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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Not so Secret Santa

    By Tim - 22/12/2025 09:00

    Today I volunteered to organize the office Secret Santa. I carefully tracked names, budgets and preferences. On gift day, I realized I’d emailed the spreadsheet to everyone. People now know who hates mugs, who regifted last year, and who wrote “Anything but candles.” Our Christmas spirit died pretty darned quick. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 104
    You deserved it 478
    Share  

    Unilateral decision

    By Crap - 20/12/2025 09:00

    Today, after reading about microplastics and taking a look at our ratty plastic containers, I tossed them all and spent some money buying some decent glass containers. My wife spent the evening giving me a metric ton of shit because apparently the crappy plastic containers were "sentimental." Fucking spare me. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 255
    You deserved it 370
    Share  

    Life choices

    By Anonymous - 18/12/2025 09:00

    Today, I love eating cherry tomatoes. I was eating them last week, and left some on the counter. Yesterday, I ate two from the box again. It was rotten and sour. I didn't think or spit it out. Now I have severe stomach ache that I can't move. Why am I like this? FML
    I agree, your life sucks 74
    You deserved it 456
    Share  

    WAKEY WAKEY

    By mindy - 11/12/2025 03:00

    Today, I set my phone alarm to play a calm piano song so I’d wake up peacefully. Instead, Bluetooth connected to the speaker in my roommate’s room and blasted my alarm at full volume at 6 a.m. for both of us. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 127
    You deserved it 329
    Share  

    Left behind

    By happysingleone - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

    Today, the last of my college friends is getting married and now I'm the last single one. Don't worry though, if one ever gets a divorce we can hang out again. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 9 172
    You deserved it 1 205
    Share  

    Good luck with that, Carol

    By Tired Barista - 08/12/2025 00:00

    Today, this lady came in my Starbucks and once again asked if we have the glass teddy bear cup. That cup has been sold out for the past month or so. We explained, once again, that the cup was a “while supplies last” item. She screamed at us and threatened to sue if we “ruin her daughter’s Christmas.” FML
    I agree, your life sucks 389
    You deserved it 77
    Share  

    Oh no…

    By x.x - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Tampa

    Today, I was taking a shower when the soap began to burn my eyes worse than they've ever burned before. I quickly grabbed whatever cloth I could find to rub my eyes with. My dad's old underwear was the last thing I would expect to find lying near the tub. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 42 704
    You deserved it 5 883
    Share  

    Goodbye

    By nba - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

    Today, my coworkers threw me a going away lunch, since I’m moving on to a better opportunity. Nothing reminds you why you’re leaving like being the last person to your own party, and picking over the minuscule amount of food scraps that are left. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 952
    You deserved it 373
    Share  

    Preppers, man

    By Bad at adulting - 04/12/2025 15:00

    Today, I attempted meal prepping to “get my life together.” Within an hour I'd burned rice, melted a plastic spatula, and discovered I’d seasoned chicken with powdered sugar instead of salt. My smoke alarm and my stomach filed complaints. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 162
    You deserved it 368
    Share  

    Single dad struggles

    By Just kids being kids - 02/12/2025 12:00

    Today, I lost yet another girlfriend because of my kids’ behavior. The last one told me, “I’d rather get fisted by Freddy Krueger than deal with those hellspawn of yours!” At this point, I’m going to be a single dad forever. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 109
    You deserved it 675
    Share  

    It's always the last place you'd expect

    By Anonymous - 28/11/2025 12:00

    Today, I was looking for a tiny little container I use to keep my medication dosages when I travel. I checked just about every place I could think of, so where did I finally find it? Behind the wide open closet door. It had fallen out of my travel bag, which I'd used last week, and rolled behind the tiny nook it made. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 265
    You deserved it 88
    Share  

    What did you expect?

    By Not Marge - 22/11/2025 09:00

    Today, my husband is hurt and upset that our daughter legally changed her name the day she turned 18. I had to ask him, as nicely as I could, what the hell he expected when he named her Lisa and her last name is Simpson. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 389
    You deserved it 166
    Share  

    Rolling thunder

    By Dana - 21/11/2025 00:00

    Today, it's been a week that I've had bad constipation. Overeating on my 16th birthday last week got me sick; since then I've pooped only once, and it took a hard push to go it out. Today I had my second poop. Good news: I did go. Bad: it happened on the bus home from school. My pals actually cheered when I finished straining. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 182
    You deserved it 332
    Share  

    Hoarder

    By Anonymous - 19/11/2025 22:00

    Today, my girlfriend came home with a Labubu. Yesterday she received two Labubus in the mail. She spent the last weekend looking at, and "researching" Labubus. There's Labubus everywhere in our apartment. I fucking hate Labubus. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 432
    You deserved it 96
    Share  

    WAKEY WAKEY

    By Anonymous - 19/11/2025 09:00

    Today, I woke up to the sound of my own voice yelling, “GET UP, YOU LAZY CUNT!” on repeat. It took me a moment to remember I'd drunkenly recorded my own alarm last night because I thought it would “motivate” me. It scared me so much I fell off the bed. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 101
    You deserved it 490
    Share  

    Home alone

    By Jdogg - 15/11/2025 00:00

    Today, I was home alone, blasting music, dancing in my underwear, singing into a wooden spoon. I turned around mid-performance to see my landlord standing in the kitchen. I’d forgotten about the maintenance appointment I'd scheduled. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 114
    You deserved it 422
    Share  

    Better safe than sorry

    By Anonymous - 14/11/2025 12:00

    Today, I was going over my vaccinations when I spotted that I hadn't gotten my Covid vaccine since last year. Not a big deal, my doctor hadn't made a mention of it on the last visit, and I got my flu shot last month. At least it wouldn't be a big deal if my friend hadn't tested positive for Covid last week. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 218
    You deserved it 296
    Share  

    What should I do?

