By Lewis - 18/12/2018 00:30 "Your degree will open so many doors" The way I live determined, that was a lie! 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By poor excuse for a father - 27/10/2018 14:00 Today, my wife is out of the country so my daughter asked me for help. She'd tried waxing her "private bits" but it hurt too much so she left the strip stuck down there for nearly two days. I was so unable to handle the situation, I called my wife crying and begging her to come home and deal with it. FML I agree, your life sucks 2643 You deserved it 651 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nose Numb - 30/11/2014 20:24 - United States Today, for the first time ever, my family bought a real Christmas tree instead of using our old fake one. Today, I also found out I'm allergic to Christmas trees. My family won't get rid of it because they paid so much for it and intend to "get their money's worth". FML I agree, your life sucks 33213 You deserved it 3455 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FUUUUCK - 11/2/2014 20:00 - United Kingdom Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML I agree, your life sucks 43371 You deserved it 25893 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By socianx - 18/8/2013 21:23 - Albania Today, I was to give a business report to several important shareholders. Right at the start, I broke into a coughing fit, then got so nervous that I froze up. When I tried to excuse myself, I tripped over my own feet. I'm now facing demotion for making the company look bad. FML I agree, your life sucks 43049 You deserved it 5639 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WellFineThen - 17/4/2017 05:00 - United States - Cedar Falls Today, at work, a woman screamed at me and called me a bitch because I refused to refund something we give away for free. FML I agree, your life sucks 4889 You deserved it 262 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BobsBabe2 - 24/10/2012 05:15 - United States Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML I agree, your life sucks 33081 You deserved it 2818 185 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Adalia - 3/10/2009 15:38 - United Kingdom Today, I wore a beautiful new dress that I got for £5 only in a sale. I've been turning heads in it all day. When I got home, my mum pulled the massive red £5 tag off of the back. FML I agree, your life sucks 14730 You deserved it 39304 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MouserMan - 22/10/2014 14:47 - Canada - Olds Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML I agree, your life sucks 38012 You deserved it 4261 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - 15/6/2011 05:07 - United States Today, a car hit me while I was in a crosswalk. The driver jumped out of her car and stepped over me to check her car for damage. FML I agree, your life sucks 44063 You deserved it 3105 158 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By goingdownhillfast - 12/4/2017 02:00 Today, after getting her "out-of-office" email, I realized that my coworker is on vacation this week. We're doing our final presentation for a major project on Thursday, and she hasn't finished her part. I guess I won't be sleeping this week. FML I agree, your life sucks 4265 You deserved it 288 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/2/2014 17:22 - United Kingdom - Cambridge Today, my boss bitched me out on the sales floor for a good 10 minutes, because I wasn't "smiling the right way" for our customers. FML I agree, your life sucks 41919 You deserved it 3904 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 7/1/2012 06:30 - United States Today, I found out what its like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML I agree, your life sucks 31448 You deserved it 7175 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By slondons - 18/1/2011 20:53 - United Kingdom Today, my friends were acting strange around me. This afternoon, I got a text asking me to meet them out for a couple of drinks. Because of all the strange acting, I decided to tell them I'd go and then not go. I just found out they had been planning me a surprise party. FML I agree, your life sucks 9588 You deserved it 52143 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By freshman - 25/3/2011 23:05 - Canada Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 10135 You deserved it 59949 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 6/10/2010 23:18 - Canada Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML I agree, your life sucks 10616 You deserved it 38296 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/3/2014 18:53 - United States - Wellsville Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML I agree, your life sucks 47291 You deserved it 4142 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 23/3/2014 04:05 - Canada - Ottawa Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML I agree, your life sucks 46257 You deserved it 5094 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yper - 27/10/2009 16:43 - United Kingdom Today, I bought a nice new dress for a work party. But when I went in, a coworker hurried me into the bathroom saying, "Don't worry we can fix this." She thought someone had been sick on me. Thanks. That was just the pattern of the dress. FML I agree, your life sucks 30732 You deserved it 7330 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Clueless - 24/5/2009 05:01 - United States Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML I agree, your life sucks 14375 You deserved it 60132 168 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anon - 10/11/2012 21:14 - United States - Kent Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML I agree, your life sucks 30927 You deserved it 2216 218 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 23/12/2016 02:26 - United States - Tucson Today, my husband still hadn't gotten me anything for Christmas, so I bought and wrapped my own presents. Then I had my husband write 'to me, from him' on them so that I won't be embarrassed in front of my family on Christmas when it comes time to open presents. FML I agree, your life sucks 7935 You deserved it 1134 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/8/2013 