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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Always check where you're posting

    By Jimbob - 08/10/2025 20:00

    Today, I got a mass message on WhatsApp from my extended family about my cousin’s engagement. Trying to be funny, I replied, “Wow, can’t wait to see how long this one lasts.” I thought I was sending it to my brother. Only my brother. I sent it to the whole family group. Including my cousin. And her fiancé. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 54
    You deserved it 677
    Share  

    Dying days

    By Lou Riche - 08/10/2025 09:00

    Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I've stayed friends with, begged me to accompany him to the hospital, and act like we are still in love and are now engaged in front of his dying grandmother, who once greatly supported our relationship. We both witnessed her last moments, and her last words to us: "…who the hell are you?" FML
    I agree, your life sucks 403
    You deserved it 109
    Share  

    You snooze, you lose

    By Anonymous - 07/10/2025 00:00

    Today, my daughter has spent the last few hours moaning that the boy she’s known since they were 4 years-old got a girlfriend instead of asking her out. She’s known him for almost 20 years. If she liked him all that time, she should have asked him out herself instead of moaning at me. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 470
    You deserved it 112
    Share  

    Favorite

    By ImmaLoser - 05/10/2025 15:00

    Today, the girl I have a crush on posted on her Instagram story: “Best present ever from the most amazing guy ever!” One of my friends gave her the same item I got her for her birthday last month. When I gave it to her, she nonchalantly said, “Cool, thanks.” FML
    I agree, your life sucks 401
    You deserved it 126
    Share  

    Bent out of shape

    By Anonymous - 01/10/2025 15:00

    Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I thought I was joining a “Beginner Yoga” class, but it turned out to be advanced hot yoga. I lasted six minutes before falling out of a pose, knocking over two water bottles, and crawling out of the room like a wounded crab. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 330
    You deserved it 124
    Share  

    Do you have no sense of smell?

    By Anonymous - 01/10/2025 09:00

    Today, I tried to surprise my partner by lighting candles all over the living room. It looked magical… until one candle melted the TV remote into a puddle of plastic. We spent our romantic evening trying to Google “How to change channels without a remote.” FML
    I agree, your life sucks 99
    You deserved it 454
    Share  

    Tedious, yet annoying

    By Bob - 30/09/2025 09:00

    Today, I watched the Dallas Cowboys game, only for it to last for four hours and end in a 40-40 tie. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 119
    You deserved it 394
    Share  

    Let's celebrate

    By Anonymous - 29/09/2025 15:00

    Today, my son had a baby so I poured out the last of the bottle of scotch bought by my grandfather around about 1910. There was just enough for two glasses. I took a sip and spat it out, leading to my son confessing that he drank it as a teenager and replaced it with god knows what brown liquid. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 511
    You deserved it 99
    Share  

    Overbearing

    By Anonymous - 28/09/2025 22:00

    Today, my mom got in my house while I was on vacation and “cleaned it” AKA moved everything around. Now every time I ask her, “Mom, where's my unpaid bill?” or “Mom, where’s my blue suit?” or “Mom, where’s my work ID?” all I get from her is, “Oh it must be somewhere; where did you see it last?” AAAAAAAARGH FML
    I agree, your life sucks 471
    You deserved it 91
    Share  

    Doofus

    By Pete - 28/09/2025 03:00

    Today, I tried to make popcorn in the microwave but forgot to remove the plastic wrapper. The kitchen filled with smoke, the fire alarm went off and my neighbors came knocking to see if I was alright. When they asked what caused it, I had to admit that it was “Erm… popcorn.” FML
    I agree, your life sucks 106
    You deserved it 424
    Share  

    Windshield blues

    By Damnit - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

    Today I noticed a large crack in my windscreen. Two weeks after getting it replaced. The warranty doesn't cover cracks. Several attempts were needed to replace it last time for reasons like losing the new windscreen and telling me they couldn't make it that day and turned up any way after I'd gone out. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 286
    You deserved it 233
    Share  

    Not the barber on Penny Lane, then

    By Jeremy89 - 23/09/2025 09:00

    Today, I told my barber, “You cut my hair perfectly this time!” He frowned and said, “This is the first time I’ve cut your hair. Who’s been screwing it up for you?” It’s been him, for the last two years. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 326
    You deserved it 122
    Share  

    Those were some hefty dogs

    By NeedsANewPhone - 23/09/2025 03:00

    Today, after getting my phone fixed last week because my daughter dropped it and it landed on a corner, I dropped it again at the dog park and several big dogs fighting with my dog stepped on it. One of them cracked the screen again. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 282
    You deserved it 155
    Share  

    Look at me

    By Anonymous - 20/09/2025 00:00

    Today, I realized that my gay male friend tells me I’m pretty, gives me random compliments, and shows me off more often than my husband of 10 years. I legitimately can’t remember the last time my husband called me beautiful. Even if I ask him how I look, the best I’ll get is “You look fine.” FML
    I agree, your life sucks 391
    You deserved it 125
    Share  

    Stinky

    By Barney - 19/09/2025 12:00 - United States

    Today, while in a bathroom stall at work, I pulled out my phone to play Candy Crush. Somehow, I hit the volume button, and my phone blasted a YouTube ad for men’s body spray. The whole room went silent. Then I heard someone say, “You need it, son.” FML
    I agree, your life sucks 93
    You deserved it 408
    Share  

    Fore!

    By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

    Today, I was skating with my friends when I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was, "Look out!" I now have twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 58 462
    You deserved it 8 947
    Share  

    So, do they?

