Nearly FMLs

Godiva giveth and Godiva taketh away

By Loserman67 - 25/08/2017 10:41

Today, I took a rare day off after learning of a Godiva chocolate factory not that far from us. I checked out the website, got the hours, and drove over 25 miles with my wife to get there, only to find out it's for vendors, staff, and their families only. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 170

You deserved it 1 442

loserman67 tells us more.

loserman67 35

Friday 18 August 2017 20:25

OP here - the place is like Fort Knox. Many levels of security but everyone was polite. Tried my best to con our way in but no luck.

By clumsyantha - 25/08/2017 09:21

Today I pulled a shoulder muscle while starting my lawn mower. After mowing the lawn, I went to my freezer to grab an ice pack to soothe my shoulder pain. As I reached to grab the ice pack, I knocked a glass water-filled bottle onto my toe and broke my toe. Now using ice pack for toe instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 9

By i'mscrewed - 25/08/2017 04:57

Today was my last day to purchase Plan B due to an insanely crazy and hectic schedule. For some reason my two nosiest friends decided to tag along and follow me down each aisle. Once I finally escaped from their grasp, I quickly grabbed my item only to find out my debit card is missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 30

By outplayed - 25/08/2017 04:20

Today, my prayers finally came true when my biggest crush actually came to my house. I quickly prettied up and right before I get to answer the door, I saw him leave with my 5 year old sister. They got paired-up at our school's little and big brother/sister campaign and are out on a play-date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 21

By KaD - 25/08/2017 00:35

Today, I got another 30 day ban on Facebook for the same thing they gave me a 30 day ban for 30 days ago, even though I didn't repost. It was about a wanted fugitive who set up a fake charity and is using the money to evade police. This somehow violates the 'community standards'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 25/08/2017 00:28

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex in the shower of a university building where he works and where I study. To cover the sounds he turned on the shower. Just when we were going at it, the steam of the shower set off the fire alarm. The whole building had to be cleared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32

You deserved it 72

By Anonymous - 25/08/2017 00:22 - United States - Lodi

I started a new job last week, I was so excited I celebrated the night before I drank so much I was late for my first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 72

By seriouslysinglenomingle - 25/08/2017 00:20

Today I saw a fit and attractive man take off all his clothes and show me his large package. This was the first time I ever saw a real life dick and it was for figure drawing class. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 15

By IHateMyJob - 24/08/2017 23:49 - United States - Estero

Today, my co-worker praised my boss who was so understanding about her needing time off when her cat died. Later, I sent my boss an email saying I needed time off to care for my mom who had major surgery. She responded with "Get someone to cover for you."

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 7

By potatochip_hoarder - 24/08/2017 22:39

Today, while riding a bus, a woman sitting in front of me was brushing her hair when she decided to throw the excess hair in the brush out the window. She failed. It flew back inside and onto my chest. I didnt know what to do so I gave it back. My crush saw it all and is still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 24/08/2017 22:21

Today, I found out my best friend is pregnant. She keeps saying it's mine. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I'm a virgin, or the fact that we're both girls. She actually thinks that if she says it's mine I'll have to raise it with her.

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 6

By "Tony Sg Hollis" - 24/08/2017 19:43

Today I came home to find out my father sucked my fish into the filter thinking it would clean the fish

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 9

By norestforthewicked - 24/08/2017 13:04 - United States - Frisco

Today my state mandated that all schools have 'in god we trust' posted within the building. I'm an atheist teacher and all I trust is that my coworkers will crucify me if I complain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 18

By "glambitch93" - 24/08/2017 11:44

Today...just to be funny I decided to start talking like Yoda during a hot and steamy sext session with my boyfriend. Apparently..."Your light saber, I want" was enough for him to get the job done. I guess we are both superfans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 23

By Anonymous - 24/08/2017 10:43

Today, my manager handed me a brand new iPad Mini, saying I won our monthly engagement raffle. I then got a call from my head manager, who said it actually wasn't for me. I had to give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 886

You deserved it 273

luvhamilton tells us more.

luvhamilton 5

Thursday 24 August 2017 10:03

OP here, I did this anon cause they never get posted, anyways, yes it was petsmart and yes I did give it back be cause the person who actually won is an amazing person and I didnt think it was fair as she had known much longer than I had. She works in grooming and them and alot of the floor staff gave the manner shit for over a week and I got pay back. all's good imo I went and got an iPad anyways on my cell plan and proved I'm a good person. Still, that was an awful day.

By gaijingirl - 24/08/2017 02:36

Today, my Japanese boyfriend of 10 months said that he doesn't think we have a future together because he needs to marry a traditional Japanese woman. I just moved into his apartment last week, and won't be able to move again for at least a few months. I'm living in Hell. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 16