Miscellaneous: Don't come around here no more - FML

Don't come around here no more

By Anonymous - 19/02/2010 03:06 - United States

Today, I got banned from my boyfriend's house for being an "insurance liability." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 060

You deserved it 4 311

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Same thing different taste

By iliketoastalot - 09/08/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 627

You deserved it 5 904

By teea - 15/11/2012 23:34 - Australia - Saint Lucia

Today, my boyfriend and I cleaned his parents' whole house while they were out, just to be nice. When they came home, they assumed we only did it because we'd made some huge mess that we needed to hide. I'm now banned from their house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 464

You deserved it 2 565

Drunk dick

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 20:00

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 840

You deserved it 175

Secretive

By whattheHellman - 23/10/2022 09:00 - Australia - Traralgon

Today, my boyfriend starting going off on me, calling me a psycho, all because I opened our bedroom door while he was in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 121

By shadow - 26/12/2017 08:00 - United States - Osceola

Today, my mother-in-law told my fiancé that I had to leave and wasn’t allowed to live there anymore. I own the house. She’s mad because I locked the door so she couldn't walk in anytime she wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 917

You deserved it 349

Sneaky

By TasedAndDazed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 615

You deserved it 43 640

Trust

By Anonymous - 31/03/2016 23:43 - United Kingdom - Broseley

Today, my boyfriend's parents decided that I was untrustworthy and that if they ever saw him with me he'd be heavily punished. They're travelling hundreds of miles just to make sure he stays in the house and doesn't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 751

You deserved it 1 545

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 195

You deserved it 3 103

By mysterygurll1234567 - 20/01/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I was fired from my job. The reason? My boss didn't feel comfortable paying his son's girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 753

You deserved it 3 710

By kenz - 06/12/2010 08:18 - United States

Today, I returned from a week-long vacation. My landlord told me he had let my boyfriend in my apartment to get something. I don't have a boyfriend. Everything in my apartment is gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 405

You deserved it 2 555

Next

Top comments

metalmusic 0

Friday 19 February 2010 9:28

Hate to bring this up, but... is your name Bella?

zuuzuu_fml 0

Friday 19 February 2010 9:15

how does that work??

Comments

metalmusic 0

Friday 19 February 2010 9:28

Hate to bring this up, but... is your name Bella?

nutcrackers 2

Friday 19 February 2010 15:23

lol

iamghostbad 0

Friday 19 February 2010 9:31

@metalmusic. -_- I hate you.

VeryNice329 0

Friday 19 February 2010 9:33

are you insanely klutzy?

Goople 0

Friday 19 February 2010 9:37

I think its because OP is a Gecko...

69Kitty 4

Friday 19 February 2010 19:41

That gecko saved me hundreds of dollars on insurance XD

Callyn 47

Friday 19 February 2010 9:41

There is a story behind this. If you aren't willing to share the story, don't put the storyhook out there. I will refrain from voting until you tell the story, but I bet that it's your fault since you are reluctant to tell others what happened.

null_fml 11

Friday 19 February 2010 9:51

^ This, except I voted YDI for that reason.

expen_dable 0

Friday 19 February 2010 10:03

You need a new hobby...

containsnosoy 0

Friday 19 February 2010 9:53

Take a hint, you crazy lady. I agree with #25, but like #29 I voted YDI.

iamghostbad 0

Friday 19 February 2010 9:56

what does that have to do with it?

Coccinelle_fml 15

Friday 19 February 2010 10:14

Am I stupid? i dont get this FML at all

wthcharles 0

Friday 19 February 2010 10:33

rofl. Did you try to burn his house down or something?

maskedman 9

Friday 19 February 2010 10:33

I wonder if the Winslows could've gotten Steve Urkel banned from their house for being an insurance liability.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I asked a girl at work out, who'd claimed she was single. Not ten minutes later, our boss fired me. Turns out that girl is actually his side chick he cheats on his wife with, even though she’s 19 and he’s 48. Not illegal, just scummy as hell, and he fired me out of jealousy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 100

Today, my best friend’s girlfriend took his phone and blocked me on Facebook, all because I wrote him a heartfelt Happy Birthday message on his wall. I found out because he messaged me from another account explaining what happened. She refuses to understand that we’re strictly platonic friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 141

The Top

Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 691

You deserved it 3 076

Today, I was coming home from a date, I saw my ex standing in my drive-way. He had dumped me 2 months ago saying he couldn't talk me. To make him jealous, I made out with my new guy before greeting him. Turns out he couldn't talk to me because he had had cancer and had been afraid to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 252

You deserved it 79 312

Today, I logged on to Facebook to find that my boyfriend's relationship status had changed to in a relationship with his ex. I asked him about it, and all he said was, "I guess I forgot to break up with you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 099

You deserved it 2 783

Today, my family got together to read my grandpa's will. He gave all of his grandkids $400 each. Except me. It seems he thought I'd see the funny side in being bequeathed a blow-up sex doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 712

You deserved it 5 172

Today, after I bought a bedframe a few days ago that was up for sale with a sign next to it that said "The best you can ever find! Very supportive and stable!" guess what happened? It shattered into small splinters. I’m literally underweight, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 110

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 515

You deserved it 1 905