"Your degree will open so many doors" By Lewis - 18/12/2018 00:30 The way I live determined, that was a lie! I agree, your life sucks 219 You deserved it 111 Share Tweet Share
Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML I agree, your life sucks 36 376 You deserved it 2 943
Today, my manager said it was my choice to have surgery on my arm and that I shouldn't complain, everyone goes through pain. She's right, but I was born with a birth defect in my wrist. The surgery was going to happen sooner or later, I didn't want to be born this way. FML I agree, your life sucks 924 You deserved it 58
Today, I was informed that the company I work for has been taken over by the previous company I worked for. I left that company with a burn-out, after years of 60-75 hour weeks, so I'll soon be working for them again in the exact same department I so happily left behind last year. FML I agree, your life sucks 960 You deserved it 97
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML I agree, your life sucks 33 784 You deserved it 121 705
Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML I agree, your life sucks 51 069 You deserved it 27 463
Today, I caught my wife flicking a booger off her finger. I asked her why she was doing that and she said, "Because if I can't see where it lands, it disappears and is not gross". It landed on my arm. I saw where it landed, it did not disappear, and yes it is gross. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 991 You deserved it 168
Today, while with a large group of friends, my best friend started talking about my struggles with dating and intimacy. I quietly asked her to stop talking about it, as it was personal and I wasn't comfortable with everyone else knowing. Her response? "Um, it's really none of your business." FML I agree, your life sucks 38 221 You deserved it 3 218
Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML I agree, your life sucks 47 919 You deserved it 9 844