Today, I was having an intense argument with my girlfriend. At the height of it, in a rare moment of total silence, Alexa announced, “Now playing: ‘Someone Like You’ by Adele.” We both stopped, stared at the speaker, and then continued arguing while Adele sang on in the background. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was in a heated argument with my partner. In the middle of it, Alexa stated, “I’m not sure about that.” We both paused. Then she added, “But it doesn’t sound healthy.” We were both so startled that we stopped arguing and just stared at the speaker like it was judging us. FML
Today, I was having a heated argument with my boyfriend over the phone. Mid-sentence, I yelled, “You never listen to me!” Alexa, from across the room, replied, “I’m listening.” My boyfriend started laughing so hard that he hung up. FML
Today, my girlfriend posted “Alexa, play 'Flowers' by Miley Cyrus” as her Facebook status, all because I didn’t return her 14 missed calls. Apparently, taking an online proctored exam, which required absolute concentration counts as “talking to other women.” FML
Today, I realised my girlfriend likes to play Taylor Swift whenever she wants me to leave her alone. FML
Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML
Today, I was with my girlfriend and she was making me listen to one of her recordings for chorus. As I was listening to it, a solo came on, and i turned to her and said, "This is the worst fucking solo I've ever heard in my life." Little did I know, it was her solo. FML
Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I was exhausted and wanted a nap. She decided to join me, then got bored and started watching Instagram reels blasting the same five seconds of some awful Cardi B "song." She got pissed when I asked her to stop. FML
Today, I was showing my new “smart home” setup to my friends. I said, “Alexa, dim the lights.” Nothing happened. So, louder: “ALEXA, DIM THE LIGHTS.” Still nothing. I kept yelling, getting increasingly dramatic, until one of my friends said, “Bro, your Alexa is unplugged.” FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
"Whose idea was it to download Adele onto our shared Spotify account?"
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BurnInDemonFire 39
"Whose idea was it to download Adele onto our shared Spotify account?"