Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "Nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got home and went to hug and kiss my wife. She actively dodged me and gave me a list of nine things she wanted fixed around the house while she was out with her sister. I’m writing this from a pub garden, surrounded by people who actually enjoy my company. Fuck her list. FML
Today, I went to therapy. Previously, I had been given the task to write a list of things I hate about myself so my doctor could see what we needed to work on. I gave her the list, and she simply said, "Wow, I've never had someone give me such a long list." I had 55 items on the list. FML
Today, I wrote my girlfriend a song. She wrote me a 13-page letter on why we should break up. FML
Today, I was out of town on a work trip. I'd fought with my wife before leaving, and I felt bad, so I called her and poured my heart out, telling her how much I loved her. She sighed and said, "Okay, anyway…" and complained about bills and chores for ten minutes, then wouldn't say she loved me. FML
Today, after I'd offered to make suggestions to my partner after she finished writing an essay for her college class, and she'd read my suggestions, we argued about every single point I wrote down. Despite telling her she didn't have to take any suggestions we argued for 2 days about it. The professor had the same notes as mine. FML
Today, I was talking with my friend-turned boyfriend and cutely told him that I could no longer remember all the things that he used to do that bothered me. He told me he could remember every one of mine and listed them all off for me. FML
Today, my wife called me at work, screaming in rage that she hated me, that I was a useless lump, that she wishes we'd never met. Did I have an affair or burn the house down? Nope. I set up the kids' backpacks for school today and forgot a library book that was due today. FML
Today, I realized our life has been lacking in romance lately, so I got a card, a bunch of flowers, and made reservations at a lovely restaurant for a nice evening. When I got home and gave my wife the flowers, all she did was sigh and ask what I "fucked up this time." She also refused to go to dinner. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend whom I love dearly because he doesn't share his feelings and won't commit. Yesterday, he wrote me a long love letter telling me he wanted to marry me. One of my kids had shoved it under my printer and I didn't find it until after he had moved out. FML
Today, my girlfriend found a letter I'd written to myself for moral support while we were broken up, in which I explained why we would never work out. Apparently I made a convincing argument. FML
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Top comments
eduardo2k 0
i bet the wife was the one that came up with the idea of the book lolz
mechatron2300 0
Oh that was a setup... i feel bad for both of you :-
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Comments (225)
lisaleow11 0
i hope she gets a better man.
aby360 0
Aww :/
birdfreak 24
that's cruel
monkji10 0
that's fing cheating! there's no way that you can love someone perfectly!
xGTFx 0
ur wife lied! not ur fault at all
onetwothreeppppp 0
thats sad
raspackman 0
she was testing you and you failed. you were supposed to cheat off hers
raspackman 0
fyl shes a liar. add that to your list
deadlyriot101 7
That seems rude to make a long list, especially in a relationship book. How is this even your fml?
katarina956 0
You have to be truthful on those things. Obviously she wasn't =P her own fault