Love, Relatable, Dating and First Dates: Must've been a good joke

Must've been a good joke

By HAIL SITHIS - 24/07/2015 18:54 - United States

Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said, "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 178

You deserved it 3 263

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 23:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 112

You deserved it 6 347

Facts, feelings…

By Jimbob - 28/09/2020 17:01 - United States - Austin

Today, I went on a first date. It started out OK, but halfway through he began "debating" me, talking just like Ben Shapiro. I thought he was joking, or at least satirising the worst way you could talk during a date. I was wrong; he was serious. I'm still not sure what set him off, but I couldn't get a word in edgeways in after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 193

You deserved it 260

Bitch move

By Ineedtoshutup - 19/08/2021 16:01

Today, I went to the movies with this guy I'd started dating. During the movie, I thought it would be cool and funny to make sarcastic comments. When he dropped me off home, he told me that it was the worst date ever and to not talk to him again for being "annoying and obnoxious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 2 246

First Dates

By Anonymous - 06/06/2014 22:44 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 415

You deserved it 10 168

Let down

By heartbreakkid21 - 14/05/2009 15:22 - United States

Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 178

You deserved it 5 614

By Isitreallythatbad, - 22/12/2013 05:37 - United States

Today, I went to a local bar for a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at my face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 527

You deserved it 3 646

Tonight, on First Dates…

By James C - 18/04/2012 08:48 - United Kingdom - Stoke-on-trent

Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied, "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 294

You deserved it 4 605

By perfectlybrokenx - 24/08/2010 04:21 - Canada

Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 792

You deserved it 52 181

Nice dude

By ThroatSlasher - 17/08/2015 19:20 - United Kingdom - Grimsby

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 987

You deserved it 2 456

Boo! Get better material!

By Anonymous - 22/03/2022 18:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I recently met. He was quite funny throughout our meal, so I came home and told my flatmate all about him and the stories he'd told me. My flatmate said, "Hang on…", pulled out his laptop, and showed me some videos. All my date's jokes were stolen from Ricky Gervais. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 144

Hildy93 21

Saturday 25 July 2015 8:43

Can you do a follow up and tell us the joke??

aliezzo 19

Saturday 25 July 2015 8:36

What an asshole. Screw him he doesn't deserve you op.

Comments

THEGREATKEHOLIO 9

Sunday 26 July 2015 4:33

Keeping telling that joke, it weeds out the assholes.

The_Skittish_One 27

Monday 27 July 2015 1:02

That's brilliant.

YoursAlways98 13

Sunday 26 July 2015 5:09

Please explain the username...

swanheart 35

Sunday 26 July 2015 9:22

I agree. I think we might be saying the same thing but I kinda suck at explaining myself so I wasn't being clear before! :)

Zbiegz12 5

Sunday 26 July 2015 10:56

what was the joke?

susytreydawg 13

Sunday 26 July 2015 11:03

Guys are assholes.

goozeo 11

Sunday 26 July 2015 17:26

Need to hear the joke before I vote!

tygerarmy 35

Sunday 26 July 2015 21:34

"Sweet Mother, sweet Mother, send your child unto me, for the sins of the unworthy must be baptized in blood and fear."

izzytakamono 9

Sunday 26 July 2015 22:57

What was the joke??

ZaHo_fml 12

Monday 27 July 2015 3:29

Well that hurts..

Xandrick 22

Monday 27 July 2015 5:40

He probably hated that you're a member of the Dark Brotherhood. :P Ah but seriously, that sucks, OP. :-(

Keywords

Gamers Love Video games Gross Weird Health First Dates Smells Technology Parents Kids Annoying Jealousy Animals Dogs AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Gun control Relatable Money Amazon Birthday Cute Awkward Abuse Scams Social Media

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 37 411

You deserved it 8 930

Today, my crush let me know that he has a prom date. Obviously I'm supportive because I just want him to be happy, even if it's not me. I casually let him know that I'm going with someone else too, and now he's really mad about it. If he'd asked me before, I would've said yes. Like… Hello? How dare I get a prom date! FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 96

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 51 861

You deserved it 20 927

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I agree, your life sucks 1 557

You deserved it 247

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I agree, your life sucks 38 554

You deserved it 14 958

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I agree, your life sucks 28 184

You deserved it 47 587

Today, one of my worst nightmares as an overweight woman came true. My boyfriend showed me a video someone had recorded of us exercising together, and who was mocking my weight the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 114

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I agree, your life sucks 1 574

You deserved it 147

Same thing different taste

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