Brenden
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Massillon, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Welcome…
Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML
Top comments
Selphis 20
What grass are we talking about?
Overcast117 5
That has to be the weirdest new neighbor offer/introduction that I have ever heard.
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Comments (65)
Hawaii84 16
I'm sure you were doing the gentlemanly thing but maybe you could have waited until she got to know you better and then offer to mow her lawn. People are not nice nowadays and someone showing kindness is rare so people think their is a motive behind it.
pastispast 7
you tried..better luck next time
MattieJH 12
You couldn't just offer them a basket of fruit or some other neighborly gift? I agree, the father took it too far, but that does have an innuendo just waiting to be called out.
kwyk 23
No guy would ever do anything nice for a girl without sexual, or at least romantic, motivations! Seriously though, it's annoying how many people actually think that. If you're nice to a random girl in public she assumes you're a stalker. Chivalry is dead :(
Steffi 26
Since when can't young people mow lawns as well as old people?
Enslaved 38
It does sound fishy. You did say "mow her grass" vs cut your dad's lawn etc... (And why can't the dad do it himself?) Is "fairly young" the same thing as almost legal? Gotta wait before-- you run through her wicked garden Heard that's the place to find ya.
monnanon 14
it took it as she was 18 just old enough to be living alone and her dad was helping her move in.
RedPillSucks 33
He should have waited until dad left or at least not make the offer within dads earshot.
buckdharma 38
It looks like you'll just be doing the weed whacking.
Ammoniak 1
Your ass is grass and i'm gonna mow it!
perdix 31
A good neighbor would also offer to snake her drain and polish her knobs ;)
UnluckyGenius 21
In real time events OP probably said "I will go down to maintain your front yard any day."