Karina · 30 September 2024, 06:00 ·Miami, United States

Demoted to just a friend, then

Today, my best friend of 5 years, who I got feelings for, and who I spent endless time bending over backwards and going above and beyond for, once again rejected me. He got into a car accident and I stayed with him all night, only for some girl he never even told me about to come and introduce herself as his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157 You deserved it 918

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fmlmvlijthen · 29 September 2024, 16:00 ·Netherlands 🌶️ Spicy

Oh look, a big red flag!

Today, the girl I've been seeing for two months and with whom I'm in love with, asked me, whilst she's on holiday celebrating her birthday, whether I would pay for a male escort for her as a birthday gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492 You deserved it 158

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Anonymous · 28 September 2024, 16:00 ·Lafayette, United States

Change of heart

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390 You deserved it 262

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Freddie · 28 September 2024, 12:00 ·Poole, United Kingdom

Alexa, play "Ancient History" by The Cribs

Today, I was the best man at my longtime friend’s wedding. I got so into talking about our shared memories over the years that I accidentally called his bride by his ex-girlfriend’s name at the end of my toast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109 You deserved it 589

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Anonymous · 27 September 2024, 20:00 ·Australia

Charming

Today, I was on a date, everything was charming and fun, so I went in for a kiss. She turned her head at the last second, and I ended up kissing her ear. We both went on to pretend that it didn’t happen, but the silence was deafening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 119

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joi9496 · This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Stellar parenting

Today, at age 23, I met my absentee father. He went on about how much he missed me and wanted to know more about me. He then asked if I knew where he could get some good weed, and said he'd share it to make up for all the missed birthdays and Christmases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 742 You deserved it 486

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Anonymous · 27 September 2024, 16:00 ·United States

Vicious circle

Today, I found out that my boyfriend's most frequent OCD tic is also the biggest trigger of my misophonia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390 You deserved it 101

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Anonymous · 27 September 2024, 12:00

More like high key

Today, I had no idea my mom was low key racist until I told her I was dating a black woman, and she told me that was fine, just as long as I didn’t do something silly like fall in love with her or let her distract me from finding a proper wife. Wow mom, just wow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495 You deserved it 153

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Harriett · 27 September 2024, 06:00 ·Vancouver, Canada

I'm fine, this is fine

Today, I was out shopping with my friends when I saw my ex. I instinctively tried to hide by quickly turning around and walking into a store. It was a mirror. I walked straight into my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249 You deserved it 339

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Anonymous · 27 September 2024, 00:00 ·Boise, United States

Stranded and lonely

Today, all I want is someone to talk to. The only person who ever responds is my ex-fiance who cheated on me. Multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416 You deserved it 120

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Anonymous · 26 September 2024, 20:00

Confused

Today, I steeled my nerve, gritted my teeth, pulled my finger out, and asked our new coworker on a date. He looked at me weird, then said those four words, “But I’m not gay.” Five weeks we’ve worked together and all that time he thought I was a man. I’m a woman, born a woman, with a vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612 You deserved it 162

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gassy · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·United States

Toot toot

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 256 You deserved it 36 109

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Anonymous · 26 September 2024, 14:00 ·United States

Introverts can relate

Today, all that I wanted for my birthday was for someone else to pick out a cake flavor, and to spend the day alone. I've been asked ten times what kind of cake I want, and my husband took a off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191 You deserved it 457

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Anonymous · 26 September 2024, 12:00 ·Tamworth, United Kingdom

Explain yourself!

Today, my boyfriend of four years proposed, and I said yes! Not even three hours later, I got a text message asking if we could just be friends instead. He won't tell me what changed, and doesn't feel like he owes me any explanation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623 You deserved it 88

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Anonymous · 25 September 2024, 22:00 ·Canyon Country, United States

Body horror

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend. I was the little spoon. His hand moved to my chest (I'm less than an A-cup, but very full on my bottom half), and I playfully said, "No! Don’t touch my chest!" He replied, "Huh? I thought that was your rib cage!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 360 You deserved it 183

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Derek · 25 September 2024, 09:00 ·Fallbrook, United States

Kinda sus, huh?

