Today, I tried to impress coworkers by saying I “don’t really watch TV” because I mostly read books. Unfortunately, someone immediately asked what I’d been reading lately, and the only honest answer was celebrity memoirs and conspiracy theory forum posts online at 2 a.m. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I joined a conversation about a TV show at work, agreeing enthusiastically. After a few minutes, I realized they were talking about a completely different show with a similar name. I nodded along, trapped, hoping no one asked questions. FML
Today, I was in the middle of enjoying a really good book while in a waiting room. Someone saw what I was reading and thought it would be cool if she leaned over and told me everything that happens. FML
Today, I'd booked a day off work so I could sit and read books all day. I told my wife this, and her response was basically, "Well since you're at home not doing anything important, here’s a list of jobs that need doing." I wasn’t aware enjoying reading counted as doing nothing important. FML
Today, I finally got an interview for the job I want. The interviewer looked at my resumé and asked, "So, what have you been doing for the past 10 years?" I guess binge-watching Netflix wasn't the right answer. FML
Today, my coworker told everyone on staff that I’m a stuck up bitch because I stared blankly at her when she tried to talk to me. I tried to listen, but I zoned out after she rambled on endlessly about the Kardashians and Kanye West. FML
Today, my parents told me off for reading, as opposed to watching TV like the rest of the family, because it was "anti-social". FML
Today, my mom asked me if I had any plans to go out tonight. To divert attention, I pretended to be angry and accused her of prying into my social life. Actually, I have no social life and nobody to go out with. My only "big plans" were to finish my Sudoku book. FML
Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML
Today, I made the mistake of saying “I actually liked the ending” during a conversation about a famously hated TV finale. Three people turned towards me like I’d confessed to a crime. One guy spent ten minutes explaining why my opinion proved “everything wrong with modern audiences.” I'd never even met him before. FML
Today, I confidently answered a question in a meeting, only to realize everyone was staring at me because I’d misunderstood it completely. My boss gently rephrased it while I nodded like that was my point all along. It absolutely wasn’t. FML
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Top comments
tiptoppc 19
Technically reading anything is still reading. The idea is to feed your brain new info and think about said info
tiptoppc 19
Thanks to you, I realized I hadn’t read a book lately. So i ended up picking up a book called “ the autistic burnout”. Not something I normally would read, but very helpful. I suggest going to a library, find a section outside your interest, pick any book at random, read the first chapter. Don’t like it? Repeat with another topic till you enjoy it. Worst case scenario you learned something new. Best case, you learn a new hobby and can quote random facts next time. It’s better to let those around you believe you are a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
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Comments (2)
tiptoppc 19
Technically reading anything is still reading. The idea is to feed your brain new info and think about said info
tiptoppc 19
Thanks to you, I realized I hadn’t read a book lately. So i ended up picking up a book called “ the autistic burnout”. Not something I normally would read, but very helpful. I suggest going to a library, find a section outside your interest, pick any book at random, read the first chapter. Don’t like it? Repeat with another topic till you enjoy it. Worst case scenario you learned something new. Best case, you learn a new hobby and can quote random facts next time. It’s better to let those around you believe you are a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.