Put it away!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Spring Grove

Today, an extremely hot police officer reprimanded me. It was pretty awkward considering she stopped me because of public urination. FML
I agree, your life sucks 6 980
You deserved it 35 013

Top comments

Officer: "whatcha doin' there?" OP: Oh shit "uhh nothing, ma'am, just watering the grass"


Care to explain why you were urinating in public..?

ripresno 10

Come on, the guy just had to piss! :)

There are times when you just can't hold it.

hwkfan1 10

Not sure if high/drunk or just has no bladder control.

KM96 24

15 , there are public toilets for that

Hey OP, just be thankful there weren't any kids around. Then you'd be a sex offender.

Alwayspullout 7

I'm surprised they still arrest people for that in Illinois...

63- there aren't just public bathrooms laying around everywhere.

As long as you aren't whipping it out right in front of people, I see no reason while publicly urinating on a bush/tree should be illegal

I think everyone missed the FML. He had his penis out while peeing... A hot female police officer comes up ... I think most of us know what happens when attraction strikes...

rockaroths 15

72 - reference to horrible bosses?

I guess you could say she was...pissed off.

CuteDumBlonde64 11

Public urination? Tell me, how drunk/high were you?

BandWagonGuy 8

What's the shoulder height of your horse?

Bathrooms are in loads of places, but still not everywhere.

12 - That's not random, not at all.

3- Do you have to be drunk or high to pee in public? Not everyone who does stuff like that is on drugs. Have you never been camping before?

41- Camping in public? Only for midnight releases, otherwise camping doesn't relate to this FML at all.

49- I realize camping has nothing to do with this FML, but when people go camping they sometimes end up peeing in public places, or just not in a bathroom, because there is no avoiding it. So what I was trying to say is that people who go camping and pee outside on a bush or something are not necessarily on drugs, so it's wrong of 3 to assume that anyone who pees in public is under the influence.

StopDropNRoll 11

I'm amazed at how shocked everyone is about guy peeing in public. You swear you haven't had to take a piss and found a bush or a concealed wall a pissed there.

BandWagonGuy 8

Zya please, you really don't get what I'm saying?

HairyPunisher 27

Yeah how does no one get BandWagonGuy's comment? He's implying that the comment about OP being high or drunk came from a judgmental person on a high horse. I agree with his comment. There is absolutely NO indication foul activity took place with OP. Maybe he was on a road trip and stopped off the side of the road. Who knows.

Peeing in a bush when you're camping isn't public urination; peeing in an alleyway where you could reasonably expect someone to walk in on you is.

BandWagonGuy 8

At hairy punisher, THANK YOU!

KiddNYC1O 20

64- Couldn't agreed more. When you have to go you gots to go.

Oh my back, I just thought you were being really random.

68 - Just how clear is it for you? Please enlighten us.

horsechick123 0

16'3 and what OP was gross like come on

VampObsessed 16

Really? You just had to go so badly that you seriously couldn't find a park or any other establishment? Sorry buddy; definite ydi.

i had to piss on the side of a building once cuz there wasnt a restroom nearby. sometimes you cant help it. the trick is making sure no one can see you or at least not making it obvious.

Some people need to control their bladder.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Some store owners need to let you use their goddamn restroom.

nothing like walking into jail with a boner

I don't think you get arrested for public urination.

Officer: "whatcha doin' there?" OP: Oh shit "uhh nothing, ma'am, just watering the grass"

destinee_95 2

That's the best comment ever hahaha

Seems like you guy haven't been on FML for too long.

destinee_95 2

Just because you guys didn't like it doesn't mean I can't think it's hilarious. We just have a different sense of humor:)

klovemachine 24

My comment didn't deserve a thumbs down...gee people get a sense of humor :P

Yes, it did. You dont have to express how much you concur with someone's comment if you're just going to use two syllables. That's what the Thumb Up button is for.

Nothing like the fresh smell of piss to set the romantic mood ;)

Hell, I hear that. My dog loves that shit.

Don't underestimate the number of people who have weird kinks.

klovemachine 24

It's better to be pissed off than pissed on :D

If there was a vent diagram about your comment and the FML the only thing in the middle would be "Piss".

Were you expecting him to re-type the fml or something? A comment doesn't have to contain words from the fml to be valid..

Scrap that, the fml doesn't even use the word 'piss' in the first place

Oh god. He's not saying it needs to contain the same words. He's saying this comment had nothing to do with the FML except that it was about urination. Was that really that hard?

sarah56195 0

This has absolutely nothing to do with the FML.

Why were you peeing in public in the first place?

pinkpixie06 11

You've probably had some pretty nasty dreams about a similar situation...minus the public urination part.

Hey now, don't judge. Nothing wrong with fantasizing about it WITH the peeing part as well...

Dude, if you're trying to pick up a hot cop, peeing in public is not your best bet.

I don't think OP was trying to pick up hot cops, the fact that the cop was hot just added to his humiliation and misery.

Yeah I got that. Dumb joke was dumb.