By #agirlcandream - 27/11/2017 15:09 - United States - Pearl

Today, at age 18, I am now the guardian of my sister's 10-month-old and 4-year-old. Why? She decided to "work on her" and enlist in the army. Guess that means no college for me for the next year. FML
I agree, your life sucks 4 622
You deserved it 340

Terrenixwitch tells us more.

Terrenixwitch 11

Hey guys! Update, the father gave full custody to my sister and wants nothing to do with them. He is also in jail for not paying child support before signing over full custody. As far as the kids, I'm taking care of them the best I can but it's hard since I also work. I love them to death and wouldn't want to give them up. I wasn't ready to be a temp mom this young. I know she will do awesome in her training but it put a lot of financial and mental stress on me. I had to learn quick how to take care of two kids. Thanks everyone for their advice! Also, I had to sign for them because I couldn't see these two innocent kids go through a traumatic experience such as being ripped away from their family after their mother leaving for a year. It was a shock and took a while to adapt but I'm making it work!

Top comments

PhantomCrevan 8

Yeah, I'd be talking to a lawyer and seeing what options there are. Even if said options would be government care. She legally can't force you to care for them, and you shouldn't. You don't "better" yourself by dragging someone else into the hole you dug yourself into.

I don't think that it's supposed to work that way. Especially since it sounds like she essentially abandoned them- I'd see if there's anything you can do, legally, about having custody moved to someone else.

Comments

This isn’t fair, but you obviously made a decision to sign and you sound like someone who, though young, will be a good example to these kids. It can’t go on forever and your sister will have to face her responsibilities, but this year will teach you so much and bring you closer to those kids forever. I hope you can find joy in this bad situation.

Terrenixwitch 11

Hey guys! Update, the father gave full custody to my sister and wants nothing to do with them. He is also in jail for not paying child support before signing over full custody. As far as the kids, I'm taking care of them the best I can but it's hard since I also work. I love them to death and wouldn't want to give them up. I wasn't ready to be a temp mom this young. I know she will do awesome in her training but it put a lot of financial and mental stress on me. I had to learn quick how to take care of two kids. Thanks everyone for their advice! Also, I had to sign for them because I couldn't see these two innocent kids go through a traumatic experience such as being ripped away from their family after their mother leaving for a year. It was a shock and took a while to adapt but I'm making it work!

You are a good person for taking this on and I understand how you couldn't turn your back on them. Sounds like you are the only person in their short lives that they can count on. Please understand though that this will go on for more than a year. Those kids will need someone to care for them every time she gets deployed. Deployments can be for a year or more. Good luck to you and I hope things work out okay.

Clifco57 10

Well, good luck op and I’m sure you’ll do great, and on the plus side if you ever have kids you won’t be clueless you’ll have this experience to draw from.

KrazyKatz3 26

You're a wonderful sister and an incredible aunt! I hope those kids appreciate you. Best of luck getting into college and handling the job!

You are definitely earning your sainthood.

Hopefully you managed by not abandoning your kids for someone else to raise. It is very unfair of you to blame the OP in this. Why should she pay the price for her sister's bad decisions? OP didn't make those kids.

EarthsMightiestHeroes 20

I know if it was me, I wouldn't be raising someone else's mistakes. Get out of that, OP, you don't deserve to be raising children you never wanted, never had, when you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't sign off on anything, get lawyers or the state involved, do anything you can. Best of luck!

What a way to see your own nieces or nephews. People choose to care for kids they didn’t have or want all the time and it often turns out to be the best decision they ever made.

EarthsMightiestHeroes 20

Yeah, but when OP is 18? that's not okay. She should be taking the time to figure out herself and what she wants to do in life, and having fun with friends, not stressing about children that were shoved into her care and skipping out on college when she made clear she was going to attend.

It could also be the worst mistake for some people unable to handle it. I had kids due to failed birth control and had them adopted. Best decision of my life. I have bpd and have a hard enough time with my own self. Thankfully the adoption is open so I can see them being loved and happy. Kids are very hard work and not everyone is able to be a parent especially not to kids they didn't even have. Luckily this girl is up to it but the mom really shouldn't have just done that to her. The whole thing sucks

if you're really the only (legal) adult in their lives that is willing to care for them, can you perhaps apply to the college and contact them after admission to see if they have options for you? many colleges offer special housing and classroom options for parents/guardians.

Or perhaps the college will allow you to defer for a year or attend remotely or only part-time, if you explain the situation? I know in Australia colleges/unis provide a lot of assistance and options to students with kids. You really have been handed the rough end of the pineapple - I hope it all works out for you and them.

nobody can make you their guardian against your will.

Don't be afraid to ask for help! I believe you can do it!

thatslifeiguess7 16

You can apply for daycare via welfare go to college! The kids are better off I raised my siblings from age 15 you can do it trust me.

This is one of the most ****** up family fmls i have ever seen.

AzrielB 8

More like four years, maybe OP could get child support