    By Taylor Montgomery - 14/11/2025 03:00

    Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 11 years is cheating on me. I’m so numb, I don’t even know what to do. We just bought a house together last year, and we have a dog I’m not willing to let go. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 456
    You deserved it 100
    Share  

    You absolure freak

    By Frederik - 12/11/2025 03:00

    Today, I woke up to my roommate glaring at me. Apparently, I was sleep-talking again, but last night I apparently shouted, “You’ll never find the bodies!” multiple times. He’s been sleeping with his door locked since. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 381
    You deserved it 109
    Share  

    Hey big spender!

    By Anonymous - 11/11/2025 22:00

    Today, I received a food delivery. The bag was huge. I thought the restaurant had made a mistake and given me extra food. I checked the receipt; it said, “Special note: For our hungriest customer. Extra napkins!” They'd remembered me from last time I ordered a ton of food. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 113
    You deserved it 326
    Share  

    Heartbreak Hotel

    By pixiegirl - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

    Today, I found out that the "secret admirer" I've been exchanging letters with for the last three months, and even started developing feelings for, is actually my ex best friend trying to pull a prank on me. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 39 317
    You deserved it 6 895
    Share  

    Freaky party

    By I need abs - 04/11/2025 20:00

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, at a party, I walked in on a guy I like fucking a girl. Last week, we attempted to hook up - he'd taken my shirt off then said, "Sorry, this doesn't feel right. I can't do this." I angrily told him, "So she feels right for you, huh?" He replied, "Her gut didn't hang when I took her top off. Now leave us alone." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 186
    You deserved it 439
    Share  

    Self help

    By Anonymous - 31/10/2025 00:00

    Today, I watched a YouTube video on how to fix a leaking sink. I was feeling confident and turned off what I thought was the main water valve. It wasn’t. Ten seconds later, a geyser of freezing water blasted me in the face. My cat watched the entire thing from the counter, with the most judgmental stare I’ve ever seen. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 149
    You deserved it 366
    Share  

    Good thing?

    By Anonymous - 27/10/2025 12:00

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I found out that my girlfriend of eight years had cheated on me for the last two. It's been about three years since it happened and I now can't look up porn because it reminds me of the gut-wrenching feeling of this event. It's a good thing, but WTF? FML
    I agree, your life sucks 281
    You deserved it 108
    Share  

    Give me a ring

    By Anonymous - 24/10/2025 03:00

    Today, I got home and my girlfriend was wearing the ring I bought last week. Apparently she found it and thought to herself, "Fuck it, we’re engaged now so I’ll just start wearing it", completely bypassing the actual proposal part of getting engaged. I’m actually really mad at her right now. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 590
    You deserved it 130
    Share  

    Awks

    By Anonymous - 21/10/2025 03:00

    Today, I told a woman at the gym that I “loved her confidence” because she was wearing the same bright leggings I’d been too nervous to wear. She smiled awkwardly and said, “Thanks, they were my sister’s. She passed away last year.” FML
    I agree, your life sucks 405
    You deserved it 114
    Share  

    Square one

    By Jessica - 21/10/2025 00:00

    Today, after spending last year putting in hard work, which paid off and I got my dream job, due to my own mismanagement of stress my dream job is gone and life is back at square one. Now everyone's predictions of me being a waste of space are true and I have to reinvent my life. Starting over at 38 after already starting over at 36. I can't anymore. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 371
    You deserved it 151
    Share  

    Knackered

    By Fucking go away - 11/10/2025 12:00

    Today, I told my girlfriend I was exhausted and wanted a nap. She decided to join me, then got bored and started watching Instagram reels blasting the same five seconds of some awful Cardi B "song." She got pissed when I asked her to stop. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 449
    You deserved it 89
    Share  

    So touching…

    By weddinggirl - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Germany

    Today, my boyfriend of five years finally asked me to marry him. He said, "We could save on taxes if we got married… What do you think?" That was the most romantic thing he's said to me in the last two years. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 34 740
    You deserved it 10 199
    Share  

    Downward spiral

    By ZEN - 10/10/2025 12:00

    Today, after I took off a week from work to grieve the loss of my girlfriend, who was very sick and passed due to natural causes, my paycheck suffered because of that and last night, to avoid going back to hard drugs, I went out to the clubs where I blew the only 250 bucks I had on strippers and drinks. Now I have 0 bucks for rent. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 193
    You deserved it 717
    Share  
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    Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 40 432
    You deserved it 6 604
    Today, I was emptying a bag of grass from my lawn mower when I saw pieces of what used to be a 50 dollar bill. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 35 205
    You deserved it 6 198
    Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 14 681
    You deserved it 44 268
    Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of a sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House MD was on. He'd stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 69 463
    You deserved it 15 296
    Today, I made eye contact with a very cute girl in a café just as I biting into a croissant. It crumbled so violently that a piece flew up into my eye. She just stared at each me in disbelief as I yelped and rubbed my eyeball clean. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 357
    You deserved it 135
    Today, my son is incapable of sleeping alone because my husband keeps co-sleeping with him, stating, "He's going to be a kid for only a little while." The same guy who forced me to stop co-sleeping with the same kid because, "Kids need to be independent." The hypocrisy. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 384
    You deserved it 77
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