Nearly FMLs

By lezbehonestgirls - 09/02/2016 23:12 - United States - Denton

Today, not only did I realize how lonely I was by the fact that I've been single for over 4 years, but now even my dog refuses to cuddle with me FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By NightmareIssac - 09/02/2016 23:02 - United States - New Haven

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years surprised me with breaking up with me. While I was picking her up. I was going to surprise her with a vacation. TO JAPAN. Lets just say I'm looking for a friend to go with me.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By CRINGE - 09/02/2016 22:59 - United States - Hoffman Estates

Today, at my grandparents house, I went on their computer in their office. As I opened a new tap, there were suggested sites according to their recent history. All of the sites were porn. I know they aren't my grandmas so they have to be my grandpas. I'll never look at him the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Ramb0 - 09/02/2016 22:54 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I took my brown Labrador to the vets for a regular check up. When I went to pick him up later he magically turned into a brown poodle. Where's my dog gone? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By why - 09/02/2016 22:51 - Canada - Toronto

Today, in class, I closed my eyes for a split second, and when I opened them, my teacher's butt was in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Nightingale1429 - 09/02/2016 22:44 - United States

Today, I was watching a documentary about life on a horse farm with my gf (whom loves horses) and in this scene they were preparing the horses for breeding. They lifted the mare's tail and I immediately got a boner. She was laying on my lap, and said, "... Really?". She knows I'm a brony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By antinomians - 09/02/2016 22:41 - United States - Denver

Today, my girlfriend did not realize how disgusting it is to pick her boogers and eat them. She's 19. I almost threw up. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By dancetastrophy - 09/02/2016 22:23 - United States - Glenview

Today, two days away from the premier of a show I'm in, I was notified that the person checking dance mixes just got around to mine. Half of my dance was ruled "inappropriate for our smaller audience", and I may be cut from the show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By cosmic_peanut - 09/02/2016 22:18 - Greece

Today, on the national Internet safety day I manage to infect my laptop with a virus which firmly deleted everything on it , including my finals assignment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Angry Type-1 Diabetic - 09/02/2016 22:18 - United States - Klamath Falls

Today, I went to pick up my prescription for my insulin. The pharmacist said that there were no refills left on file. I called it in on Saturday and now I'm all out. Why is insulin not an automatic refill? Looks like I'm not eating dinner tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By TheLynx - 09/02/2016 22:15 - United States - Fairfax Station

Today, I found out my crush is dating my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 3

By darkfairy2016 - 09/02/2016 22:14 - United States - Boston

Today, my daughter caught me and my wife humping each other. I think I just scared her for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 09/02/2016 22:12 - United States - Chicago

Today, in the silence of class, my stomach growled and sounded remarkably like a fart. At the same time, someone let out a silent but deadly near me. Everyone looked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 09/02/2016 22:09 - United States - East Hartford

Today, the smartest, funniest, prettiest girl I'll probably ever be with broke up with me. On our anniversary. Right before Valentine's Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By nonewfackboys - 09/02/2016 22:00 - Germany

Today, I was walking down a corrador and a kid walked out of the bathroom with his dick half way out of his pants, he turned around and walked right into me. Might as well burn my favorite shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By robcom263 - 09/02/2016 21:58 - United States - Mooresville

Today, I was at school and I had this little silver tin with about 30 mints in the container a teacher saw the mints thinking they were pills and told the office, I had to go up their so that they could search my bag and find out that they were mints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 09/02/2016 21:52 - United States - Winona

Today at work, I fell asleep because my five year old daughter kept me up last night. My boss happened to walk by and fire me, even though it was my first f**k up at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sad and broke - 09/02/2016 21:49 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo

Today, im so broke i had to decide between paying the electric or the water bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Melissa_Rox - 09/02/2016 21:41 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I asked my mom for a wallet she said no she needs to save money. That same day she bought my sister a bag. The bag was $10,000. The wallet was $30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 09/02/2016 21:39 - United States - Union City

Today, I just recently got back from visiting my parents to find my wife and her cousin having sex. When I walked in on them, they stopped for about a good second, then continued. Apparently, I'm the one to blame for not being home all the time to check on her and the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By humus wipe - 09/02/2016 21:38 - United States - Excelsior

Today, my best friend picked up a huge glob of humus and wiped it all over me. This is after she yelled at me for lightly bumping her hand into humus, getting the tiniest amount on her fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By istheaar_on - 09/02/2016 21:36 - Italy - Padua

Today, I got off work and came home to my pregnant wife. we had sex, ate, watched a movie together and cuddled. right before we go to sleep, I open FML for a minute to get some final giggles." youre not paying attention to me, get your priorities straight" she says. Now she won't talk to me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Chewie94 - 09/02/2016 21:33 - United States

Today, I was sitting and drinking a glass of water. I walked to the other room and when I came back, there was a pube in my cup. I've been alone all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By 18mpavli - 09/02/2016 21:07 - United States - Blair

Today, I went to pick up an old lady in the nursing home I work at for supper in the dining room. She always hits on me for my looks. I knocked on her door and she said to come in to her room. She shut the door behind me and was completely naked. She ran towards me. I am scared for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By yepthisisit - 09/02/2016 21:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I couldn't get a ride home. So, I had to walk almost two miles with only a hoodie to keep me warm. Did I mention that it's only 6°F outside? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By AccidentalKiss - 09/02/2016 20:44 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for dinner. I had finished a full glass of wine before I realised there was a lipstick mark where my lips had touched the glass. I wasn't wearing lipstick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By dada-drama - 09/02/2016 20:42 - United States - Alhambra

Today, my father-in-law also, became my stepdad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ReComatosed242 - 09/02/2016 20:31 - Bahamas - Nassau

Today, my co-worker and I got into an argument over who's a better worker, the argument ended with him threatening me to roll my balls with a paint roller until they look like "fresh popping doughs", I'm scared now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 09/02/2016 20:31 - France - Clermont-ferrand

Today, my mum met my black boyfriend for the first time. They got along great, but when he left she said that I couldn't see home any more. Her reason? He's black. She's still insisting that this isn't racist.FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Wraith09 - 09/02/2016 20:20 - Canada - Holland Landing

Today, my boss took analysis report, added some colours and animated GIF's, and presented it at a mangers meeting as hers. She got a round of applause and kudos for well thought out presentation. The same report I presented last month, without the colours and GIF's, to blank stares and silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I started noticing how unnecessarily hard it is to get a basic job such as a cashier or server, even though you already have experience in that field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 129

Today, I discovered that "team building exercise" really means free labor with no snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 81

Today, at Starbucks, I was sat next to a father and son where the son told his dad he wanted to meet in a public place for his own safety, because he had to tell him he’d gotten his half-sister pregnant. It might not sound like my FML but in the fist fight that followed they smashed my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 500

You deserved it 129

Today, I was running late for work and, in my rush, spilled coffee all over my shirt. When I finally got to the office, I realized I had forgotten my laptop at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 200

Today, I found out I'm allergic to my wife's new medicated handcream after I came down with a nasty, itchy rash on my chest, stomach, cock, and balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 746

You deserved it 3 005

Today, I was giving my friend sex advice when she asked me when was the last time for me. Not only did I lie but I realized that it was in November and the time before that was June. I have had sex less times this year than she has this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 590

You deserved it 12 091