Work: I am a lineman for the countyyyyyy… - FML

I am a lineman for the countyyyyyy…

By Anon - 13/03/2014 00:11 - United States - Greensburg

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 643

You deserved it 3 691

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Unforgettable

By Anonymous - 25/10/2019 12:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, it was my first day of work at my new job. I got dressed and arrived early, only to find out that the store had closed due to a power outage. Then I found out that the person who'd hired me had totally forgotten about hiring me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 115

By jobless - 06/11/2014 02:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, for the first time since I can remember, I went in to work feeling positive, and that I could make good things happen. At the end of the day, my employment was terminated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 028

You deserved it 3 231

By :( - 06/06/2013 23:37 - United States

Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 897

You deserved it 4 749

By TacoMan32 - 06/12/2016 04:26 - Canada

Today, after months of unemployment, I finally started at a new job. The building burnt down on my very first shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 170

You deserved it 632

By Anonymous - 26/10/2010 00:22 - United States

Today, I went to my first day of work in over 2 years. As I approached the boss, he asked me what my name was. Turned out they hired the wrong person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 631

You deserved it 2 377

Toxic workplace goals!

By Anonymous - 22/04/2013 23:37 - Australia - Mona Vale

Today, I walked out of a job interview feeling confident because I'd really hit it off with the interviewer. He called me an hour later to tell me that I didn't get the job, since he was afraid we'd "get along too well and never get any work done." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 832

You deserved it 3 735

By piece of crap car - 04/01/2017 06:27 - United States - Portland

Today, I was supposed to start my first day of work at my dream job. However, my car had other plans and refused to start. When I called my boss to tell him I was going to be late, he told me not to come in at all and fired me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 824

You deserved it 1 045

Suck up

By Anonymous - 22/08/2015 06:58 - United States - Cadillac

Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 791

You deserved it 3 416

Unnerved

By Greenskies - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - France - Corneilla-del-vercol

Today, I was talking to my boss at the end of an awesome internship. He said he was really satisfied with my work, and that he had considered hiring me. Turns out he decided not to because I smile too much, and it freaks him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 976

You deserved it 1 993

By Anonymous - 07/05/2014 20:57 - India - Kundan

Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 425

You deserved it 3 515

Next

Top comments

theonecasey 27

Thursday 13 March 2014 7:40

Be safe!

ThatFancyPenn 18

Thursday 13 March 2014 7:41

"On another note, welcome to the crew!"

Comments

BubbaKahuna 3

Thursday 13 March 2014 15:29

Just a coincidence I'm sure.

cbroady0529 9

Thursday 13 March 2014 15:53

I hate supervisors who interject humor into the workplace.

shannonchelsey 7

Thursday 13 March 2014 16:04

Are you dead yet, though?

cwl727 32

Thursday 13 March 2014 16:16

Be safe!

ipierson 5

Thursday 13 March 2014 16:34

Ha. You're gonna die!!!

FYoLifeLol 10

Thursday 13 March 2014 17:12

Sounds like Louis from Left 4 Dead.

martin8337 35

Thursday 13 March 2014 18:23

Shocking.

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 13 March 2014 19:13

May the odds be ever in your favor It doesn't mean you'll die as the other did...

zahidnasir 22

Thursday 13 March 2014 19:22

new boss coming soon

ryan1268 18

Thursday 13 March 2014 19:43

may the odds be ever in your favor!

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Keywords

Growing old Health Relatable Mental health Periods Embarrassing Job interview Awkward Work Education Social Media Love Stalker Instagram Spiders Ironic Animals Phobias Ecology Bikes Transportation Weird Parents Confused Kids Drunk AITA Poopoo peepee Facebook Geek

The Top

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said, "You know? I like little girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 359

You deserved it 61 100

Today, one of my co-workers, who I secretly hate, announced she and her husband were expecting. She's rather big. Without thinking, I said, "How did he manage to find your vag under those fat rolls?" I got placed on suspension and now have to attend a training on sexual harassment in the workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 3 729

The Top

Today, I had an important appointment for a job. During the interview, my cellphone rang. My ringtone is "Denver, the last Dinosaur". FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 189

You deserved it 31 805

Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 952

You deserved it 7 318

Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 815

You deserved it 1 283

Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 780

You deserved it 23 757

Today, I asked my daughter what time it was. She stared at the clock for several seconds before muttering, "I don't know". She's 14 years old and on the honour roll, and yet she can't tell the time on an analogue clock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 954

You deserved it 12 873

Today, I went to a restaurant that I always go to, and one of the cute waiters gave me a discount. My mother called me a whore in the middle of the restaurant, then slapped me when I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 535

You deserved it 376