Today, my best friend told me, "Dude, your girlfriend looks so much like this girl I went to high school with!" and showed me a picture of a girl with a string bikini in a semi-suggestive pose on the beach. I know what you're thinking, but it wasn't my girlfriend. He HAD to choose the skimpiest photo to compare to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337 You deserved it 149

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Kate · 24 September 2024, 20:00 ·St. Thomas, Canada

Very romantic

Today, I went to my (now ex) boyfriend’s step-uncle’s wedding. He got absolutely wasted and kept talking about marrying me in front of his mom and step-dad, but was listing off who he would and wouldn’t invite, all in front of the people he wouldn’t invite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474 You deserved it 116

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Nathalieeeee · 24 September 2024, 16:00 ·San Diego, United States

Congrats!

Today, I was working as a caterer at a wedding when I congratulated the bride’s mom, saying, "You must be so proud of your daughter!" She responded, "I’m the bride." FML

I agree, your life sucks 148 You deserved it 5 546

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anon · 23 September 2024, 20:00 ·Montréal, Canada

His type

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His mom stared at me throughout dinner before finally blurting out, "I'm sorry, I can't get past the fact that you look just like his ex!" It turns out I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548 You deserved it 82

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ZackAMole · 23 September 2024, 00:00 ·Canada

Messy

Today, I was finally about to propose to my girlfriend at a fancy restaurant. Just as I got down on one knee, the fire alarm went off and the entire restaurant had to evacuate. She thought I was joking, and now she’s mad at me for "messing with her emotions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 528 You deserved it 75

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jakob the small twink · 22 September 2024, 22:00 ·Fallbrook, United States

Inferiority complex

Today, I pulled up to a party/house rave. I was told there were a decent amount of women there. I guess they'd all left by the time I arrived. The only girl I saw there was my ex-girlfriend, who left me without a trace last month, dancing with a bunch of guys who were all physically way bigger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374 You deserved it 180

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Anonymous · 21 September 2024, 22:00 ·United States

The real Zodiac killer?

Today, I told my husband that we should write down all our passwords so we don't forget them. Later, after he'd left, I pulled out his password sheet to do a little snooping, only to learn that he'd written them in some sort of bizarre cipher. What's he hiding? FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 You deserved it 1 266

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sad and embarrassed guy · 21 September 2024, 20:00 ·United States

Emotional journey

Today, my love life is so godawful that I started ugly-crying when the song "Love Hurts" began playing on the radio while I was driving. I had to pull over. Several people passing by stopped to see if I needed help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328 You deserved it 187

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Anonymous · 21 September 2024, 00:00 ·United States

Dizzy

Today, I fainted in my bathroom, full on naked and sprawled out on my bathroom floor. When I came to, I was in pain from landing on my side and very disoriented. I sat up and could see my husband just roll over in bed and go to sleep. He didn’t even ask me if I was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486 You deserved it 83

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Anonymous · 20 September 2024, 20:00 ·United States

Plot twist

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with lunch at work. He surprised me too, when I caught him making out with one of his coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599 You deserved it 77

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Anonymous · 20 September 2024, 14:00 ·United States

OK then

Today, my girlfriend found the engagement ring I'd bought. She looked at it and said, "This is pathetic. You shouldn't even bother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 669 You deserved it 95

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mrniceguy · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

How very dare you!

Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 745 You deserved it 2 548

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P…… · 20 September 2024, 00:00 ·United States

Once you pop…

Today, not an hour after my girlfriend lectured me on boundaries and "my body, my rules", she threw an epic tantrum because I wouldn't let her pop a pimple on my ear. Apparently, only she gets to have boundaries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552 You deserved it 97

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Anonymous · 19 September 2024, 20:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Don't snoop

Today, I thought that my husband and I were going to work things out, since we’ve been having sex every night. I snooped into his emails today while he was at work, only to see that he’s started the divorce process without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506 You deserved it 318

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Lard · 19 September 2024, 14:00 ·United States

Dodging a bullet

Today, my fiance called off our engagement, all because I let myself go due to comfort eating and depression since my mother passed and I got fired from work. He told me to lose 60 pounds or he “won’t consummate the marriage with my lard ass.” Our wedding and honeymoon were less than a month away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508 You deserved it 569

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