EsteriGermaine

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Esterigermaine's favorite FMLs

By yousofunny - 06/06/2017 15:23

Today, just like any other day, I came home from work to find all my cabinets opened, my couch cushions on the floor, my sink drain filled with items, my shoes scattered all over my apartment, etc. I thought I was adopting a kitten, but it turns out it was actually the Antichrist. FML

agreeclassic 3 450

vote type 1 610

Mfisher394 app_comment_confession_title

Mfisher394 16

Friday 2 June 2017 20:44

OP here. He is about 6 months old now, so not exactly a "kitten" anymore, but still. He is honestly the weirdest kitten I've ever had. He eats everything, opens all my kitchen & bathroom cabinets, somehow throws all my couch cushions on the floor, puts things in my sink & toilet, climbs up my walls, jumps inside my inclosed shower then knocks everything down inside, jumps on top of my flat screen and walks across the top, eats my hair in my sleep, and attacks everyone who comes into my house that isn't me. I have an slightly older cat (1y 6m) who had a stroke and now has some brain damage, and she thinks he is the weirdest thing ever! Lol! Luckily they get along well! I love him to death, but I was totally unaware of what I was getting into. Ha!

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By auraya1985 - 12/09/2015 21:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML

agreeclassic 28 373

vote type 1 1 900

By Anonymous - 26/08/2015 07:45 - India - Kolkata

Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML

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By OhWhoCares - 17/08/2015 21:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was walking to my car with 600 dollars worth of books because I start college next week, when I was robbed by some guy that sounded like Cartman. He punched me because I could not stop laughing whenever he would try to threaten me. FML

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OhWhoCares app_comment_confession_title

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Tuesday 18 August 2015 17:18

I got an FML published!!! Lol wow and I submitted it when I was still pretty upset I didn't think it'd get published :P Okay anyway I ended up calling the police and they were able to find him, along with my books and apparently a ton of other stuff since he'd been robbing people all day and drugs. Hopefully this isn't an omen or anything about my upcoming semester...

By shit.jpg - 25/08/2015 19:22 - United States - Waban

Today, a fifth grader gave me a note from his "father" excusing him from PE. It was riddled with spelling errors and shockingly poor grammar, so I rejected it as a blatant fake. Several hours later, I was informed by his very angry father that it wasn't actually fake. FML

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