Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I spilled a bottle of honey on the floor while preparing breakfast. As I frantically tried to clean it up, my cat deemed it the perfect opportunity to slide and pad through the sticky mess like a slip-n-slide. Now, I have a honey-coated cat, a ruined floor, and a sticky mess to clean up before my roommates get home. FML
Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
Today, my cat peed on the kitchen floor. As I went to get the mop, I slipped on the puddle not once, not twice, but three times. In quick succession. FML
Today, after cleaning my house, I decided to treat myself with a glass of wine. I poured the wine, set it down, and came back just in time to see my cat push it off the table. I then yelled at her, which scared her so much she pissed on the carpet. FML
Today, while working in my shop, I was mopping the floor. A customer saw what I was doing, grabbed a bottle of Coca-Cola from the shelf, and poured it all over the floor where I had just finished mopping. FML
Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML
Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML
Today, my cat threw up on the floor while I was taking a nap. I woke up, still groggy from the nap, and walked over to the bathroom. Not only did I slip on the vomit, spreading it all over the floor and myself, I think I somehow broke a toe in the process. FML
Today, while walking through my living room, I slipped and nearly fell, narrowly avoiding hitting my head against a nearby door jamb. What did I slip on, you ask? A single cat treat. FML
Today, I noticed a spot of water on the floor. I thought my cats had spilled a cup of water and didn't worry about it. I went to a meeting and when I came back, my entire apartment was flooded with 3 inches of water. FML
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Top comments
ceilingfans 1
My fat ass cats would drink it.
UrLyfSuxx 0
Just like the cartoons.
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Comments (118)
SquashedSpider7 0
Gods way of saying it wasnt clean enough. lol
starfish7 18
At least it wasn't on the carpet!
firemedic919 0
a shotgun works well and cheaper than cats. just a thought.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Because cats are meant for protection, like dogs./sarcasm
ThatOneCanadian 0
64, why would op have a random can of paint open in the middle of a room while shes cleaning
hinchkongfang 0
Sounds like you have a sticky pussy!!
Valy_fml 5
That's too funny as long as it doesn't get on the carpet
IRemainNameless 12
Freaking cats. That doesn't surprise me in the slightest! :P
coreywimsatt 0
You right you suck.
auddylynne 0
I hate cats. Love dogs though.
LindseyLunatic 8
i was going to make a witty comment about cats and how evil they are.. but my cat came up and walked across my keyboard.. and now she's beside me watching my type.. so i must say this: cats are the most fantastic creatures in the world. .. after all, she knows where i sleep at night o.O
False_Stupidity 42
Well, we know who's in charge at your house now.. Like the saying goes: dogs have owners, cats have staff.