By funnymanjoe - 14/09/2011 11:06 - United States
hassi158
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Beginner
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Supersize Menu
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
The thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Happy ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.
Santa Claus
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Inception
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return, you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
The Mixer
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I agree, my mouse works.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
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Work is a 4-letter word
Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
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50 favorites
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One more and it's business time
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
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The return of the thumb
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I liked to the power of 20
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Hassi158's favorite FMLs
By Anonymous - 14/09/2011 13:56 - United States
Please, think of my family…
By StaplerScared - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada
By Anonymous - 08/11/2011 17:20 - United States
By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 12:55 - Australia
Hot boy summer
By dumbassbuffet - 11/11/2011 15:53 - Canada
Thanksgiving is such a special time of year
By emilyta - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States
emilyta_fml tells us more.
By wow - 28/11/2011 01:07 - United States
By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:00 - United States
By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 07:23 - United States
By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 14:20 - United States
By Brian - 18/03/2012 02:32 - United States - East Wenatchee
By SHK519 - 25/03/2012 01:07 - United Kingdom - London
SHK519 tells us more.
Hey, I'm the OP. For your information, my grammar was impeccable. The people correcting it were American readers "correcting" stuff such as "colour", "realise", and the usual suspects. As for calling the Pope a noob, it was joking. I was ranting about the Africa situation actually, and I said he's a noob to the real world if he thinks celibacy is going to fix it. Thanks for demonising me, though! Anyone who thinks I deserve to be threatened with eternal hellfire for writing my opinions is stupid. I've shut the thing down until I write more material, because people in general are ******* stupid.
By damselfly - 27/03/2012 00:28 - Canada - Montreal
damselfly tells us more.
OP here--had to get an FML account to comment. To my roommate's credit, she had the mess all cleaned up by the time I got home--only the smell was left. I can't blame her for having snakes, either, since I moved into the apartment knowing she had them, and being ok with it. Can't say I'm too thrilled with her storing the rats in the freezer, but they do have to eat, and I least I was able to put my foot down on her thawing them in the oven (seriously, WTF?). A couple of people asked why she was feeding her snakes dead rats. Apparently, it's pretty controversial among snake owners, but most people feel it's inhumane to feed live. You'd be surprised, but feeding live is actually very dangerous to the snake--since the feeder rats can't run away (being in a tank with a snake), they fight instead. My roommate has a rescued snake whose last owners fed it live--the poor thing is covered with scars. Snakes can die that way. @18--Sadly, I know exactly what rotted snake smells like...*sigh* Roommate got ahold of a dead Burmese python (it was not a pet), and wanted to preserve the skeleton for educational purposes, but didn't get the right beetles ahead of time. I said there was absolutely no way it was coming in the house, but she did, once (to try a different method of getting the flesh off the bones). It was...unbelievable. Had no idea something could smell that bad. That was actually just 2 weeks ago, and the smell only just got out when the rat incident happened. I'm too tolerant, methinks. She's what you might call eccentric. @12--Thanks for the advice about the vaccuum sealer :) She said she'd thought of it, but can't afford it right now.
By MattBC97 - 27/03/2012 16:24 - United States - Aurora
MattBC97 tells us more.
DAMN IT now I got more Happy Birthday wishes on FML than my **** account... Shit.
By takhay - 28/03/2012 00:37 - Japan - Tokyo
takhay tells us more.
I actually told a few people at the same time, and they all backed away simultaneously...
By Baustigt - 28/03/2012 11:19 - Australia - Perth
By scarletscarface - 30/03/2012 03:00 - United States - Yorba Linda
scarletscarface tells us more.
Well, when i removed the cover, I decided to try to get the pudding off all at one time. So part of it was in my mouth. When I slid it out, I did get all the pudding off, but also managed to cut my mouth :( I wont be making that mistake again...
By LiveLoveLys - 31/03/2012 18:28 - Canada - Barrie
LiveLoveLys tells us more.
OP here. I love my boyfriend, but you wouldn't BELIEVE how lazy and unmotivated he is sometimes. I think his attitude of not giving a **** goes back to how he's always been fed with a silver spoon and been given EVERYTHING in life. He feels as if he doesn't need to do anything, and that it's all up to everyone else. That goes for getting a job and earning money to pay the bills as well as stupid stuff like this. His attitude is "if they can figure it out, why should I care?" That doesn't make him a bad person, but it's hugely insensitive. I wouldn't be surprised if most of the people here talking crap about me are exactly the same as he is. That "your" vs "you're" thing bugs the hell out of me anyway and it's not like committing the difference to memory is a hard thing. Long rant done, thanks. Edit: I didn't mean to reply to this comment. :S
Good job
By whatnow - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Carmel
I don't drink much and he wanted to have drunk sex. Lol fail on him.