By Louis - France - Saint-jean-de-braye FML's Who's Responsible…? Can you work out who dunnit? 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I worked construction building a hotel. I was taking out the trash when I suddenly felt an extreme urge to poop. I ran into one of the rooms and found an empty cardboard box to poop into. Finished, I closed the box and made my way to the door. I then saw my boss staring at me from the closet. FML I agree, your life sucks 2655 You deserved it 4446 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Single Sally - United States - Brandon For what occasion Today, my boyfriend of five years finally gave me "a ring." Oh no, not an "engagement ring." He gave me a "ring to apologize for sleeping with his married coworker." FML I agree, your life sucks 2403 You deserved it 167 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shakira, when the walls fell - Canada Today, thanks to pregnancy hormones, I cried my eyes out for hours over the guy who dumped me 9 years ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 24456 You deserved it 2942 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By momaaa1342 - United States - Elmwood Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML I agree, your life sucks 46550 You deserved it 3582 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By I_Am_The_Edge - United States Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML I agree, your life sucks 68570 You deserved it 863434 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CassafrasSss - United States - Naperville Today, after months of hard work, planning, and preparation, I held the reception for my first art show at a gallery. Nobody showed up. FML I agree, your life sucks 8713 You deserved it 690 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Briana Bettis Don't dip your pen in company ink, etc. Today, after 2 years of searching, I finally have a job that I love. Now I'm probably going to lose it because I started having sex with one of my managers, and our coworkers are starting to catch on. They caught on pretty much the day I told him that we should stop having sex so we wouldn't lose our jobs. FML I agree, your life sucks 516 You deserved it 3065 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chronic Today, I'm on opioids due to severe pelvic pain. Taking them makes me constipated and increases my pain, which leads to taking more painkillers. I can choose to be in agony and the possibility of pooping, or be in slightly less pain and completely bunged up. FML I agree, your life sucks 4816 You deserved it 450 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Crotch_Rocket_Rider - United States Today, when approaching a stop light on my motorcycle, I went to extend my left leg as usual to balance when stopped. Apparently my shoelace loop got wrapped around the shift lever and "tied" my shoe to the bike. It's hard to look cool when you fall over for no apparent reason at a stoplight. FML I agree, your life sucks 37594 You deserved it 7696 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, a stranger at the grocery store rubbed my belly and asked me when I'm due. I'm not pregnant. FML I agree, your life sucks 1418 You deserved it 231 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ApparentlyEmo - United States Today, my mom called asking for advice on how to flirt with her personal trainer. I thought she was joking and asked her what Dad would think. Turns out they're getting divorced. They decided this three weeks ago. No one told me. FML I agree, your life sucks 31684 You deserved it 2074 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mj - United States Today, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. She'd actually started dating another man a few months ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through. FML I agree, your life sucks 47217 You deserved it 3354 149 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Some people are just lazy Today, while working, I saw a man napping under a tree. He was still there 3 hours later. Turns out he was dead. FML I agree, your life sucks 4659 You deserved it 305 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I put on my "fat jeans" because none of my other jeans fit. Neither do my fat jeans. FML I agree, your life sucks 27822 You deserved it 46551 145 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mem - Sweden - Hudiksvall Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML I agree, your life sucks 47096 You deserved it 5279 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dtack2tack - United States Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me with his boss so he could get a promotion and "provide" for us. This from the guy who made me quit my job because he said he made enough money to support us both. FML I agree, your life sucks 28602 You deserved it 3791 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By boo8713 - United States - Bell Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML I agree, your life sucks 30362 You deserved it 2849 184 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jocelyn Today, I got stressed and well, let's just say I got carried away, pulled off most of my eyelashes on one eye, and now I have to find falsies that look real. FML I agree, your life sucks 1219 You deserved it 1697 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kennarama - United States Today, I sat a client down for his haircut. He pulled off his hat and his hair was dripping wet. I asked him if he had just washed it. He responded, "No, but isn't it a hot day out?" No, it's twenty degrees and overcast today. FML I agree, your life sucks 29503 You deserved it 2529 193 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anna L. - United States - San Antonio Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML I agree, your life sucks 36079 You deserved it 6538 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Hungary - Szeged Today, while at church, I received a text from my girlfriend, saying, "It's not working. We're over." Not only was my phone not on silent mode, I was sitting directly beside my now ex-girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 37814 You deserved it 4489 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cmendez - United States Today, my mother who is 75 years old just told me and my sister that we are adopted. I'm 45 years old and my sister is 49. FML I agree, your life sucks 32760 You deserved it 2288 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ironyisabitch - United States - Rohnert Park Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML I agree, your life sucks 42180 You deserved it 3057 246 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fartypants - United States - Winter Park Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML I agree, your life sucks 32983 You deserved it 4386 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, while out with my family, I happened to run into "the one who got away." She smilingly introduced herself to my wife, who definitely noticed that she and our daughter share the same name. FML I agree, your life sucks 3563 You deserved it 7838 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By xXshitface4uXx - New Zealand - Rotorua Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML I agree, your life sucks 47743 You deserved it 9075 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lovely321 - United States Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML I agree, your life sucks 18662 You deserved it 49924 210 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - France Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML I agree, your life sucks 47505 You deserved it 4343 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anon - United States Today, I messaged my sister on Facebook chat. We always start our conversations with "HEY SLUT" or "HEY WHORE" etc. It wasn't my sister. However, her boyfriend's mom has a great first impression of me. FML I agree, your life sucks 11037 You deserved it 27037 135 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nopenopenopenope - United States - Winston Salem Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 10603 You deserved it 2433 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By aunty_social Today, I took my 5-year-old nephew camping. I was about to take him to the outhouse for a bathroom break when he flung the door of the camper open and shouted at the top of his lungs to the entire campground, "We are going to poop now!" FML I agree, your life sucks 2222 You deserved it 296 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RingAroundThe..SPLAT - United States - Washington Today, my girlfriend confessed that she was scared that she was more in love with me than I in her, and that she was afraid I would leave her. So she left me instead. I'd been thinking about proposing. FML I agree, your life sucks 37842 You deserved it 2862 151 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I find myself in an unfortunate situation. I met my girlfriend's family and it turns out she's the baby of the family with 7 older brothers, a dad and a granddad, and 6 uncles. That’s 15 very large, very overprotective men I’m sure all want me dead. FML I agree, your life sucks 1938 You deserved it 300 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Bristol Global stinking Today, my boyfriend told me he thinks brushing his teeth and doing anything basically hygienic is unnecessary now, because, "we're all going to die out around about 2050 anyway." FML I agree, your life sucks 1476 You deserved it 151 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jesuscrip - United States - Orrville Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I saw a woman in her late thirties pull out some hair and put it in her food, then threaten to sue me and the restaurant. She also told me no one would believe me, a teenager, when I told her I saw her put it there. FML I agree, your life sucks 23646 You deserved it 1442 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I sat down on a chair after my very large boss sat on it all day. When I got up, my pants were damp. FML I agree, your life sucks 27969 You deserved it 2735 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jobless - United States Today, I had a phone interview with my potential new boss. I was getting excited about the prospects of landing a great job. I had nailed every question the man asked me and right after he told me he'll call me tomorrow if he wants me to come in I sweetly said, "Talk to you tomorrow, Love you" FML I agree, your life sucks 25304 You deserved it 58228 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bieberyoulittleSHIT - United Kingdom - Goole Today, I was playing some CoD online, when I realised I'd started humming an annoyingly catchy Bieber tune. Before I could come to my senses and pull out my mic, a bunch of my teammates started sarcastically singing along. FML I agree, your life sucks 8572 You deserved it 29465 203 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, my grandma got piss drunk off two glasses of wine and kept telling me how I'm "so... ROUND...!" FML I agree, your life sucks 19996 You deserved it 2400 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Brooklyn Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML I agree, your life sucks 31266 You deserved it 17521 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Talented73 | 54 #7444436 - Wednesday 26 April 2017 1:36 More silliness, lol. Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By redlizzybeth | 24 #7444474 - Wednesday 26 April 2017 5:10 the boat man, the boat! Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By Talented73 | 54 #7444436 - Wednesday 26 April 2017 1:36 More silliness, lol. Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By redlizzybeth | 24 #7444474 - Wednesday 26 April 2017 5:10 the boat man, the boat! Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, I wore leggings without underwear. When I got in the car after a busy shopping day, I realized that my pubes had poked through the fabric and my... I agree, your life sucks 58 You deserved it 178 2 Comments
Today, I got home from work a few hours early to find my mum cheating, right in the middle of the act. So much for a nice afternoon off. FML I agree, your life sucks 836 You deserved it 64 4 Comments