This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 01/11/2016 06:25 - United States

Today, after having surgery and told not to have sex for two weeks, I've been begging my boyfriend to allow me to give him a blowjob, trying to be nice. He doesn't want to because he can't reciprocate. Not only has not having sex drove me insane, so is not being able to touch my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks 12 139
You deserved it 2 001
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Top comments

loxe_fml 15

FYL, indeed. Having such a caring boyfriend must be awful. Next he'll want to make you dinner or something; break up with him before it happens!

375 20
takara98 17

Well, maybe some cuddling and kissing will do the trick. While it's not especially getting-off worthy, it is quite intimate.

209 1

Comments

ronin123958 7

2 weeks have this effect on you? welcome to the average person-between-relationships world... maybe you are a little co-dependent?

16 4
jriley4u 17

If it's that important to you, fly solo. You can achieve clitoral ******. It doesn't have to be insertion sex. People need to explore other options. I also have to question why you're so worried about giving oral when he isn't? Are there that many insecurities in your relationship that you don't think he can go a couple of weeks without sex? Maybe he's enjoying the performance break.

13 1
mrBearBear 11

Tell him he can reciprocate once you can. He can even keep a tally if that helps

1 1
ThrottleJockey 35

If lack of intimacy/sex can kill you I'd be dead by now. You'll survive the two weeks.

4 5
cmorr93 2

Boo-f*cking-hoo haha it's two damn weeks. I go months between having sex and don't complain about it. In reality, He's being generous, but what dumbass turns down a *******?

3 10
Talented73 54

Q: Which of the following doesn't belong with the others: meat, eggs, wife, or *******? A: *******. You can beat your meat, you can beat your eggs, you can beat your wife.... but you can't beat a *******!

3 11
cootiequeen4444 11

...you can beat your wife...? seriously?? what kind of shit "joke" is that?

4 2
bartsj88 6

If you're crying about no sex for two weeks, then it's clear that your relationship is based on sex. You sound like a hoe.

9 16
bartsj88 6

I agree. Really? You really can't wait two weeks???

7 8
Bekll 31

I haven't had sex in almost 10 years so I can't relate to this. It's only 2 weeks and you can't wait? Seriously?

7 5
bigj316 2

he may not be able to help you down stairs but he can definitely do some good things to your boobage.

3 7