Today, I taught my dog to "give me his paw" as a cute trick. Now he won’t stop doing it. Anytime I try to eat, work, or sit down, I’m ambushed by a very proud dog pawing at my leg for treats. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was excited to teach my new puppy how to fetch. I threw the stick, and he just stared at it, then stared back at me with his tongue lolling out, as if to say, "You threw it. You go get it." I’ve now spent the past 30 minutes fetching my own stick, hoping he'd join in. Nope. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, I thought it would be cute to teach my dog a new trick in which I throw and then he brings me back a rolled up newspaper. He disappeared after it, then successfully returned with what turned out to be my neighbor's dirty boxer shorts. Apparently, my dog has a different definition of "fetch." FML
Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML
Today, one of the dogs I’m walking stops to sniff something, then raises his leg to pee on it. The other dog, wanting to sniff that same spot, then goes and sticks his head right under his buddy’s raised leg. FML
Today, my dog celebrated my coming home by slapping me in the junk repeatedly with his tail. FML
Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML
Today, my medium-sized poxer dog was sitting on my lap. He shook his head, managing to slap me in the face with his ears three times. FML
Today, I discovered that one of my dogs has taken a liking to rolling over his own poop. I found out by petting him. FML
Today, after a serious argument with my friend about how his dog seems to hate me for no reason, I decided that it's my responsibility to show his dog that I mean no harm. I started off by giving him his favorite treat. He got excited and practically inhaled it… then started barking at me again. FML
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Top comments
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Sounds like the dog has trained you.
Wadlaen 24
I'd assume that when the treats stop coming, he'll stop doing it.
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Comments (3)
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Sounds like the dog has trained you.
Wadlaen 24
I'd assume that when the treats stop coming, he'll stop doing it.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
When you train a dog to do something you have to add a command word or gesture to it (both preferably). Never treat a dog for throwing behaviours at you in the hope of a treat. The dog needs to learn that the order is command >> behaviour >> reward (a treat or a hug or a "good boy")