Healthy Lifestyle, Embarrassing, Painful and Health: Watch out!

Watch out!

By FlyLikeABird - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML

agreeclassic 26 917

vote type 1 4 461

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Guilty

By jamienicole1993 - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Savannah

Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML

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Freak out

By zAstonish - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

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I was right all along

By 3peeps - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML

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You were warned

By kko - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML

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Say it, don't spray it

By ... - this FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

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I'm OK!

By MAC. - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML

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Customer of the day

By oped01 - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Cape Coral

Today, in a department store, a woman with a parrot sitting on her shoulder was trying to return a coffee maker. She explained that she had to return the coffee maker because the bird didn't like it sitting on the kitchen counter. FML

agreeclassic 11 401

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Right back!

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML

agreeclassic 3 419

vote type 1 938

By Ohwhy - 27/10/2012 11:53 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML

agreeclassic 24 503

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By "ztodaro" - 30/06/2017 20:00

Today, while I was inside a store, I heard a crash. Of course I ignored it because my car was parked. I paid for my items and walked out to see this. Nobody else was around. FML

agreeclassic 3 890

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PenguinBitch 43

Monday 17 November 2014 10:12

*two crows laugh nearby*

LiveLifeAllDay 11

Monday 17 November 2014 9:49

I'm usually nice about this but I would have loved to see this happen

Comments

SystemofaBlink41 27

Monday 17 November 2014 21:32

I hate flying into windows, too.

grimpeeper 13

Monday 17 November 2014 22:21

Wait, what did you do? If it was on purpose, YDI and if not, well it still depends.

JacobFurness 7

Tuesday 18 November 2014 2:19

How did that happen?

hopegeraghty 3

Tuesday 18 November 2014 3:44

that's the power of windex

willliamfriend 18

Tuesday 18 November 2014 3:49

The power of windex

redstone7693 29

Tuesday 18 November 2014 4:54

just move to Canada! free health care.

yazzieyaz1 18

Tuesday 18 November 2014 6:21

I do that all the time!

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I did the math: if I wiped out my savings account, the joint account I have with my husband, as well as the savings accounts I started for nieces and nephews to pay for student loans, I would only owe $41,000 more. FML

agreeclassic 831

vote type 1 318

Today, everyone in my department got a raise except for me. Last week, I had been the one who asked for a raise for me and my fellow department members. FML

agreeclassic 39 723

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Today, while watching Harry Potter, I realized I don't have any positive memories to be able to do a Patronus Charm. FML

agreeclassic 600

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Today, I realised that I live to work. I’m not even good at my job. FML

agreeclassic 959

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Today, somebody stopped by the front desk at the hotel I work at to report a vehicle had its headlights on. I wrote down the info, including the plate. Hours later, after my shift was over, I finally realized that it was MY vehicle. The battery was dead. FML

agreeclassic 8 126

vote type 1 42 522

Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML

agreeclassic 29 401

vote type 1 3 205

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