Today, I came back from a holiday with in-laws who don't speak English. After taking a dump and not being able to flush, I realised they had turned off the water prior to the holiday. I had to show them my poop to explain they had no running water. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I took a big, smelly, satisfying dump when I woke up. When I tried to flush, nothing happened. None of my four roommates bothered to tell me we didn’t have running water. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, while apartment hunting with my boyfriend, I needed to use the bathroom. We were on our own and no toilet paper. Fortunately I carry wipes with me, because I had to more than just pee. All was fine, until I tried to flush and realized the water was turned off. The next person will get quite the surprise. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, we had to turn the water off due to a massive leak in the kitchen sink that the plumber was currently fixing. I managed to wait two hours before my uncooperative digestive tract said it couldn't wait any longer and I had to take a mega dump in the bathroom. I couldn't flush the toilet or wash my hands. FML
Today, I came back from school camp and really had to go to the toilet. I ran to the nearest one, which was by the principal's office. After I finished, I tried to flush the button. Turns out the water was turned off so it wouldn't flush. I bolted. The principal is now stuck with my unwanted present. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Today, I went up to take a shower. I typically go to the bathroom first, I take a mega dump, then flush the toilet. Not only wouldn't the toilet flush but I found out my parents only keep one plunger on hand. It was in the downstairs bathroom. My dad came upstairs and plunged the toilet while I stood there naked. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, I'm at my in-laws for breakfast. I used the restroom to do a number 2 but the water flow isn't going. It's not clogged, but the water is not fully leaving, and my boyfriend's phone is dead. I'm helpless. FML
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Top comments
Zekfen 17
Plot twist, they didn’t have a poop cutting knife either.
Kimberley Michelle Whitley 16
Oh, it’s not? Kidding. To clarify, I meant turn the knob on the sink to show there’s not water coming out of the faucet.
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Comments (22)
Kimberley Michelle Whitley 16
Why didn’t you just use the sink?
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
You make it sound like taking a shit in your sink is totally normal.
Kimberley Michelle Whitley 16
Oh, it’s not? Kidding. To clarify, I meant turn the knob on the sink to show there’s not water coming out of the faucet.
Lobby_Bee 18
If in doubt, do your thing outside in the dirt and cover it up afterwards. It's been done for thousands of years.
Zekfen 17
Plot twist, they didn’t have a poop cutting knife either.
dexter420 21
You could of went to a faucet first
Davros 12
I think I would google how to say "no water" in their language before showing them a turd
sherbear86 21
Why not just turn on the tap?
RichardPencil 32
They say music is the international language. It’s not, but shit is. I’ll bet your in-laws understood you perfectly.
tounces7 28
You couldn't have simply turned on I dunno....ANY OTHER water-dispensing device in the entire house?
routerere 10
Next time just type "Please turn water on. I can't flush the toilet" into Google translate and it will translate that into your language of choice. Then simply hit the play audio button and let them hear it or just show them the translated text on your screen. Won't be perfect but they should get the gist. Probably a much less embarrassing and disgusting method for everyone involved.
Ishvah 15
big question, did you not bother to learn their language?
xXDemonWolfXx 13
Not everyone can be bothered to learn someone’s language for the very occasional use.