Today, I found out that my most amazing spring break ever, will be spent stuck on a ship with my ex. It's been almost two years, and he still isn't over me. Yay. This cruise shall be fun. FML

by nomoresbfun / 02/22/2010 at 1:31am / United States (California) / Holidays

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

by Username / 02/22/2010 at 12:44am / United States / Health

Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML

by shwasted / 02/22/2010 at 12:17am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, while eating at an outdoor café, a man on the street came up to me and said, "My girlfriend is sexier than you, bitch." Thanks for the confidence boost. FML

by sandiego / 02/22/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML

by Rafiki / 02/21/2010 at 10:14pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals

Today, my best friend had set me up on a blind date. The guy demonstrated at length that he could do different cartoon voices such as Donald Duck, Droopy and many others the entire time. Oh, and he also kept wanting to talk about his farts. FML

by Court / 02/21/2010 at 9:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was walking with a friend after buying two cups of steaming hot coffee. While crossing the busiest street in town I tripped and fell, spilling the coffee all over me. My friend didn't notice I fell right in front of her and tripped over me spilling her coffee on me as well. FML

by burnnnnn / 02/21/2010 at 8:31pm / Ecuador (Azuay) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out on a date with a guy. I leaned down to get something out of my bag and hit my head on some protruding concrete. I said I was fine. Then blood came running down my face. FML

by erin1985 / 02/21/2010 at 7:31pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML

by anna14 / 02/21/2010 at 2:34pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my first day of softball practice. I'm the youngest one on the team by about 2 years, so I wanted to prove I'm just as good as everyone else. Too bad I tripped in the outfield and got hit in the head with a bat. I have a concussion. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2010 at 2:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a drunk man opened the unlocked door to my house thinking it was his house. He tried to attack me because he thought I was a burglar. FML

by jerrid / 02/21/2010 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. A pretty redhead came on the screen. One of my guy friends leaned over to me and said, "Have you noticed there aren't any pretty redheads in real life?" I guess he forgot what color my hair is. FML

by Mika_Ookami / 02/21/2010 at 12:54pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous