Love

Masculinity in peril

By Anonymous - 19/08/2023 00:02 - Germany

Today, and for the past year, my boyfriend keeps wanting to arm-wrestle with me. I’m rather petite and I don’t exercise a lot, yet I’m still waiting for him to win, just even once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 137

Dude, chill out

By U... - 18/08/2023 22:00

Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 128

WTF is that?

By fock - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Almonte

Today, I had to convince my 28-year-old boyfriend to take down his booger wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 761

You deserved it 5 479

Take care

By Everything Counts - 17/08/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, and recently, I've been accused of being jealous whenever I point out that someone is taking advantage of my wife's kindness. I just want her to get the love and friendship she deserves, not these flighty balls of stress that then destabilize her moods. Self-care is sometimes being open to saying, "NO!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 122

Stolen valor

By lifesucksbigtimefuys - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for years asked if I could be her "emergency gay friend." The worst part? I said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 936

You deserved it 27 169

Risky move

By Username - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my fiancé, the love of my life, informed me that he proposed because he was sure I'd say no. He was hoping it would lead to our breakup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 995

You deserved it 3 896

Hiding something?

By Carolina - 16/08/2023 14:00

Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum about how “men are allowed to have female friends”, smashed stuff in the living room, for him to storm out and slam the door, making the house tremble. All I did was tell him that his friendship with his secretary made me uncomfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 226

The betrayal

By jojolovesyou134 - 16/08/2023 18:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Spicy

Today, my best friend of 18 years decided to end our friendship in order to continue sleeping with her brother-in-law, who is also my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 115

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 16/08/2023 04:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he "couldn't handle the distance." He said he "couldn't commit to driving to see me long term." We live two hours apart, and I've driven to him every time; he never tried to come to me once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 157

You deserve each other

By best friend! - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada

Spicy

Today, my best friend informed me that she has been sleeping with my boyfriend. She tried to justify it by saying, "He's just going to break up with you anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 100

You deserved it 2 500

Mommy knows best?

By Mamasboyhater - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me because his mom told him to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 194

You deserved it 5 729

Coercive freak

By Anonymous - 14/08/2023 18:02 - United States - Towaco

Today, my girlfriend hates my friends and I'm not allowed to talk or hang out with them. She keeps threatening my job. The only reason I'm still with her is because she will try and get me fired. She's crazy and so is the rest of her family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 631

Do you guys even talk to one another?

By Anonymous - 14/08/2023 18:00

Spicy

Today, my wife pretended she was going to suck my knob, but then bit it so hard she drew blood. Apparently, she saw the texts from my “girlfriend”. The texts were actually from our elderly neighbour, who asked me to feed her cat while she visited her daughter. She thought “feed my cat” meant "illicit sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 117

What's so funny?

By Puleksy - 14/08/2023 14:00 - Poland - Brzeg

Today, I said to my significant other, "I think I'm a pretty good catch." She started laughing so heavily that tears came out of her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 228

Mixed signals

By Anonymous - 14/08/2023 03:00 - Morocco

Today, a friend and I tell each other everything about our relationships, and we’ve been flirting for two years, but we’re not together. I started to have feelings for him, but I didn’t say anything, then the guy started to disappear and I don't know if he has an avoidant attachment, or he's just ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 512

Needs improvment

By AUsefulMess - 13/08/2023 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. It isn’t acrimonious, no-one cheated, but his life will apparently “improve immeasurably” now, while mine will basically crash. I’ve spent the past 5 years working on improving as a person for him, and I thought I’d succeeded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 283

Insecure dudes everywhere

By sadcation - 13/08/2023 16:00

Today, my boyfriend gave me an ultimatum: either cancel my amazing work trip or stay with him. I chose the trip and he assured me he’d be gone by the time I got back. His issue? My boss thought it’d be cheaper to get an AirBnB instead of getting us all hotel rooms, and that men are also going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 262

Women be shopping, amirite?