    By Bad speech - 09/09/2025 15:00 - United States - New York

    Today, I gave a presentation at work using my laptop. When I plugged it into the projector, the last thing I had Googled popped up on the big screen: “Do hamsters get depressed if you ignore them?” FML
    I agree, your life sucks 189
    You deserved it 325
    Share  

    Emergency situation

    By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

    Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 29 709
    You deserved it 5 488
    Share  

    FOCUS!

    By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff

    Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 30 572
    You deserved it 2 715
    Share  

    Flat on my ass

    By Slipped - 05/09/2025 03:00 - United States

    Today, I went to a cook out and sat on a flimsy plastic chair. Halfway through my burger, the chair gave out, and I collapsed in front of everyone, still holding the burger. Someone shouted, “At least you saved the burger!” while everyone laughed. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 352
    You deserved it 113
    Share  

    Secret life

    By AKdogowner - 03/09/2025 12:00 - United States

    Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been sexting several other girls from Reddit for over a year. While we were at his parent’s house for dinner. Last year I found out he was on drugs for the first year we dated. This was all as I was in the process of feeding my dying dog. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 407
    You deserved it 116
    Share  

    Karma?

    By Pristine-Praline-977 - 02/09/2025 15:00

    Today, it's been 5-ish years since I bought my condo. Last year, my washer became unbalanced and flooded my entire place and I had to do a total remodel. Everyone said, “What a freak accident, nothing like this will happen again!” Today the hot water supply line to the sink burst and flooded my condo. What did I do in a past life? FML
    I agree, your life sucks 420
    You deserved it 79
    Share  

    Varied diet

    By Anonymous - 01/09/2025 12:00 - United States - Sutton

    Today, and for the last six months, my mom has been feeding my Huskies human food behind my back. It's not only table scraps, it's ridiculous amounts of food. I've asked her to stop but she doesn't respect me, and I know she only does it to get on my nerves. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 403
    You deserved it 114
    Share  

    Knackered

    By Jim - 31/08/2025 00:00 - Canada - Toronto

    Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day at work. I woke up when someone gently tapped my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see people smiling at me. I'd been snoring so loud that the conductor had said, “Please wake Sleeping Beauty up, this is the last stop.” I had drooled on my tie and missed my actual stop by an hour. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 389
    You deserved it 155
    Share  

    I've gotta lot going on, OK?

    By Anonymous - 30/08/2025 09:00 - United States

    Today, my house absolutely reeks of skunk after my dog got tagged at 10pm last night and we didn’t realize it until she was already back inside. This is on top of a nasty case of whole body poison ivy my 6 year-old is dealing with, and my wife’s appendix decided to leave the chat last week. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 407
    You deserved it 86
    Share  

    Plastered

    By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Alfreton

    Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. Last week, she wrote sweet things like "Love you forever" and "Light of my life" on my arm cast. I have to wait two more weeks until it's taken off. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 51 403
    You deserved it 3 969
    Share  

    Date night to remember

    By Anonymous - 27/08/2025 00:00 - United States - Saint Paul

    Today, I'd planned a low key date night with my partner for tonight. I told them about it last night. When they got home, they asked why I was dressed up. When I mentioned the date night, they just shrugged and said "Oh, OK" then made a joke about my lipstick. They didn’t change out of their grubby clothing. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 375
    You deserved it 168
    Share  

    Don't give up

    By Frustrated - 24/08/2025 20:00 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, my wife complained that our sex life is too boring and vanilla. I have spent the last two years suggesting ideas to keep it interesting: S&M, swinging, roleplay, cosplay, public play, new toys, you name it. All I ever hear is, "Eww you pervert, that is disgusting and sick, how dare you even mention that." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 517
    You deserved it 122
    Share  

    Lactose intolerant

    By ClintBEASTw00d - 19/08/2025 12:00 - Canada - Surrey

    Today, at the gym, I attempted to deadlift after binge eating ice cream last night. I need new underwear. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 78
    You deserved it 545
    Share  

    Promises, promises

    By Anonymous - 16/08/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I was feeling frisky so I promised my husband he’d get some at bedtime. He promised not to hold his breath. When I asked what he meant, he told me it’s been 83 days since our last shag, and in that time we almost had sex 16 times, only for me to change my mind, hence not holding his breath. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 87
    You deserved it 801
    Share  
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    Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 59 197
    You deserved it 7 067
    Today, I saw my favourite shirt on the floor of my dorm's bathroom. Feeling too lazy to bend down, I used my feet to "flick" the shirt up. Apparently, some drunkard took a dump on the floor and used my shirt to cover it up. I now have shit all over my feet, hands and the wall in front of me. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 33 405
    You deserved it 6 603
    Today, for the first time in a month, I talked to someone in person besides my grandmother and my husband. It was a store clerk calling me "Miss" and asking if I was finding everything okay. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 578
    You deserved it 316
    Today, my girlfriend and I threw a housewarming party we'd been planning for almost 2 months. Out of the 30 plus people I invited from work, literally nobody showed up. Not going to lie, I'm a little depressed about it. It's going to be hard to go to work and pretend I'm not upset. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 464
    You deserved it 281
    Today, I'm synesthetic and see sound and get sensory overload. I've got roadworks outside, a big renovation, and a party with lots of kids next door. My kid alternates between screaming, singing, or playing with the loudest toys. I also have a friend staying over who has no volume control. I can't go anywhere else due to disability. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 470
    You deserved it 190
    Today, I went to my favorite coffee shop, ordered my usual, smiled at the barista I have a crush on, and confidently said, "You too!" when they told me to enjoy my drink. I have to find a new coffee shop. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 149
    You deserved it 362
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