Anonymous
United States
Today, after having surgery and told not to have sex for two weeks, I've been begging my boyfriend to allow me to give him a blowjob, trying to be nice. He doesn't want to because he can't reciprocate. Not only has not having sex drove me insane, so is not being able to touch my boyfriend. FML
Top comments
loxe_fml 15
FYL, indeed. Having such a caring boyfriend must be awful. Next he'll want to make you dinner or something; break up with him before it happens!
takara98 17
Well, maybe some cuddling and kissing will do the trick. While it's not especially getting-off worthy, it is quite intimate.
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Comments (86)
writerchic85 26
It sounds like you have a caring understanding boyfriend. Try not to let it make you feel bad. 2 weeks isn't that long.
Tripartita 45
While it's nice that he's not being a dick about the lack of sex, he seems to neither care nor understand that she's actually feeling worse about not being able to go down on her. He seems more concerned with reciprocation than the fact that she's going crazy.
Tripartita 45
*him
writerchic85 26
If he doesn't want to he doesn't have to.
Tripartita 45
I never said otherwise. Nowhere does my post imply either party has to have sex with the other. I just think his explanation is contradictory; simply declining would've sufficed.
bartsj88 6
Your post implied that because he didn't want to means he doesn't care, with is quite an invalid implication to make.
Tripartita 45
Yes, it's quite an invalid Implication to make… because I never actually implied that. #1 said that he seemed understanding and caring. He might be; I don't know. What I do know is that she'd rather go down on her boyfriend and doesn't need reciprocation, and he clearly doesn't understand /that/. If he did understand and still declined, that'd be fine too. I'm saying there's no evidence that turning down a ******* makes him caring or understanding. Maybe he is, but this doesn't demonstrate it.
bartsj88 6
There's no evidence that OP's boyfriend declining implied he didn't care nor he didn't understand making your post invalid.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Just tell him to buy you chocolates or cook dinner to reciprocate. Reciprocity doesn't always need to be sexual, especially when you can't actually receive.
raven_of_azarath 35
But there's no evidence the other way, either. Either one could be right. I took it the same, in that he was more worried about reciprocation.
loxe_fml 15
FYL, indeed. Having such a caring boyfriend must be awful. Next he'll want to make you dinner or something; break up with him before it happens!
LevelupKid 8
exactly
tounces7 28
He may be caring - but he's clearly not very understanding. Denying your partner something they want to do for you because of your own ideals isn't really meeting their needs.
tigerisabelle 31
He doesn't want a BJ because he feels he can't reciprocate, and he has decided that isn't something he wants. He's not obligated to agree to one just because she wants it. It's the same if he was demanding one because she can't have sex. She doesn't have to give one, and he doesn't have to receive one. Simple as.
jnfivspam 3
he is an idiot to turn down a bj. and this is coming from a guy
ndts 4
Yes. Of course this is coming from a guy
Jay18 22
or maybe he's a guy who doesn't wanna have sex
takara98 17
Well, maybe some cuddling and kissing will do the trick. While it's not especially getting-off worthy, it is quite intimate.
kprusthoven 1
Seriously it's two weeks. You need to relax.
demonlady666 5
There's not enough context. If OP had a surgery that required 4-6, even 8 weeks recovery time, then they can't/won't want to have insertion sex for that length of time, so it's understandable that they can't/won't relax about this. OP says they can't have sex for two weeks, but that can always change. They may go back to the doctor and the doctor may say 'stay away from sex for another 2 or so weeks'. And plus I don't think rubbing one out will help in this case.
yerawizardlizzy 27
"Insertion sex." Haha wow.
demonlady666 5
shit man, I spend quite bit of time on tumblr and they're get pretty butthurt about everything so I just pretty much assumed the rest of the internet is like that. so here's my revision: man, I think you're an asshole because there's not enough context. op can't be ****** at the moment which she finds awful. maybe y'all need to get some yourselves.
buddy_J 16
^ sex isn't that important. it's not a need.
demonlady666 5
that's true, look at asexuals. just have a bit of sympathy.
CaroLouWho 10
On the plus side, your boyfriend sounds sweet, if to a fault. I see where that'd be obnoxious but it sounds like his heart is in the right place so I'd say just have a big damn talk about it and see if that helps.
acmariner99 25
I think you have a keeper there OP. He's going through the same thing as you. He's respecting you and himself. There are plenty of other ways to be intimate... cuddling, kissing, and a few other things that may not be appropriate for an online forum.
mineller 24
Your boyfriend sounds like a keeper!
Selene1090 26
No sex for two weeks is going to kill you? And you're upset because your boyfriend is such a sweetheart that he doesn't want anything he can't give you back. Sounds like you need to reavaluate your priorities, sex isn't everything in a relationship.
tamesenicole 27
Somebody finally said it!!!!
Sonotsuave 37
Wow I am sooo sorry for you. First world problems man. People don't have food or water and you're going insane from no sex as that much of a dependent ****. Hmm.