Love, Your everyday life stories

Depresso-espresso 9 November 2024, 03:00 United States

Romcom vibes

Today, I visited the best cafe for the fourth time in a week. I’ve tried not to flirt with the same (hot) barista, I even mentioned my partner, but we chat and joke every time, and get on well. After I said bye and left, I heard a hasty, “Love you, bye.” It's maybe a joke, but he’s a total catch, and I don't know if I can go back there now. FML

7 comments

Anonymous 8 November 2024, 12:00 United States

Hang in there, man

Today, my best friend of five years left cause I “followed them” and that made me depressed, then I couldn’t go outside or to class anymore cause I was too depressed, then my girlfriend, whom I was going to marry, left me because, you guessed it, I was too depressed. Now I’m in a mental hospital for trying to kill myself. FML

4 comments

ummno This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff United States

Are you serious?

Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML

156 comments

Anonymous 7 November 2024, 12:00 United States

Crazy for you

Today, I realized that having someone crazy about you is no fun when they’re actually crazy. My girlfriend tried to physically fight the barista at Starbucks for offering us a wrong made drink for free. She thought the girl was flirting with me and tried to jump the counter. FML

4 comments

Lost Reggie 6 November 2024, 15:00 Starkville, United States

Territorial

Today, I'm at odds with my fiancée because a drunk girl approached me at a Halloween party and complimented my costume. I barely acknowledged the woman and made polite small talk until she walked away. Apparently, I was too friendly and should have shooed the woman away rudely and immediately. FML

5 comments

Anonymous 6 November 2024, 03:00 United Kingdom

If it was intentional…

Today, we had an argument and my husband called my mother right in front me. Two minutes later, she was on his side and yelling at me on FaceTime that I’m a bad wife, a pain in the ass, and a nagging bitch. The argument was about him leaving tools around for me to step on and cut my foot open with. FML

5 comments

Hotmama This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff United States

Puppy love

Today, I was nice to my son's friend. He's 27 and needs to get a life, so now he won't stop texting me and flirting. I will have to escort him back, not just to the "friend zone", but to the "I'm twice your age and your friend's mom zone." FML

14 comments

Alone 5eva 4 November 2024, 09:00 United States

Desperate

Today, my cheating ex is still happily married with his new wife and kids 4 years after he left me for her. Meanwhile, I keep getting ghosted, left on “Read/Seen”, and getting a guy to be into me is like pulling teeth. I think it’s time to throw the towel on love and die alone. FML

1 comment

Catfished 4 November 2024, 00:00 Makati City, Philippines

This is wrong on so many levels

Today, I was supposed to meet up with a girl I met on a dating app and had been chatting with. We exchanged the classic, "I'll be here and wearing this." At the location, a girl from a distance, wearing the described outfit, was checking me out. I immediately bailed out. Not only she is 9, she is also a student of mine. FML

2 comments

Geraldine 3 November 2024, 15:00 Miami, United States

Choose your moments

Today, my boyfriend of three years decided to propose. It would’ve been perfect, except he did it during my family’s annual backyard BBQ, and his proposal was drowned out by my drunk uncle singing karaoke. FML

1 comment

Anonymous This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff United States

Jump scare

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I pissed myself. FML

154 comments

Vacation over 2 November 2024, 12:00 United States

Sock it to me

Today, as we packed for a vacation, I saw my boyfriend pack several pairs of the ugly gray socks he knows I hate. I took and threw them away before we left. One flight, cab ride, and furious argument later, I learned that one pair had an engagement ring wrapped up inside. FML

8 comments

Anonymous 2 November 2024, 00:00 United Kingdom

Cut them off

Today, I was yelled at by my ex's best friend and ex-partner. Long story short, I cheated and no, it wasn't right and wasn't a good thing to do, but now I'm being told he has the right to remind me everyday and make sure I never forget my mistakes, and that they are supposed to make sure I never fall out of line. FML

5 comments

Anonymous 1 November 2024, 22:00 Singapore, Singapore

Fashionista

Today, it's been a month since I silently moved on from my online boyfriend. I met him in a chatroom after a break-up. I thought he was my "forever after." He told me he'd lost his feelings for me and told me to wait. I waited, only for him to reveal that he was going on a date by asking me if a shirt was good for him. FML

1 comment

coldasfire This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff United States

Spirit world

Today, I found out my girlfriend keeps my toenails in her deceased grandmother's prized music box. She says it's to, "Keep the box natural." I don't understand why she does this, or what she means by "natural." FML

58 comments

Anonymous 1 November 2024, 12:00 United States

Chemistry

Today, I wore a new perfume to a first date in park. Halfway through, he kept sniffing the air and asked, “Do you smell onions?” Turns out the perfume reacted badly with my skin chemistry, making me smell like a taco stand. FML

2 comments

che 1 November 2024, 09:00 Edmonton, Canada

Rant of the day

Today, I really hate you. Why would you lie to me and tell me you chose me over her, just to talk to her again behind my back? I forgave you, we ended on good terms, I'm happy with that. I'm not really mad with you, I'm just confused and sad. The whole time my friends were telling me to stop and they were right about you. FML

3 comments

Anonymous 31 October 2024, 15:00 United Kingdom

Hung up

Today, my husband booked a restaurant and a trip to the theatre for my birthday, and even got me some nice jewellery. It’s not my birthday. It is his ex-girlfriend’s birthday though. My birthday isn’t for another four months. It’s the thought that counts I suppose. Idiot. FML

2 comments

Anonymous 31 October 2024, 12:00 Bremerton, United States

Close call

Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML

3 comments

RIP 31 October 2024, 03:00 United States

Spoiled

Today, I finally got my boyfriend to watch one of my favorite TV shows. I was excitedly talking when he interrupted me and angrily said, "Can you stop with the fucking spoilers?" I then realized I'd spoiled half the show. He left to play video games. FML

2 comments

anon 30 October 2024, 20:00 United States

Lonely but tidy

Today, I spent an hour cleaning my apartment because I thought I had a date coming over. Right as they were supposed to arrive, they canceled because they “got too tired.” Now it’s just me, alone in a spotless apartment, watching a terrible documentary on Netflix. FML

2 comments

Privacy please 30 October 2024, 12:00 Richmond, United States

So, as I was saying before I was interrupted by your colon…

Today, my wife hit a new level of clingy when she picked the lock on the bathroom door so she could sit with me while I shat. FML

4 comments

Geeee 30 October 2024, 09:00 United States

Eyes on the prize

Today, my ex, who “didn’t believe in posting our relationship on social media”, has no problem posting his new girlfriend and showing her off. He acts like he won a very valuable prize with her, and I was left in the shadows for the whole year we dated. FML

4 comments

Anonymous 29 October 2024, 20:00 United States

Another non-emergency

Today, I went on a date, and halfway through I started getting nonstop calls from “Mom” on my phone. Annoyed, I silenced them. Later, I checked my voicemail. It was actually my mom calling from the ER because she had slipped and broken her ankle. FML

4 comments

Anonymous 29 October 2024, 12:00 Flemington, United States

Be grateful, you nitwit

Today, I got my husband a really expensive Bulova watch. He asked for brown. I got him a brown and gold leather watch. He said it looked to much like the cheap $10 watch in his collection and asked if I could exchange it. I can’t - no refunds. Now we are fighting because he can’t express his feelings. FML

4 comments

Anonymous 29 October 2024, 03:00 Newark, United States

NEXT!

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've been crushing on for a while. At one point we started talking about pets we'd had. I wanted to show my sensitive side, so I told her how I sadly had to get my beloved cat euthanized earlier that week, and had buried her in my backyard. Her response? "Ew." FML

1 comment

Pissed 29 October 2024, 00:00 United States

Gotcha

Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML

4 comments

Anonymous 28 October 2024, 22:00 Jesteburg, Germany

Freestyle

Today, my dad gave a speech at my wedding. It started with, “Forty years ago, there was a tree…” and continued in the same vein about his work as a biologist. I might have been mentioned in passing. My new wife was not. FML

1 comment

homealone This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff Canada

Even more lonely now

Today, my parents left on a trip. I wanted to invite my girlfriend over for a few days so we could spend them together. Then my grandparents turn up, "just for a few days, until your parents return, so you won't be all alone in this big house." FML

82 comments

Haley 28 October 2024, 03:00 Great Bend, United States

Hey big spender!

Today, I opened some junk mail addressed to my fiancé and saw a credit letter about applying for a new mortgage. When I called to tell him his identity was stolen, he admitted he bought a house, and then broke up with me. I had no clue he was unhappy. FML.

2 comments