm a 18 year old female and it appears I have feet that were last seen on Big Foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 001

You deserved it 4 072

By wookieewhosshe - 25/04/2019 13:00 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, my phone stopped charging. I panicked because I can't really afford to get it fixed, and it's too stressful a time at my last semester at university to not have a phone. I took it to the repair shop, and the man turned it off and on again. it works perfectly. I'm a total idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 1 761

By maybenot - 06/08/2012 23:25 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 804

You deserved it 29 815

By Michelle - 17/10/2013 11:51 - Australia - Richmond

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 632

You deserved it 5 605

By crapcrapcrap - 14/03/2010 07:00 - United States

Today, I went on my first date with a guy I really like. He completely ignored me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 065

You deserved it 4 755

Grooming

By kdehshaden - 30/04/2012 08:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, after a lot of begging, I finally convinced my husband to shave all of his pubes off. Now I can't even look at it without laughing, and he's mad at me for making him do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 605

You deserved it 56 531

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Top comments

Beverlie Macleod 9

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Thursday 30 August 2018 21:13

If you have Canadian citizenship you can travel with a Canadian passport regardless of your place of birth.

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Thursday 30 August 2018 21:18

I'm not sure how all that works, but at least you didn't spend the money BEFORE finding all that out. Look on the bright side, you already have money saved up for a trip to another place you've always wanted to go to!

Comments

Beverlie Macleod 9

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Thursday 30 August 2018 21:13

If you have Canadian citizenship you can travel with a Canadian passport regardless of your place of birth.

Zekfen 17

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Thursday 30 August 2018 21:45

She didn’t say she had citizenship. She could have been a refuge at which point she still technically has Pakistan citizenship until citizenship process is complete.

Cali 54

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Friday 31 August 2018 6:12

Someone commented below that "they don't care that you are a citizen of another country, they won't let you in if you were born in Pakistan." Such a bummer for OP!

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Thursday 30 August 2018 21:18

I'm not sure how all that works, but at least you didn't spend the money BEFORE finding all that out. Look on the bright side, you already have money saved up for a trip to another place you've always wanted to go to!

Zekfen 17

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Thursday 30 August 2018 21:22

Oh the bright side you don’t have to worry about being raped and hung from a tree now!

_Hakuna_Matata_ 12

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Friday 31 August 2018 6:58

Cheap shot.

hfjdj 1

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Thursday 30 August 2018 21:30

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Shabnam Moghal 14

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Thursday 30 August 2018 23:14

I'm also a Pakistani and I'm proud of it. You are welcome to visit.

real life problems 26

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Friday 31 August 2018 4:54

As fucked up as that is to say, it was pretty funny

real life problems 26

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Thursday 30 August 2018 22:23

Well dont trip about it

Shabnam Moghal 14

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Thursday 30 August 2018 23:18

OP Please get an ID card made. It's called Nadra card. If you've got Pakistani citizenship then this will be easy. Get an appointment at the pakistan embassy in Canada. They will be able to advise. DM me if you want.

BurnInDemonFire 32

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Friday 31 August 2018 0:20

Lot of hatred between the two countries, so I'm not surprised such restrictions exist. There might be more than one way around it, though, if you can find the info you need online.

blahblabbity 19

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Friday 31 August 2018 1:22

i don’t understand this. i’m assuming you have dual citizenship, so why does it matter which passport you use?

PenguinPal3017 19

Friday 31 August 2018 4:25

I looked it up, and it's true. India hates Pakistan so much that they don't care that you are a citizen of another country, they won't let you in if you were born in Pakistan.

Kruxon 11

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Friday 31 August 2018 5:17

They've not asked for it but they still have it... students from Pakistan mostly face great difficulty as they won't stay for a week or two for their degree so there we have it. I'm Indian but this is pointless as they won't somehow blow up places everywhere. They are the citizens who didn't harm us in anyway but our government and some unworthy chaps still hate em for no reason.

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Friday 31 August 2018 5:28

At least you presumably still have a lot of money saved up. You could buy yourself something nice as a consolation.

Nearly

Today, I realized that I wore ripped jeand AND ripped boxers to work. Both ripped at the same place, in between the legs. The result was my looking down and seeing my dick halfway out of my trousers. I can't get up from my seat the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 17

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I'm on day 11 of having COVID. My husband said to me, "I hope you get better soon so we can finally have sex again." Thanks for being concerned about MY health and wellbeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 118

Today, I realized why my boyfriend drove me to his “favorite” hospital about one agonizing hour away while I was in labor. His friend who's a nurse worked there. Or should I say, his side chick. He made out with her in the room while I was “sleeping” after giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 95