By Anonymous - 13/08/2023 06:00

Today, after I used to laugh at videos of dudes being evicted because their missus spent the mortgage on shoes and handbags, I got home and my missus had some brand new shoes and handbags. You can guess the rest. I swear I’m divorcing her for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 293

Reverse Uno prank

By Anonymous - 13/08/2023 12:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Spicy

Today, my best friend, who I hadn’t seen since last year, picked me up and we got to talking about our memories together. I brought up the time we both cheated on our girlfriends at a Red Hot Chilli Peppers concert. Little did I know his girlfriend was waiting in the back of the car to scare me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 927

That joke isn't funny anymore

By Anonymous - 13/08/2023 00:02

Today, I told my husband that as I wasn't hungry, he had to cook for himself. He rang my Spanish stepmother as a joke to complain that I’m not wifey material. She showed up, whacked me with her Chancla, and browbeat me into cooking. He feels hella guilty, but he’s still a dead man once she leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 315

Alexa, play "Both Sides Now" by Joni Mitchell

By Anonymous - 12/08/2023 22:00

Today, one of my best friends and I both got mail. She got her wedding invites to send out; I got my divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 143

Jealousy is a hell of a drug

By SmhBetches - 11/08/2023 00:02

Today, my “best friend” threw me under the bus and got me fired from my job, possibly getting charges pressed against me. She told on me for sweethearting (ringing up one item when she'd bought multiple items) her, all because I’m dating a guy she likes. She didn’t even tell me she liked him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 1 119

Empty threat

By duck'n'cover!! - 10/08/2023 22:00

Spicy

Today, during an argument, my girlfriend said she wasn't having sex with me anytime soon. She never wants sex in the first place, so her threat fell pretty flat. When I pointed this out, she went absolutely apeshit and started throwing plates at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 149

Weird dude of the day

By Anonymous - 09/08/2023 22:00

Today, my girlfriend found the airtag I'd stuck under her car. The police were called and she kicked me out of her apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 2 831

Missed opportunities

By ThatLove - 09/08/2023 11:04

Today, after two failed long-distance relationships, I was so happy to finally meet a local guy I really liked. After an amazing date, he shared that he'll be moving to the exact opposite side of the country in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 138

You deserved it 203

ThisIsYourDoc tells us more.

ThisIsYourDoc 7

Wednesday 9 August 2023 10:54

Hello, OP here. Haha yes, i posted the one where my boyfriend wanted my emotional support for getting mistreated by the girl he cheated on me with. That was why one of these long distance relationships that failed. :/ It has actually been longer ago than when I posted, but I didn't feel like posting anything back then. By now I find the situation so bizarre, I can laugh about it :D

Get out of the garage

By lq87 - 09/08/2023 01:00 - United States - Lebanon

Spicy

Today, I realized my fiance would rather sit in the garage and get high than spend any time with me. I can't remember the last time we had sex and I don't know what to do at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 147

Red-handed

By Anonymous - 08/08/2023 22:00 - United States - Wolcott

Spicy

Today, I was really excited to fuck my boyfriend when I got home from work. When I got home, I found him excited and… fucking someone from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 210

Spending spree

By cheapskate supreme - 09/08/2023 00:02

Today, my husband guilt-tripped me for buying a $14 purse. According to him, my old one, with its busted zipper, frayed hems and holes in the interior, was still “perfectly good to hold all your crap.” I literally only have one purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 957

You deserved it 119

Happy days

By Anonymous - 08/08/2023 20:00

Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 1 212

Evidence

By Lawyer time - 08/08/2023 16:00

Spicy

Today, I found a receipt from a lingerie store for some nice garments. When I asked my wife about it, she stammered and said it was a birthday surprise, then got mad at me for ruining it. My birthday isn't for almost ten months and she hasn't been sexual with me for years, much less spontaneous. Nice try. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 166

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FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, ever since he got out of jail, my brother thinks it's hilarious to use the skills other inmates taught him to break into my house, setting up pranks, or watching tv and waiting for me to get home. It's mostly harmless, but it is still majorly pissing me off. Should I call the cops if he continues? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 188

You deserved it 139

Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 666

You deserved it 2 167

Today, I took my clothes off for a shower at an RV campsite. I started running the water when I noticed there was a pack of hornets in the bathroom. I stood there, stark naked, waiting for a chance to get out, for four hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 081

You deserved it 5 636

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 996

You deserved it 5 276

Today, I told my boyfriend his shirt and pants did not match and that he should change for dinner. All my belongings are now on the sidewalk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 678

You deserved it 41 872

Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that I deserved to be punished. He didn’t fine me, instead he sent me to the naughty step for five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 185