08:49 - France - Paris Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 53465 You deserved it 4227 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 26/9/2014 21:27 - United States Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML I agree, your life sucks 42875 You deserved it 3730 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 10/7/2020 23:01 Covid 19 ain't going anywhere Today, my fiancé and I decided to just have a small wedding and have a big reception later, out of concern for everyone’s health and safety. My mother won’t stop asking us, “What’s the point now?” I thought our marriage was the point. FML I agree, your life sucks 1481 You deserved it 108 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By orilykid - 31/10/2012 17:23 - United States - Richmond Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML I agree, your life sucks 25965 You deserved it 1941 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KCHS - 11/12/2014 18:20 - United States Today, the power went out at school. As a senior, I don't show up until third period. When I got there, I signed in as usual. The office secretary waited until I signed in to tell me that if I hadn't, I wouldn't have to attend classes that day. Now I have to sit in class doing nothing. FML I agree, your life sucks 29949 You deserved it 3550 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jasmine - 10/10/2014 05:52 - United States - Sacramento Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered, "I shaved my legs this morning." He shook his head and said, "No, I meant your face." FML I agree, your life sucks 38789 You deserved it 6084 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 21/10/2013 16:57 - Canada - Calgary Today, I learned where my mom's "special hiding spot" that I'll "never find" for the Halloween chocolate is, when I preheated the oven to make cookies. FML I agree, your life sucks 45542 You deserved it 4588 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dan - 9/11/2009 01:08 - United States Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML I agree, your life sucks 10755 You deserved it 49028 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 6/8/2009 22:46 - United States Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML I agree, your life sucks 67766 You deserved it 8159 191 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FaceTime issues - 6/4/2014 06:57 - United States - Scottsdale Today, I called my mom to ask for some help with my dishwasher. Somehow, the call got turned into a video call. I was wearing a bathrobe, and she was naked in her bathroom. Most awkward call ever. FML I agree, your life sucks 41953 You deserved it 4983 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - 13/3/2009 23:04 - United States Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML I agree, your life sucks 71083 You deserved it 5296 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By soccerbooty - 7/6/2010 06:43 - United States Today, my boyfriend started to plan our wedding. He included a clown. FML I agree, your life sucks 38770 You deserved it 8093 209 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By grounded4life - 22/7/2009 21:31 - United States Today, I tried to make my mom feel better about me leaving for camp for 2 weeks by saying I wish she would come too. She took me seriously and called the camp and is now a camp counselor there. The only problem is I lied about going to the camp, and I'm really going to my boyfriend's lake house. FML I agree, your life sucks 19317 You deserved it 83169 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By someone - 9/12/2013 12:59 - United States - Mogadore Today, my car broke down. I pulled to the side of the road to call a tow truck. After waiting what seemed like hours, the tow truck showed up, and then ran into the back of my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 47031 You deserved it 2849 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 3/12/2015 14:02 Today, I accidentally walked in on my dad as he was getting changed. Now I know genetics can be a real bitch. With such a massive difference in size, I have to question whether I'm even biologically related to this old three-legged git. FML I agree, your life sucks 29859 You deserved it 3565 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By backtosquareone - 4/4/2017 08:00 - Hong Kong - Central District Today, after months of searching, I was offered a job. After hearing how excited I was on the phone, HR docked the initial salary offer by 40% in the written contract. She said it was non-negotiable. Guess I'm back to job hunting. FML I agree, your life sucks 5487 You deserved it 451 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/1/2019 16:00 Today, I went over to my friend’s house while she was sick. In order to show me how bad her sense of smell was, she took a handful of VapoRub and rubbed it all over and inside of my nose then said, “Can you smell that? I can’t.” Yes, I can. But I can also feel my nostrils burning. FML. I agree, your life sucks 2169 You deserved it 260 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WhyAppleWhy - 1/9/2012 23:14 - United States - Sarasota Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML I agree, your life sucks 22480 You deserved it 52530 201 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lextoast - 26/7/2015 18:15 - Rwanda Today, I went on a fabulous date with a really cute, smart, funny guy. He only mentioned his dad, so when I asked about his mom, I asked if they were divorced. She'd died of breast cancer so I felt awful. Then I asked if his dad had ever remarried. His stepmom had died of cancer too. FML I agree, your life sucks 31657 You deserved it 2661 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I found out my boyfriend of six years, with whom I wanted to spend my life with, has been cheating behind my back with my friend. The kicker? They... I agree, your life sucks 300 You deserved it 33 3 Comments
Today, I could hear my parents having sex from the other end of my house. My mom set the stove on fire because she forgot she was cooking. FML I agree, your life sucks 562 You deserved it 45 4 Comments
