Today, I bought some crickets as a treat for my lizard. One escaped and somehow got into the heating system in my room. The chirping is amplified and comes from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Goodbye, restful sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML
Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML
Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML
Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML
Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML
Today, at 2 in the morning, a noisy work crew started up in the parking lot next to my apartment. What were they doing at that ungodly hour? Installing a light that now shines right into my window. FML
Today, while trying to open the packaging to my new headphones, I got startled by my cat suddenly meowing, and cut through the headphone wire. FML
Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML
Today, I was talking with a very attractive coworker outside when a moth flew into my ear. I started screaming and hitting my ear because it was stuck and alive in my ear. I spent the rest of the day at the ER. I'm forever known as The Moth Lady. FML
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Top comments
stupidface15 16
at least if theres an awkward silence there will be proper sound effects
Divia1 9
It will die soon and dry up quickly, don't worry. I absolutely despise crickets. if you want to treat your lizard get him hornworms or Phoenix Worms.
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Comments (69)
zarosian 17
FYL OP hope you figure out a way to stop the sound.
mastamouse 12
Time to burn the house fown
GodPart2 20
I just got a picture of Jiminy Cricket wearing his top hat, umbrella in hand, laughing away at OP from inside the heating system...
CHUBBYninja 18
Turn the heat up high. Let it cook up there.
asnakelovinbabe 16
It will be dead within a week or two. Lifespan of house crickets (acheta domesticus, the species propagated worldwide for pet food and in eastern countries, human food!) is only 2-3 months tops, and much of that life was already spent as a wingless juvenile. If it is chirping, it is an adult cricket, and it doesn't have much time left. Add that to the fact that is was raised as a pet store cricket which are generally underfed and overcrowded.... It will be dead before you know it. The suggestion of turning up the heat would likely work well.
TheAbstract 15
It disturbs me how vast your knowledge of crickets is.
\ 28
#46 Are you an entomologist?
asnakelovinbabe 16
Nope, I am just a reptile and insect enthusiast. I have a pretty good knowledge of that kind of stuff, but I do not have a degree in either entomology or herpetology. I don't study them scientifically, I just keep them on a professional level and do a lot of reading. I am an artist by trade, the reptiles and bugs are just my passions. I have bred thousands of crickets and other feeder insects for my reptiles, so the whole knowing way too much about crickets kind of just comes with that. In my family/friend circle I am definitely "that person" that you can always count on to deliver useless facts. :) 71, I lol'ed, and so did my husband, because even I was disturbed by that after I re-read my comment!
twiztedone 19
Turn the AC on! The colder it gets the quieter they are! Heat makes them louder, it's the natural hibernation and body heat cycle.
incoherentrmblr 22
You'll get used to it and you'll fall asleep in due time. The only problem is once you get use to it, will you need it in the background all the time...
Cass_x 22
Ear plugs? Idk if those really work.. Just an idea :/ fyl!
daisylokes 16
did you know that if you record them and slow down the recording afterwards, they sound like angels singing, i swear! google it, if you dont believe me. Gods cricket choir :)
Ololo_fml 16
Chirp, chirp!
stupidface15 16
at least if theres an awkward silence there will be proper sound effects
ChenEighty 20
Just listen to your house next time someone makes a terrible pun on here.
schhichick 14
Are the sound effects coming from your conscience, Pinochio?
Divia1 9
It will die soon and dry up quickly, don't worry. I absolutely despise crickets. if you want to treat your lizard get him hornworms or Phoenix Worms.
asnakelovinbabe 16
Agreed... Crickets alone are rather nutritionally poor anyways and are good parasite vectors. The hornworms are great if your lizard is big enough to eat them. Phoenix worms, super worms, several species of roach, etc.... If you want something similar sized to crickets, you can now buy Turkish roaches as feeders, and you can even buy them frozen. My lizards all readily eat them off the tongs, even dead like that.
Adam5858 17
How do know all that!?
teotsi 28
Uh, he has a lizard? Just a wild wild guess...
asnakelovinbabe 16
If you were asking me, 54, I have been a part of the reptile industry for over 10 years now and it's just kind of.... my "thing".
GraceyBlueEyes 13
Shame that in Aus crickets, woodies, and meal worms are all that's commercially available. Silk worms are seasonally available but very expensive. Now they are available my dragon is brumating.
Divia1 9
You can get Phoenix Worms/hornworms online. I live in Newfoundland. We order feeders from the states by the thousands for our beardies. Roaches are illegal here, non-native pest species. Also, you can actually get horn worms small enough for any lizard online!
ckirksey 11
Spray raid?
turtles4life 24
I was thinking that, then realized it's probably pretty flammable. Best not to put it in/around the heating system.
184886837272837 32
Raid is also very toxic to humans and putting it in your heating system and having it dispersed through your house is just a bad idea
asnakelovinbabe 16
Turning up the heat for a few hours should be plenty. No need to fumigate your whole family with neurotoxins!!!
underthesea12 24
let your lizard take care of it
SkittlesGoRawr 19
That's not the best idea, the lizard might end up camping out in the heating system and never coming out.
cestjoliee 3
If it's a heating system, try burning it?
184886837272837 32
I don't know about OP but where I live the last thing I want to do these days is turn the heat up
kscogin55 12
Time to call the exterminator... Or maybe try to use it as a peaceful sound to fall asleep to. I'm used to sleeping in silence and I hate the ticking sound my clock makes, but I just learn to tune it out. Might not be super helpful but worth a shot :/
Psychicgirl17 18
an exterminator for one little cricket? sounds kinda extreme
asnakelovinbabe 16
An exterminator, a $100 plus bill, for one 5 cent cricket that will be dead by the end of the week. Lol!!!
Adam5858 17
Play music as loud as you can and it will be soon jumping out of there