Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML
Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML
Today, my dog decided to take a poop at the top of an icy hill. Being a good citizen, I went to clean it up. Guess who slipped and wore the poop all the way down the hill… FML
Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML
Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML
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Top comments
Pwn17 25
Your dog really knows how to stir shit up.
FALLENSEBZERO 16
"Just smile and wag my tail"
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Comments (67)
ManInTheMachine 20
Your next move should be to squirt liquid soap under the door, spin it around a few times, and then clean it off with some water and paper towels. And while you're at it, have a little fun too. Take a ride on the revolving door and spin to your heart's content. Nobody said owning a dog was easy, but nobody said you couldn't have fun with the clean ups, either!
Sinistra_Blue 12
That whole spinning while clean thing reminds me of a girl I used to work with who tried to clean a deli slicer's blade while it was spinning. It kinda worked, until she sliced off part of her finger.
tegraturbo2000 15
ouch that had to hurt
perdix 31
That's one kind of Circle of Life.
le_megan 10
Haha time to just turn around and head the opposite way :P
Myo_fml 20
Yes, and be the irresponsible asshole that leaves the circular smear of steaming shit behind. I hope you don't own any pets.
stardustjunkie 12
I have to admit this made me laugh but I feel sorry for you OP, I bet that was really unpleasant to deal with.
perdix 31
#7, sounds like the sequel to "Two Girls, One Cup." Ever since "Girls Gone Wild" went bankrupt, the world needs a new franchise for serialized erotic entertainment. Looks like you may be onto something.
buckeyed 20
Where exactly was this revolving door? I'm interested in the audience you got.
jessBeAqueen 13
my version of shaggy...someone give me a beat.... Say it wasn't you... doggy came in and was caught me red-handed ******** in the revolving doors Picture this, we were both caught trying to make it unnoticeable. How could I forget that I had given him an extra treat. All this time we spent walking and he couldn't use a god damn tree ?
SamCat 21
lol i totally sang it in my head :-)
brittyboo123 35
Perfect.
Jemm_fml 29
Dog: "Pick up ma poop. PICK IT UP. If you can. Mwahaha. Ass. Look at him go round and round that funny door."
finalfantasyftw 10
OP this is the time to grab your dog and run.
jessBeAqueen 13
lets just hope its not a mastiff
angelitared 27
Sit. Stay. Poop. Good boy.